[crsta33]

I thought toddlers were supposed to do this *after* the baby is born. Mine is already in a mama-only phase. And right now, I can usually accomodate her, but I know I won't be up for all the diaper changes, bathes, etc. that come with toddler territory (that's why I have help from my mom...she's here to take care of me and Kenna so I can take care of the baby).

Anyone have any good advice/strategies for dealing with this? And the tantrums that ensue? And the hurt feelings daddy gets? And the further tantrums he causes by egging her on? (telling her he's going to do it and making her cry more)

She's having nightmares too...crying out in the middle of the night and crying inconsolably until I snuggle her up and get her settled back in. I really thought all this adjustment stuff if supposed to happen after the baby gets here...I'm worried it's just going to get worse!

I've got that magical thinking too...maybe it's a sign of impeding labor.

Christa

 

[Awaken]

Well, I don't have any advice, only comisseration- I was actually going to post on the toddler forum today!

Our issue is demands- constant demands, and a full out tantrum if we don't 'comply' immediately- either if it's something we can't do, like make a train come over the bridge right now , or give him pretzels when we don't have any, or if we say I'll do it in just a minute when I'm free. I can just see it now, the continuous tantrums this is going to incite when my hands are full with the baby and he wants something immediately !

And I have no help at all either now or after my husband goes back to work

 

[3for3hb]

Funny this situation has come up in the threads here...
Willem went through a mama only stage I guess it was about a month ago. He's been reacting differently lately but for a while I was a little nervous about introducing a new baby into the situation. Now he's totally a daddy's boy. Of course I think he's just responding to the fact that I'm really not that mobile anymore and if he wants to have any fun he's got to wait until daddy comes home to chase him around. He still wants only me to coerce him to sleep at bedtime. But he sleeps with DH in our bedroom and I sleep alone on his bed (it's the only way I can get *some*so maybe that has something to do with it too).

As far as the demands, itsybitsy, they are coming on pretty strong here too. This morning I got on DrSears' site and read a bunch of articles about tantrumy toddlers and the stages they go through. It was very encouraging and helped me remember that this won't last forever. Sometimes they just need to express their anger/frustration at the world for not being able to control it. I'm certainly no one to give advice on the subject as I oftentimes doubt my gentle disciplining skills and give way to raising my voice and even my temper (bad mommy, bad mommy

).

 

[bucaye]

My 4 year old is acting out now too. She is very weepy and winey. She wants to be held and cuddled. I try as well as I can, but the tummy gets in the way. She is always not listening and saying no to both of us. It's really getting kinda hurtful . . . My dh and I hope she will act more like the lovable little girls we knew months before after the babe is born . . .

 

[RainCoastMama]

NAK

Oh god...my 2 yr old is now offically MORE work than the newborn and DH and I are at our wits end!!!

I never thought it would be like this as her personality was so *sweet* before the baby, given normal 2 yr old stuff like occasional tantrums. Now she's regressed into baby talk, whining, throwing things, screeching, demanding me NOW (at the top of her lungs) *especially* when the baby is nursing or on me, and in the middle of the night (we're family-room cosleeping - Iget the bed with the newborn, DH and DD are on a mattress on the floor) she wails for me and milk - she's drinking so much at night I'm afraid for her teeth.

No real strategies though what's working (we hope) is not giving attention to 'bad behaviours' - no attention = maybe she'll give it up. We grit our teeth and pretend it's nothing out of the ordinary.

Also DH has been spending tons of time with her and having outings every day. I also try to make up for it when I can ie. when baby is not nursing.

Dee

 

[DesireeH]

Oh man, we are having the same exact issues. Just tonight ds threw a fit about mama laying with him in the bed and not papa and papa threw a bit fit and went and slammed the door to our room. Sheesh, that's gonna help!

We have the demands here too. I feel like I am going crazy sometimes! Sorry, no advice, just wanted to say you are not alone!

 

[flapjack]

It's not a toddler thing. my 5yo does it too...

 

[nataliekat]

Well, if the baby is here, then the reasons for acting out are pretty obvious. But even for still pregnant mamas, I think they know something is up. My 3-year-old is doing the same thing.

She wants me to do everything. She doesn't want to go anywhere, she just wants me and her to stay home together all the time. Poor thing. I really feel for her when the baby comes.