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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We just found out that we are having another girl! My daughter will be 6 when this baby is born. She is my daughter from my first marriage and she is still in close contact with her father. This baby will be my husbands first child.

Im worried because I love my daughter so much. I cant imagine being able to love another girl as much as I love her. I was always worried about that second child thing of being able to love another child as much as my first but it just seems exacerbated when they are two children of the same sex. I know Im being a crazy pregnant hormonal freak but can anyone reassure me? Tell me what its like to have 2 children of the same gender? Do you think the big age difference will make any kind of difference?

Thanks for listening.
 

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Can't speak about the age difference deal b/c mine are all two years apart but I've got three girls and I love them all the same but in different ways (if you have siblings your mom probably told you that and its true
). Its pretty normal to be worried about loving that second one as much as the first--I went thru that until the day DD#2 was born and as soon as I got her in my arms I fell madly in love with her
Your heart just grows and makes more room
 

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Do you have more than 1 friend? Know more than 1 person of the same gender? Its the same thing. I have 2 girls and 5 boys. I love each one differently but the same. Love doesn't divide for each person that fills your life - it multiplies.

I know a lot of people fear the age gap. I can tell you that it will most likely be fine. If you prepare her enough and make sure she isn't left out once the baby comes. I was 5 when my first sibling was born. I loved being a big sister. We were very close. Now my kids are close together so I have gotten to see both side and both have their advantages and disadvantages. They are equally wonderful in their own way.
 

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Not in your DDC, but...

My two boys are almost five years apart. The age difference is fantastic! I didn't originally plan to have such a gap in ages, but I'm glad it worked out that way. I love my second just as I love my first. They're alike in many ways, but also very different in ways. They're two different beings, both terrific, both totally lovable, both exasperating at times.

I had post-partum depression with both, plus PTSD with my second (traumatic birth) so bonding was more difficult with him. I worked hard at it, and now you couldn't tell that there were ever any issues.

With any second child, things are different. You've already gone through birth. You already know the amazement at what your body can do, at how you can create a new being. You've already experienced a child's firsts. So there's not the same sort of amazement and wonder the second time around. But, you're equipped with so much more knowledge, so much more wisdom. You're not "making it up as you go along" to the same extent. You don't make the same mistakes as you did with your first. You're more secure and less overwhelmed with how to deal with your child because you now know what to expect. There are difficulties with having two children, because now you have less extra time - time you may not have even realized that you had before. So, there are definitely stresses involved in figuring out how to balance two children rather than just one. But, the love is definitely there, and you want to make sure both kids know it as fully as possible. And, as your baby grows, just as with your first, your love changes from being general unconditional love for your baby, to love for who she is becoming as a person.

Congratulations! And good luck!
 

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Two kids of the same gender are still entirely different people. You will love and enjoy each of thier individual traits as they go through thier stages in life. There is lots of room in your heart to love more than one kid, even from two different marriages.

So, in short, yes, you're just being a crazy hormonal preggo lady
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks so much for "talking me down" it really helped me to read all your responses. I realized that for some weird reason when I found out we were having a girl, I felt like I was going to lose my daughter. I realize that the special only child bond we have probably will be lost but hopefully replaced by something different.

Also, My brother and I are 6 years apart and when he was born my life changed. He became the center of my parents universe. (he was their first child together, I had a different dad) and I was shoved in the corner. I guess Im (DUH) afraid of unconcsiouly repeating my parents pattern. It all seems so obvious typed out like this but I guess I needed to type it out to figure it out.

Im glad to hear the age difference has been cool too.

Thanks for helping me figure stuff out. Its been a crazy emotional pregnant woman roller coaster the past 24 hours!
 
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