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Mamas, I could sure use a pep talk! Last mw appt. bumming me out...

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Hi mamas,

Here's an update on what's going on with me and the whole BP deal:

So, as I posted previously, 2 wks. ago, at around 30 wks., my BP started to go up and my ankles/hands started to swell. I had an appt. with my mw, we discussed what was going on and how it wasn't unexpected, and made a few decisions about how to proceed:
1. I would call up my backup OB and go on BP meds.
2. I would start seeing an acupuncturist and get regular prenatal massage.
3. I would increase my protein intake and drink more of my special pg tea (mw is a registered herbalist and made a blend just for my particular pg conditions.)
4. If I got to 36 wks. without developing any further symptoms and got the BP under control with meds, my homebirth could still proceed as planned. At 37 wks., she could even help "induce" me, if necessary (note: both of my full-term babies were born at exactly 37 wks. all on their own, so induction isn't likely necessary; my body just doesn't seem to cook babies until 40 wks.)

So I proceeded with the new game plan. Went on meds. Went to be poked at the acupuncturist
. Got kneaded by the masseuse. Drank nasty protein shakes and almost equally nasty cups of tea, lol.

I'm now almost 33 wks. and still hanging on!
I've had to up my BP meds twice now to keep my numbers at around 140/90 or less, the acupuncture isn't doing anything, but the massage is heavenly. Still wishing I could lose my tastebuds when drinking protein shakes and tea
. The swelling is largely gone, except for when I spend a long amount of time on my feet, then I get elephant ankles. I have no other symptoms. Baby Sophie is growing right on schedule and very active, doing great.

So why am I bummed out, you might ask? Because at my mw appt. this past week, she began hemming and hawing a bit regarding my birth plans. Now she says she really would prefer me to be at least 37 wks. along, not 36. And, oh, by the way, what does my BP usually run during labor? Because she now wants it to be in a certain range while I'm laboring, or she doesn't think it would be a good idea to hb. Although I really don't know what she expects, b/c if I'm in full-blown active labor, transition, or actually pushing and she decides my BP is too high, it's not like I'm going to be up for transporting THEN!

Okay, now I am NOT a very risk-taking kind of mama, especially when it comes to my health and that of my baby, but I'm also starting to feel like I'm being judged and found guilty before I've committed a crime!
The vibe I'm getting from her is that, while in THEORY, she was comfortable having me as a client, when faced with the REALITY of my situation, she's getting uncomfy. And instead of coming right out and saying, "I don't think you should have a hb," she's starting to place all these conditions on the hb, slowly making it impossible for me to fulfill them. I also don't feel that she is being very positive or supportive about my chances of a full-term birth anymore, since she has started using wording like, "If you get to..." I really don't think she thinks I'll still be pg at 37 wks.
And that's honestly the last thing I need from her right now, when I've got my own worries to deal with -- negativity is so hard to battle when it's coming at you from all sides!

I'm not sure how to proceed at this point. I've dealt with this EXACT same pg complication many times before, and I know how my body acts with it. And I'm doing fine right now health-wise, and really think it's likely I WILL make it to term with no further issues. But even if I do, I no longer have the confidence that I'll be having the hb I wanted. MW has said she will be my doula at the hospital if I have to be induced early, but I don't really feel like she is much of an advocate for me at the moment. Oh, and she won't be giving me any sort of refund if medical issues prevent me from having a hb, which I was fine with when I felt that that would only happen due to TRUE unavoidable medical issues (i.e. developing full-blown PE). Now that I sense her trying to "get out" of the hb, though, I'm not sure how I feel.

Ugh. I hate this!
I've had such a great relationship with her up until this point, and I don't want it to all go south now. Plus, I'm hormonal and anxious and that's not helping me be objective.

I'd love some input. How would you handle a situation like this? Should I just give up on the homebirth idea altogether now, so I won't continue to get my hopes up for something she doesn't intend to follow through with? Should I be blunt with her that I sense her discomfort and want to talk about it? Should I continue to advocate for a hb under the circumstances?

Thanks for listening!
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I would be blunt and talk about it with her because it is putting pressure and stress on you and affecting your relationship with her. Good luck!!
Wow, I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this

I would have a talk with her as well, to find out exactly how she feels about the likelihood of you going on to have a homebirth and such.

Personally, I know my hb mw's wouldn't go ahead with a homebirth if I had to go on BP meds. Usually by that time you've tried everything else, yk? I will say, though, that when my bp was higher at my visit a couple months ago they advised to eat more protein and take lots of calcium/mag (like 1500-2000 mg's a day!). I did both those things and it's really helped, so you might want to think about some calcium/mag supplementation.

You said you dealt with this last time, though, right? Since you know that you normally get higher bp in pg, maybe it's not such a huge worry and at least you have that experience to draw upon. Did you have to go on meds last time? Did your bp get higher in labor? How high does it go?

I guess my first bit of advice is talk to your mw, find out where she's coming from and what her honest opinion is. Then you can go from there as far as deciding whether to proceed with the hb or not. I would try the calcium/mag before giving up on your hb though.

I hope everything resolves for you and you get a beautiful homebirth!! Good luck!
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Originally Posted by maybebaby
I will say, though, that when my bp was higher at my visit a couple months ago they advised to eat more protein and take lots of calcium/mag (like 1500-2000 mg's a day!). I did both those things and it's really helped, so you might want to think about some calcium/mag supplementation.
I also take Kyolic Aged Garlic Extract and Barlean's Flax Seed Oil daily as well- that's keeping my BP in reign for the most part. Maybe you already tried it- but it's worked for me two pgs now so I wanted to suggest/second it!

I'm really sorry your mw is hemming around- is she a CPM and do yo have state laws outlining their care? Certain "conditions" are required to transfer care to an OB but if that is the case she needs to be upfront with you and also give you suggestions on what you can do to keep yourself in her care. To keep changing the requirements for you to homebirth is a red flag, so I hope you guys can get everything out in the open.
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I would definitely have a heart to heart with her. If she's already acting like this, I can't imagine that she would be very supportive of you during labor. It's really awful that she's making an already stressful situation even worse.
I really hope you get the birth you want.
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That's no good, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this situation mama.

I agree with the PPs. I hope things are able to work out for you in the end, keep us posted!
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Blunt is best. She may put conditions on you but you need to put your own on her as it sounds she is wimping out on you. I believe a woman knows her body best and your own intuition would tell you "hospital birth" JMO
I had blood pressure issues in this pregnancy too. I've been seeing a group of OB's, and they were concerned about the extreme fluctuations in the b/p. It came down to me just being neurotic and super antsy in the doctor's office, but i saw a maternal fetal specialist anyway, and got sucked into a billion "bio-physical profiles" and "growth measurements" yadda yadda. He wanted to put me on meds, and I refused.

Once I had it out with both sets of doctors, I've stopped seeing the m-f, and had a very long talk with my OB's about how I felt. Basically, what it came down to, sadly, was that they felt the need to practice "defensive" care, so as to protect their practice.

How high is your b/p? Mine would shoot up to 120/100, and then drop right back down to 90/60 within 10-15 mins of hearing the babe's heartbeat and knowing everything was okay. Really, I would point out that all this is doing for you is making you stress, which i'm sure, as a consequence, is raising your blood pressure.

I would approach her with specific questions. For example, if you're in the crux of active labor and your pressure reads high, what would they do if you were in the hospital that they can't do at home? Is she leaning towards the idea of a section being in the potential plan?

You know your body, Mama. I would tell her straight out that you want an honest convo. with her, and lay ALL the cards on the table, so to speak. You being uncomfortable in a hospital environment isn't going to do a damn thing for your pressure, know what I mean?
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