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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not sure this will take off, but I have some particular challenges because of our kids' spacing. What I mean is - I am subscribed to Life with a Babe, Toddlers, Chidren, and Pre-teens/Teens
They are one week, 2.5, 9 and 11.5.

Do you have a big space between kids, or just a lot of kids spanning the ages? Do you feel stretched to meet the very different needs of different aged kids? I'd love to hear some examples and solutions, or the ways you've dealt with it philisophically, in actual practice and emotionally (as in, will I always feel guilty that one or the other of the kids is being short-changed?)
 

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I have a 20 month old, a 3.5 year old, and a 19 year old. Things are quite a bit more settled down now, especially since my oldest is moving out next month to go to university. When I was pregnant with the middle one, it was tough because my oldest was 15 and was in that stage where she needed me to drive her everywhere all the time. She was just starting to date and to spend late nights out with friends, and it about drove me into the grave, I swear! I was sooo tired iwth the pregnancy and all hormonal and stuff, and I was just hanging on trying to manage everything (I work full time out of the home PLUS I was working on my college degree at the time).

When I was pregnant with the third one my oldest was driving so that took a big load off of me, physically. Emotionally, though, I was still a wreck with the stress of my newly-driving and mobile and dating oldest, and my 2-year old middle one. Fortunately, my husband is very active in parenting (he is the SAHP) and he carried much of the load in the early days with the two youngest. My oldest still needed quite a bit of my attention for help with homework, clothing, shopping, working the computer, etc.

Things, as I said, are much more tame now. My oldest is like a second mother to the younger two and the three of them are fairly self-sufficient among themselves for a good part of the time. I will miss my oldest so much when she moves out, but at least she will be in the same town so we will see her every weekend.

I think this is a great idea for a tribe! Thanks for starting it.
 

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13, almost 11, and 2 1/2 here...there are little strains...the youngest doesn't realize he can't just GO like the older two do. But I have to say it's actually EASIER this time around. The big kids are tons of help.
 

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my kidlets are 13, 7 and 3. not a huge space, but especially lately it has not been the easiest. i am feeling "stretched" when normally i just roll with it. and honestly, things are (usually) fairly peaceful around here. what are the issues with your family? one of mine is that my oldest is smack dab in the middle of puberty (moodiness strikes at any time), my middle son is a bouncing ball
and looks up to big brother, wants to do whatever he is doing, oldest gets annoyed. the youngest wants to do everything the older two are doing, oh and then she wants to go to the wading pool when the other two are like "no way". LOL
just a small sample
like i said, usually it is fine, but lately my balancing act is falling short!
 

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I'm subscribing. DS1 is 13, dd is 3, and ds2 turned one on Wednesday.

I find that I'm usually so consumed with the demands of looking after the two younger ones that I think ds1 just makes things easier (helping with his siblings)...and then I realize how much time is used on his homework, coordinating his social activities with our family plans, etc. It really is a very different situation from what most parents than I know can relate to.

Not much to say right now, but will contribute more later. I'm glad you started this thread!
 

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One problem I encounter somewhat frequently, is my oldest, 19, prepares her own meals and snacks and does her own grocery shopping. Unfortunately, when I was a single mom raising her, I didn't model the best eating habits.
: Consequently, she sometimes has 'junk food' during the day but my dh and I are pretty vigilant with keeping the younger ones exposure to foods that are natural, minimally processed, and organic whenever possible. They see older dd eating chips and Oreos etc and they want some too. But I don't feel it is right for me to forbid those things to older dd since I allowed them during all of her growing up years.

So far we have an understanding that older dd is to consumer those things out of sight of the younger ones but sometimes she slips and forgets. Plus, they are old enough to know those things are in the house and so they nag for them.
It seems hypocritical to let her have them and not the younger ones, but it also seems hypocritical to forbid those things to my 19 yo at this point ....
 

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Sign me up!!!

I have a 12 y/o, 5 y/o, 2 y/o and new baby due in September. The gap between the 12 & 5 y/o is much more noticable now and its sad in a way because the 12 y/o is getting out of 'play mode' and my 5 y/o wants to play with her all of the time.

I'm really really not looking forward to dealing with dating, driving, etc. while having small children as well.

I guess we'll take it day by day.
 

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How cool! I was just thinking that I wish there was a board for those with multiple ages! I have 13yo ds, a 5yo dd and a 2yo dd - They all get along really well, really! Almost TOO well. The oldest loves to play (see tickle, chase, toss, annoy) the 5yo who in turn LOVES to tattle on her big brother. Who then bugs him non-stop - oh, yea...lots of fun...
!

I have a question for you all - do you find most of your friends have kids of one particular age group??
 

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PancakeGoddess, didn't I just join one of your tribes the other day?

I'm the other Amy with 4 boys who are in multiple age ranges.

Mine are almost-2, 5, 8, and almost-10. But the almost 2year old has delays, and is still very much in Babyland. My 5 year old needs other 4-6 year olds to play with, and the 8 and 9 year olds are identical in abilities but opposite in interests. I feel pulled in 4 directions, most of the time, and homeschooling is crazy! The weirdest thing is nursing and diapers, and tween talk, all at the same time. Weird for me, I mean.

If we're all in the big backyard with each other and everybody's friends, life is easy.
 

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I have a 7-year-old, an almost 3-year-old, a 7-month-old and am expecting again. So I visit I'm Pregnant, Life With a Baby, Toddlers and the Childhood Years.
 

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I'll join!

I have a full range of ages.

DD-16, DD-11, DS-10, DD-8, DS-5, DD-4, DS-2

So I range from diapers to highschool, with all the ages in between. Not to mention that I have them spaced girl-girl-boy-girl-boy-girl-boy. So I get to deal with all sorts of hormones and testosterone!

Plus, I homeschool them, with grades spaced from pre-K to 10th!

So much fun here!
:
 

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This very subject has been on my mind so much lately. We want to TTC again soon but with my kids age spans it feels really complex to me.

My dd is 15, my ds is 8 & my baby ds is 8 mos.

We homeschool & just moved to a new state a few weeks ago so I'm busy helping them all find new friends & activities. My dd's at the age where I have to drive her around all over the place, she has a boyfriend & has drama amongst her friends I like to spend time talking with her about. Plus she wants to do things like paint her room purple, learn to drive, take drama classes, etc etc....

My 8 yr old is a busy little homeschooler who loves math & science & always has lots of questions. This year we'll learn cursive & do lots of science projects. He's extremely social & is happiest when he gets out to play with other kids as often as humanly possible (he regularly reminds me that he wishes he had a twin to play with).

And the baby is just busy being a baby & taking in the world. But y'know, I carry him everywhere all day & have to lug him in & out of his car seat which he hates & have to take time to sit & nurse him a zillion times a day.

SO. *When* exactly would be the best time for us to conceive the next little person?? I just can't decide!
I'm leaning towards soon (as DP is) because it would be so much easier & more fun for the baby to have a playmate like my 8 yr old always wishes he has, & it would be SO much easier to homeschool 2 kids close in age than 2 kids several years apart in age.

BUT, I don't want to take away from my older kids! I'd be all pregnant & exhausted & not want to drive them to their endless activities...... but DP reminds me that my oldest IS on the very verge of being much more independent, she can start taking the buses & the train, etc.

So, I'm going to stop using your lovely new tribe as my personal ranting space now.


I'd love to hear more about how you all balance all your different aged kids' different activities & interests.

Now I have to go help my teen dye her hair blue while the baby is asleep & my 8 yr old fell asleep on the dining room floor instead of eating his fruit so he could have some birthday cake ("no junk food until you eat something healthy"!)

Oy.
:
 

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I belong in this tribe, I have a 14 yo ds and a 1 yo dd. Will post more later.

Shay
 

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Can you just automatically subscribe me to all your tribes PG?


Here's my boys ages: 16, 12, 3 1/2 and 16 months.

Some days I think how wonderful it is - the older boys are really helpful and the little ones just adore their big brothers. They are getting to really have a blast at holidays watching the job on the younger ones' faces. It's really sweet.

Other days I think how hard it is - I would like to be able to go to some of the older boys activities and just watch - not have to chase the younger ones around. I'd like to be able to drive them to events without having to cram the little ones in the car too or work around their nap times.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by dukeswalker
I have a question for you all - do you find most of your friends have kids of one particular age group??
Yea, this is true for me. It is difficult to socialize because they aren't really planning to do things that are safe/appropriate with toddlers and babies anymore. On the other hand, the friends I've started making with babies don't really do anything interesting enough to bring along my big boys. And they're not big enough to stay home alone, either. So it stinks that way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by townmouse
PancakeGoddess, didn't I just join one of your tribes the other day?
.
I've never started any tribes before and now this week suddenly two of them...
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty
Plus, I homeschool them, with grades spaced from pre-K to 10th!

So much fun here!
:
In this case, you must have *something* to suggest for me wrt getting book work done with a loud toddler around. How do you help your bigger kids with academics?
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by HelloKitty
Can you just automatically subscribe me to all your tribes PG?
heh. This is my tricky reverse-stalking method. I just lure you in and make you think you're following me.


And I can SOOO relate to the big kids' events. Who *knew* I'd love to watch 11yo soccer?? But I do! And I can't!!! wahhhh. Hoping this fall, the 2yo will understand a little more about sticking around. I work my butt off to pack fun stuff for him.
 
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