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Hi Gretchen I have so much to say, it has been hard to find time to reply! Here are some random ideas:

1) breastfeed. If you have not been able to continue pumping while Oliver was in hospital, then relactate and use an SNS if needed. If they tell you he needs high calorie formula then negotiate with them fortifying your breastmilk rather than giving him straight formula. Whatever you can do will help.

2) cloth diaper. It's better for him and not really hard.

3) declutter and simplify. If he has lung issues then the fewer stuffed animals the better, and a decluttered home will be easier to keep clean.

4) cosleep. You may need to use a bedside cosleeper initially if he is fragile, needs an apnea monitor, needs to be elevated, etc., but it will do you both a lot of good if you can work out a way to cosleep comfortably and safely as early as possible.

5) make your own bargain with the meds, synagis shots, neb treatments, etc. I tell myself that my son would not even be here without drugs and surgery. So while I am not actively seeking ways to medicate him, I have to accept that he still needs medications. There are some you can minimize: for example, if you have him sleeping elevated he may need less reflux medication (assuming he will need it! Maybe you'll be lucky.)

6) enjoy your baby, keep him near you and hold him close.

Congratulations on your baby, I hope he is home with you soon where he belongs.
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