[Potty Diva]

Well, there was some talk of playgroups threads and I thought- hey! that's what we have finding your tribe for right? So..for all you mamas of babes born in 2001 sign in here.

I NEED to talk to other mamas about development because sometimes I have questions about Kailey.

She is in speech therapy, so I am ok about that. But about physical development. How should she be? Should she run confidently without tripping up or falling? What about skipping rope or hopping? I don't know any 2001 mamas to share notes with so this would help!

Kailey was born Feb 20, 2001.

Anticipating replies...

 

[Potty Diva]

Kailey's dance recital was this evening. It was pretty neat. She is very methodical about things and in practice would do one move over and over until she got it. it was no different this evening. So cute. She also decided to chase a feather that had escaped from her costume around the stage. I was tearing up I laughed so hard. I am so glad she enjoyed herself. Not many digital photos turned out well. Here is a taste:

Her tap costume (they were pigs) danced to "This Little Piggy"
http://pic2.picturetrail.com/VOL982/...0/99185466.jpg
http://pic2.picturetrail.com/VOL982/...0/99185415.jpg
http://pic2.picturetrail.com/VOL982/...0/99184201.jpg
And her ballet number (they were poodles) danced to a song I have never heard before

http://pic2.picturetrail.com/VOL982/...0/99184665.jpg
http://pic2.picturetrail.com/VOL982/...0/99184574.jpg

 

[Potty Diva]

bump

 

[Potty Diva]

bumping again

 

[melissa17s]

Your daughter is so cute! Great pictures.

Ds was born in March of 2001. Being 4 has been such a change! He plays different, thinks different, and it is amazing.

I am interested in why your dd goes to a speech therapist, if you are willing to share. My dd went to one for an sensitivity disorder and eating. My family has been pressuring me to find out if ds needs to see one because he often stutters and omits syllables in his words. I have been putting off taking to the ped. about it because I think that he mainly does it when he is excited and as he grows, he will learn to control his excitement or maybe his speech... anyway.

 

[Houdini]

My son Nicholas was born June 2, 2001. He also sees a speech therapist. He was born with complete unilateral cleft lip and complete cleft palate. He has just turned four, but thinks he's eight. He says this all the time. He is very different than all my others were at this age. He doesn't play with toys for his age group and prefers the older kids stuff. He is potty trained, but only when naked.

I guess we should look into a nudist colony. :LOL
He has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. We are homeschooling starting in the fall (our first year). Not sure what else to say about him. Looking forward to meeting you all.

 

[lauraess]

Hi pottyDiva! hello Others too!!!! My Anna was born in Jan. 2001. Age 4 has beeen sooo neat!!
My dd is also in dance. her recital is on fathers day! All I hope is that she has fun!!!
I think personally, and I've worked in the past with therapists, both speech and physical, That a lot of times certain things work out. being quick to jump on Problems is good, but some are things that are just going to change with time. if your dd is sometimes tripping up or cant hop WELL I wouldnt be concerned. Now, If the tripping is a lot and she Can not hop more than once on one foot I'd be concerned. But I am no professional. Just my educated guess. Anna can not jump rope and she is otherwise very coordinated.

L

 

[calngavinsmom]

HI there Mommas! I have a ds, Callum, who was born in November 2001. He runs well and can hop on one foot but.....he also is very, very clumsy(he had no chance both his Dad and I are too :LOL ) The poor kid is always covered in bruises. I think he just doesn't pay attention. He will try to walk and talk(he never stops talking!!!) at the same time and will run straight into a wall

He also has very big narrow feet, I think that contributes to it as well. As far as speech goes, he is trying to enunciate(sp) more now, but there is still a lot that I can't quite make out.

IMO, and it is just IMO, people expect a lot out of kids now and I know how it is to worry and be concered for your childs development but I think if given time, most of these "issues" will resolve themselves

I so LOVE the poodles dance costume! She looks soooo cute in that

Great idea for this thread!

Take care,
Tara

 

[Copper]

Your pictures were great, what an adorable daughter you have. She is positively beaming in her pictures!!

Dd turned 4 in March and I can honestly say from just a couple months ago she was a bit unsteady standing on one foot and putting the other by the knee (ballet-type move)- well she is doing it fine now so I have noticed a big increase in her balance and coordination. But I was told early on she had good "hand to eye" coordination when she ws 3 for her age.

Speech; I also wondered about that and took her to one of those school screenings a few months ago for the heck of it and they happened to have a speech therapist there and she asked her to say a few things and then told me I have nothing to worry about; it will get better and clearer and she was only just 4. She told me if I had any concerns and it was closer to starting school to call her. Now school for her (K) would not be until next fall (unles we homeschool).
I relaxed about it and it has gotten much better, though sometimes now she is sooo excited she talks too fast.

She is in a gymnastics/tumbling type class for the last month and had not been to one since she was 2. We are in a viewing box, glassed in and I saw them put her on the HIGH balance beam and was a bit concerned .....she walked that thing like no big deal forward, backward and side to side. Then she got to get off and ring a bell for her "accomplishment".

That said, I will keep an ear out for the speech and mostly look for other people to understand her which is going much better.

 

[RyvreWillow]

Hey everyone

Ryvre was born October 29, 2001. I can't believe he's almost 4! I feel so old, haha. He has a nearly-two-year-old sister (Willow) and another brother or sister due in October, but i admit that i still kinda see him as my baby, lol.

My son *probably* has a speech problem according to most standards; not everyone can understand everything he says, but i'm not worried about it. We're unschoolers, and believe every kid will learn what they need to know if given a chance at their own pace, so this is no different. He wasn't potty-trained until he was 3, but once he did it, there was no regression at all, so i consider it a sucess!

Another reason we're homeschooling is that here, you can't start school unless you're 5 by September 1...that means Ryvre won't be in Kindergarten until 2007! I remember how frustrating that was for me, so as soon as he's ready, we're going for it.

 

[Potty Diva]

OH YEAH!! I have to say i am so daggone excited to see replies to this thread. It had been the Jan-March 2001 playgroup, but I guess that was way to specific. I like this whole year idea better and it looks like you all do as well.

Melissa: We first were interested in speech therapy because at 17 months Kailey still only said mama and daddy. I talked to our first PED and he didn't see an issue. Then, and this is just crazy me, I started looking at children who were much younger than Kailey who nearly spoke in clear sentences. We still sat back and just waited for her to grow and mature (speech wise). Last year a therapist for another child in Kailey's preschool class came by to talk to me about this student and I asked if she could diagnose Kailey, and she did right there. She said she had, and I can't recall the name, but in layman's terms it is called "backing" and also had what is called "constinant deletion" where she leaves off the end of words. So, we started with her the next week. Kailey's aunt (on Mark's side) and her daughter both experienced the same condition as children (though I didn't learn of this until we talked to them about Kailey).

I am thinking now that she will just learn over time and that a lot of times excitement exasperates it. Being unable to communicate even at 4 yrs old is trying for her, and she often acts out with hitting because she cannot say quickly enough what she wants from her friends. So in a nutshell, this is why we have speech therapy. She has come such a long way and catches on to her therapists requests quickly. She says Kailey's language is amazing, it's just the intelligibility that needs improving

Ok, the little one is up from her evening siesta, I'll be back later to comment on everyone's posts. So GREAT seeing you all here!

 

[Potty Diva]

Mark and I are feeling so helpless.

Kailey's behavior is just out of control.

She is acting in such uinappropriate manners. If a child takes a toy she sees as hers, she will hit them or scratch them. She has scrathed and hit her teacher a few times, but is relentlesss to those in her class who try to play with her when she wants to be alone. She does not use her words first, but strikes out. Like a knee jerk reaction.

We have tried time outs, spanking (which we do not use now, cause DUH it doesn't work) taking special toys away, and denying privileges. What ever we say will be a consequence we follow through on. Still NO change.

We are just beside ourselves. WHAT should I do? Monday I am going to call her doctor to get a referral to see a psychologist. Mark thinks she is really messed up,and I am beginning to think we have done this.

Why? Neither one of us can argue in a constructive manner. We throw things, freak out on each other and their is very little respect. We try to change but it seems like it doesn't work and we go right back to our old familiar ways.

I spend time with Kailey doing Kailey things, which I enjoy, but she still wants more more more. I am about to go crazy.

YES, we did this to her, and now we want to know how to change. Is a psychologist a good idea?

 

[melissa17s]

Potty Diva, thanks for sharing info about your daughter's speech. I think sharing behavior has been one of the toughest things we have had to work through with ds so far, and he just really at the cusp of understanding. To be honest, I think your dd sounds normal as far as being pushy for thing she wants. It is really a huge adjustment to share with others at school when previously everything she probably had access to was hers. When dd was born, ds got the first inkling that world did not just evolve around him. Preschool was a struggle for ds, and until the last month, he really did not even play directly with other kids. Instead he would play parallel in his own world, and when he wanted a toy, it rarely considered waiting or asking for turns. Throwing seems to come to ds very naturally, and we don't model that behavior at home unless we are "playing ball" outside. Yet on a regular basis I take away offending toys the get chucked through the air.

We got a notice in May that ds had bit the one boy he was identifying as his friend twice at preschool. This boy had also been in trouble for similar offending behavior. I think kids sometimes try to find a behavior that effectively works to get them what they want, and then use it until the consequences of the behavior are undesirable. One of the strategies his preschool uses is to sing instructions or give them a rhythm to their words. It is quite impressive because it generally works. He stopped biting at school and has not done it at home.

I was thinking, perhaps you and your dh should consider adult conseling or family counseling instead of going to a psychologist for your dd. Children react to their environment, and if the two of you are struggling to communicate, then she may be exhibiting the behavior that the two of you model. Besides helping you and your dh have better interactions, they could also help some with parenting and developmental issues. Ds is very sensitve to my mood changes, and he usually winds up in response. He is so much more likely to yell, scream, or tantrum when I am showing signs of fatigue or stress.

One last thought, does your state or community offer any parenting programs? Ours offered one called Parents as Teachers, and we participated for a period. Once a month a child development worker would come into our house and assess ds and dd's development. She would then give recommendations of activities that would be age appropiate and ideas for how to work through more difficult situations.

 

[RyvreWillow]

i agree that if you seek therapy, it should be a whole-family thing, or at least find a child therapist that treats it as such. Saying "yeah, your kid has an anger problem" won't help you out much, but teaching you and your hubby to be better models for your daughter's behavior would

My hubby and i try not to fight in front of the kids, but as you know, sometimes that's about impossible! i think it helps if you try to make up in front of them too, and explain that mommy and daddy were mad at each other, but you still love each other.

My kids don't seem to have any trouble getting along with other kids, but having siblings really helps with that. The little struggles they have with each other all day, every day, seem to lessen the tension when they're around others, lol.

 

[lauraess]

I totally agree with 'family therapy" and hope you can find a really good therapist. it is hard to find them some times. so , ask around. One thing that would be great about doing it that way as a family is than it wouldnt look like "kailely has a problem"-- more so: " we have a problem and we will work on it together."
I know this must be difficult. Sharing is very hard for some kids it seems. more often it is especially difficult for onlies. Have faith and love your little girl. I'm sure it is not as bad as you might beleive

~L

 

[Potty Diva]

Whew! Thank you so much for your replies.

Ok, so here is where we have started.
Well, first wanted to agree that this isn't a Kailey "problem" but a family one, and YES I want her to grow up healthy, mature, self assured, and confident AND know how to deal, work through frustrating aituations without freaking out (me).

We have taught her inappropriate behaviors, and I KNOW they are not unchangeable, it is just going to take some time to change. They weren't learned overnight and aren't going to change overnight either.

Ok, so.... not only are we making all efforts to be respectful to each other in daily conversation (I am a royal bitch to Mark sometimes), but we are doing som elimination as well. Starting for two weeks we are taking out all fried, salted, sugared, and junk food. We are going back on our 8:45 pm bath and 9:30 pm bedtime, AND our 7:45 a.m. wake up times (last night and today went GREAT! because of it- she was her joyful laughing self this evening as we played butterfly balloons). We are also going to be eating earlier. I have made a schedule of come home, relax, get settled in, and start supper (Kailey will love to help). This evening she started screaming that she didn't like what I was cooking and wanted crackers. As usual Isaid we could have crackers when we finished dinner. She through the dining room chair. I got down on her level and said FIRMLY, "We DO NOT throw chairs when we are frustrated." We use our words. You can say, "mommy I am frustrated that I can't have crackers now." BUT you may not throw the chair". She got huffy but stopped. She tried to get yogurt right before we dished up dinner and started screaming, again I calmy said, "I hear your words Kailey, you want yogurt, so lets eat dinner so we can eat our yogurt." I avoided saying NO, and instead focused on what she could do. She still screamed and I said to her, "I'm sorry you are upset that you need to eat dinner before you get crackers, but I cannot stay in the kitchen if you are going to scream at me. Use your inside voice and I can talk to you." She calmed down and asked nicely for some water. I CHEERFULLY got her some.

Right now she and Mark are reading in bed and I am breathing a sigh of relief that we made it through today.

I reminded Mark (while Kailey was screaming) that if he felt frustrated (I could see it on his face) that he had the option of walking away and coming back when he felt more calm. I also made a real effort not to "protect" Kailey from him and trusted him to be appropriate, and he was. Ok, so I am like, a control freak

I know this is just the beginning and it is going to get worse before it gets better, in fact 5 days from now you should all be expecting a whopper of a post about a stressful ballistic day, and hopefully a note saying we made it thorugh that one, unscathed.

Thanks again ladies and I of course will keep you updated.

Oh, regarding therapy. Kailey gets medicaid, but we do not. I don't want to make this a kailey issue and I think it would if we went to a psychologist for her. I called her doctor and she suggested the things I have mentioned above. She also suggested not going anywhere while she is getting used to her routine, for at least the first two weeks, and i think that sounds fine.

 

[lauraess]

Potty diva: That really sounds great! You will do fine, I can see you have what it takes to train yourselves to deal better... Ahhhh you are not alone in that, that's for sure. My dh and I are Not the best communicators and I have me one heck of a temper.
Good luck and yes, keep us posted.
How are all the others?
~L

 

[RyvreWillow]

Teresa, you're not a control freak, you just have a firm grasp on the situation

My hubby and i clash on the discipline issue sometimes too; we have the same basic philosophy, but when it comes to specifics, like, the duration of a particular time-out, we sometimes argue (i think 2 minutes is good for a 2 year old, or 4 minutes for a 4 year old, etc, while the thinks 10 minutes covers it all!), and the kids don't take us seriously *sigh*

Is anyone else homeschooling? Even just for preschool?

 

[Copper]

I guess you could say I have been "homeschooling" for preschool. Dd has never been in daycare/preschool. She did go to a "kiddie city" type program through the highschool last fall they go for an hour and a half 3 x a week; Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from September until before Thanksgiving.

This year she will go in the fall and then the next spring is her age group too and it is only $25.00. We are not positive whether we will be doing public school, private or home and I am getting stressed out about it, we will be running out of time to decide.

 

[RyvreWillow]

lol, it is getting close to time

It's kind of a non-issue around here; we know we'll be homeschooling, because we grew up here, and know how inferior the local school is, lol. Also, kindergartners have to be 5 by September 1st (i don't know if it's just here, or everywhere), and Ryvre is an October baby, so that puts him there in 2007-2008, but he's already showing signs that he might be ready even this year. No problem there though, because i'd really like to have a say in his education anyway, so i'll just start covering whatever he's ready for, and go from there.