[ErinsJuneBug]

I feel like I have come to a cross roads and I wanted to get some thoughts on how others have handled this. DD is 3 and nurses very sporadically. I WOTH and there are often several days between her nursing. There are times when it’s sweet to nurse her - but lately I’ve been trying to avoid it and am just feeling very done. For the last few days I have tried to switch up our routine as to avoid the situations where she normally asks to nurse - for example I read her a book before bed while she was in her bed, not in a rocking chair..etc.. She didn’t ask to nurse last night, but asked to nurse this morning and I told her "not right now, maybe later" and she was fine with it. I just put her down for a nap and when she asked I did nurse her, but only because it has been a few days and I felt bad. I think if I told her no she would have been fine with it.<br><br>
I think I WOULD just wean her if I didn’t have all these what if scenarios in the back of my mind....we are gearing up to ttc so I keep thinking "what if I'm over-due, it would be nice to have a nursing toddler." or "what if I’m super engorged, I’ve heard that older nurslings can help with that." or "what if DD gets the flu this winter and won’t eat or drink anything, I should probably nurse through one more winter."<br><br>
I don’t know what to do; I don’t even know what I WANT to do. I'm just really feeling done, but I also feel guilty, but I also feel like 3 years is a HUGE accomplishment and she is showing signs that she is ok with not nursing anymore.<br><br>
Anyone been here?

 

[bc1995]

I remember feeling that way. I say keep going. She is only nursing every few days, and that will likely to continue to get less and less. You have made it through all the really trying times. It is so nice for it to end knowing it was their choice when to nurse for that very last time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[velcromom]

My ds went from every few days to once or twice a week, to every few weeks and was basically finished at three and half. He'd ask about once a month or so. So IME, you may find she is about to drop more nursing sessions on her own pretty quickly.<br><br>
I don't think it's really necessary to make any kind of decision, it's perfectly ok to go along day by day doing what you feel at the time, because she's old enough to understand if you need to say, later sweetie, or, if you would feel better using this method you could always say, "we could nurse or we could _____ first, which would you like?" then it is up to her and you can be sure it's her choice.<br><br>
I went through a few phases of nursing aversion and had no hesitation to ask ds to give me a moment when he asked and I didn't feel positive abou it. It's so much more of a two way street at this age. If you are ready, and she is showing signs she's ok too, I'd let it naturally ebb away with the kind of behind-the-scenes encouragement you are already doing(like avoiding nursing triggers) if you feel so inclined.

 

[wombatclay]

Hugs mama! Three years really is a huge gift to your child, and an amazing accomplishment in today's world... no matter what you decide, there is no need to feel guilty! You rock! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
My slightly more than 3yo dd1 nurses 3-4x a day... I did limit (she'd nurse more if she could) but I was starting to feel touched out since I'm also nursing 1yo dd2. If you are considering nursing during pregnancy you may want to read Adventures in Tandem Nursing... there are a lot of pluses to nursing during pregnancy and tandem nursing, but it can be tough, and if your hormones/emotions get as crazy as mine did... well. Late pregnancy may not be the best time to try a sensitive/gentle weaning process. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I found that for my own health and our family's balance I needed to limit the number of times dd1 nurses each day and the duration of each nursing session. Since it sounds like your little one is ok with a "not now" request, perhaps just keep it there? And if you need to limit the duration maybe that would give you a little more space as well? When I'm feeling "ok" we sing a very slow ABC, and when I'm feeling more "touched out" the ABC song goes pretty quickly!<br><br>
But whatever you decide, Adventures in Tandem Nursing is a great book, and How Weaning Happens is another one that may help you sort out some of your feelings about this process. And congratulations mama! Three years is something to be proud of! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[milkybean]

I remember feeling that way.<br><br>
And now DS is 4 and 2 months old, and he still nurses sometimes, and it's all fine. It helps him be healthier (how will I help him through his little colds after he weans?) and it helps him get to sleep some nights (5 seconds of nursing and the little guy is snoring). What's not to like about that?<br><br>
4 was my external age that I pretty much "had to" get to, b/c that's how old I was when my mom weaned me (once my brother self-weaned at 2, my mom had to go back to work, and she forcibly weaned me for the second time), and I had tons of my mom's friends making sure I gave DS what my mom gave me. And since it was when I was 4 that I started getting sick all the time, I definitely can see that there are huge health benefits to continuing to be nursed.<br><br>
But then he turned 4 and...nothing changed. And it didn't matter. It was all good.<br><br>
Strength!