[oatmeal]

I've been totally and completed exhausted since I was about 40 weeks pg.

I can't remember when I felt myself- when I was present in my body not wishing I could rest.

My daughter is 20 months now and I am wondering from those mamas who have older kids... does it ever end? Are we ever ourselves again? Are we ever rested, regular adults again???

I am so tired of being tired!

 

[bunnybartlett]

is also 20 months and I think you read my mind.Does your daughter cosleep??Mine does for the second half of the night.and she is still nursing too.She finally went to bed tonight at 11pm and woke up at 12:45 and I just laid her back in her bed..she woke up the first two times.She has never been a good sleeper but it is getting worse and I am at my wits end.I'm starting to doubt my parenting.My MIL says she "needs to crya little" and while I don't think thats the answer I sure would like some uninterrupted sleep.!!!!
Somebody help us!!!
Linda
who should be sleeping but also needs some alone time.....

 

[oatmeal]

I hope some mamas with older kids come in here and reassure us that we will be rested again one day??? Or is it a pipe dream!

Lisa, I say get her out of your bed if you can't rest. DD slept with me - everyone objecting, until she self-weaned at 13 months. Then, I got her a crib, put it in my room and put her in it and that was that. She never CIOed... She just did it. Now I sleep on the couch in the livingroom 5 nights out of seven because she's a noisy thrasher in her sleep and it wakes me up the five other times she's not waking me up yakking for her ba-ba. She takes one ba-ba in the middle of the night - around 2-3 am then goes back down until 5 - woo hoo. I would kill to sleep through the night until 8 AM - I MEAN KILL.

Will we ever be rested again mamas?

 

[mamabeard]

my first son was a terrible sleeper (we coslept) until somewhere around 3. that's when he started sleeping throo the night. i finally started getting used to it, and now i have an 8 week old.. so i feel your pain! i really really miss sleeping on my stomach (no boobie access that way)!

 

[Susana]

YES, I swear, there will come a day when you are not bone tired!

I have a 10 yr old and an 11 yr old, and I am glad to report that dh and I are able to sleep wonderfully now...that is if no one is sick, then I am up a lot. Not because the kids are up, but because I am up looking at them a lot.

Never fear! I remember the years of no sleep. I wondered if I would feel dead all the time too. Now things are groovy here at sleepy time. This will happen for you all too!

 

[beanma]

have you had your thyroid checked? i've gotta run, but it's pretty common for women to have low thyroid levels following pregnancy. it's a simple blood test so not very painful. ask your dr at your next checkup or make an appt.

hth

p.s. check out http://thyroid.about.com/

 

[shantimama]

It does come...........but not necessarily as quickly as you would like. I had three children in three and a half years and we all co-slept. The fatigue was unbearable at times, especially with a little baby. I actually got used to being tired and it wasn't so bad once I no longer expected to feel anything different. (coping mechanism or insanity, I wonder?

: )

Each of my children began to sleep reliably through the night at about three and a half years of age, nursing still or not, in my bed or their own - seems like that was the age when they were developmentally ready for 10-12 hours of uninterrupted sleep, kind of like being ready to walk somewhere around one year old. My youngest has just started sleeping through most nights in the last couple of months. I actually find it a little disorienting to wake up in the morning without having been up in the night - it has been almost eight years since I have done that. The other night my little one woke up to nurse three or four times and I was a zombie yesterday. I am not used to it anymore.

What got me through was eating nutritiously (with a little chocolate added on the really bad days), drinking lots of water, lots of fresh air and exercise and going to bed early with my kids whenever I could. We also discouraged naps for the kids when they got to the point of napping late and then wanting to stay up late at night. A cranky toddler in the late afternoon was easier on everyone (including the toddler) than a cranky, exhausted, miserable mother for the night and following morning.

Hang in there!

 

[beanma]

just wanted to add to my reply now that i have a few minutes. i'm not clear on whether your exhaustion is due to not sleeping at night like the other mamas have posted about or just general exhaustion. if it's clear that it's a sleeping issue then there are ways to address that. check out the nightwaking and the family bed forum. we cosleep, but dd has always been a pretty good sleeper as long as she's in our bed.

on the thyroid thing, though, it _is_ pretty common after pregnancy. i am hypothyroid (low), but was before pregnancy. i'm pg now again and my medication has had to be adjusted several times. it can definitely produce bone numbing exhaustion and is worth getting checked out. when i was first diagnosed i just made an off hand comment to my dr about being tired. i didn't even think anything was wrong -- just making conversation, but she checked into it and diagnosed me and gave me a low dose of synthroid (synthetic thryroid hormone). it's one small pill once a day and does have any side effects for me, but does make the numbing exhaustion go away.

hth

 

[mamaduck]

My younger child is over 3 years now and things are better. There are still phases we go through where I feel exhausted like you describe, and I still don't feel 100%. But it *is* better and more tolerable.

I remember things lightening up with my first child when he was around 3 years old as well. Of course, then I went and got pg. again and it started all over! Heh.

With my kids, there was a real noticeable shift after age 3. They were potty trained and started spending some portion of the night in their own beds. They began to show interest in independent play (sometimes.) They made "friends" and their playmates helped to lighten my burden as well. Little by little mind and body begins to find resoration.

I'm still weary. But its as if I can see some clear light at the end of the tunnel. KWIM?

 

[oatmeal]

Oh dear lord. I won't feel normal again until my child is ten???

Kill me now, put me out my misery.

 

[Susana]

oatmeal, LOL, don't fear!

I guess the peaceful slumber started when my 2 were about 3 and 4 yrs old, so I have had several years of good sleepin!

 

[BusyMommy]

I have a 2.5 and 11 mos. old and I'm STILL sleep deprived.:LOL But, I know it'll end soon enough. My 2 y.o. is now really an easy keeper so I know Baby's headed that way, too.

One day...I will sleep alone in my bed allllll night long!

 

[CherylE]

I have a 4 year old, 3 year old, 2 year old and am 17 weeks pregnant. I'm still sleep deprived BUT up until getting pregnant we were doing pretty well over the last year as my ds has slept through 10-12 hours a night since weaning, my 4 year old generally can get herself up for the bathroom and goes back to bed on her own most nights, and my 2 year old only wakes once or twice in the night now.

Some kids are naturally better sleepers. My now 4 year old did not start sleeping through (or at least not waking ME up at night frequently) until this last year. My now 3 year old - started sleeping through solidly 9pm to 7 or 8 am every night starting around 9 months old. He only wakes now when sick or occasionally to use the bathroom now that he's potty training. My 2 year old still doesn't sleep through, but at least doens't wake for as often or as long as she used to even a couple months ago.

The other thing I would suggest is to get your thyroid levels checked. A friend of mine thought it was "normal" exhaustion from having children but it continued even after they were both sleeping through the night and in school (she still wasn't working) - she got tests done and found out she had a Thyroid problem. Once she got on the medication - she got her energy back.

 

[LiamnEmma]

I have two, co-sleepers both, although both weaned. They are 4 years and 2.5 years, and yes, the bone-weary fatigue is gone. I have to say, much earlier than I'd thought and expected! Also, they don't co-sleep all night. They each go to bed in their rooms, and then wander in as they see fit (usually about 11:00 for ds and who knows when for dd--she heads over to dh's side of the bed). But, I'm happy to report that for the last, I'd say, 4 months, I'm a much more rested gal. It gets better, it really does!

Leah

 

[mom at home]

Quote:

Originally posted by oatmeal My daughter is 20 months now and I am wondering from those mamas who have older kids... does it ever end? Are we ever ourselves again? Are we ever rested, regular adults again??? (

Yes, you will be rested again, I promise! My 2nd dd was a very, very determined nurser, esp. at night, and at 2.5 yrs was nursing ALL night. It's all a gradual process of course, but she turned 6 today and I've had several years of good sleep now. And I'm mourning the loss of her baby/toddler/little girl hood!

 

[USAmma]

I heard it gets better by age four. Still waiting to find out for sure! The toddler years are *hard* it's no joke.

We just moved dd to her own bed in her own room (she's weaned) and it's helped soo much. But during the day she's pretty demanding. It's getting easier as she approaches three and is more self sufficient and able to entertain herself for periods of time.

Darshani

 

[nuggetsmom]

I agree with beanma. Because I don't often feel mindnumbing exhaustion, but I did when my thyroid was low (and when DD was littler). Once I started taking synthroid I was AMAZED that I did not need to feel tired at 3 PM and that I could do something once I got home at night. Changed my life.
But so did having DD and I am still tired because she is only 2 and I am pg again. But not as tired as when I had low thyroid. So maybe I have a different perspective.

 

[Heavenly]

I sure hope it ends. My son was just starting to sleep better and then I added another one! What was I thinking??? I am on night 3 tonight of trying to nightwean my 11.5 month old because she is waking every hour and its gone past exhaustion to hysteria! I am literally totally zoned out and I don't even feel safe to look after my kids when I am this tired. Of course the night weaning is making me more tired because I have to sit beside he bed for hours trying to convince her she can go to sleep without nursing. Sometimes I think I'm nuts to want more kids! Just when she gets better I'll be starting over again. But c'est la vie!

 

[BusyMommy]

Quote:

Just when she gets better I'll be starting over again.

Yeah, isn't that crazy? The beginning of the end is in sight for us and I'm starting to think about #3.
ayayay

 

[normajean]

I seem to go in a cycle of feeling great and then suddenly being so tired I can hardly get through the day. It goes a few weeks on and a few weeks off. My son is 27 months, and is very demanding and high maintenance. He was and still is a good sleeper. He slept through the night at 3 weeks old and has since unless he is sick. However, the days are so exhausting and I have some sleep disorders as well. I could easily take a 2 hour nap every day if I could only fall asleep. Once I am asleep its very easy to wake me. I would love to sleep like the dead for one night! I bet I could go a week on that!