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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The other UC thread got me thinking. I kind of have fantasies of an accidentally on purpose UC. It really is other people (inlaws, etc.) that I haven't wanted to deal with that has led me to a midwife-homebirth instead. But what I don't get is why people get all upset with the idea of "what if the midwife doesn't get there on time"? I say, so what? I almost hope she doesn't! I'd be glad for her to show up and cut the cord, etc. But I can't see why people don't understand the wish for ultimate privacy and to not have to worry about other people. I can't even fathom having to think about going to the hospital, when to leave, not too early, not too late, then the car ride, then getting checked in... It's cool if it's your thing, but I just don't think I'd cope well at all.

The even bigger issue for me that I'm also thinking about is how I'm supposed to manage labor -- When it starts, I want to just start doing my hypnobirthing stuff and let the world go away, but I have to a) make sure it isn't false labor, time contractions while simultaneously ignoring them so I don't get too focused on them, then b) call DH if he's at work, then c) call midwife's apprentice (who I really really like and want there if anybody, but who lives far away so needs early notice) d) call midwife, then e) start thinking about setting things up if I can -- birth tub, bed sheets, etc. And then finally, if I can pull it off, there's f) do some fun project like make bread or cookies or something. I mean, I could just call DH and make him deal with everything else, or I could get all of that done in an hour if I let someone else set up the birth tub, but it just seems like a lot to think about and make sure is logistically on track with when I'm contracting. YK?

My fantasy is to just climb in the bathtub all alone with a bunch of pillows and writhe and moan and breathe for a while, then squeeze the kid out onto a towel. I don't even fantasize about the water, just the enclosed space of the tub. Is that so wrong?
 

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Couple of things:
can you set up the tub beforehand? I'm thinking of doing that because I just don't know how this labor will go. I had OODLES of time with prodromal labor on my hands with my first, but who knows if it will be that way this time.

Do you have all of your delivery sheets and supplies ready to go? Does DH know where they are? Delegate that to him. I gave DH a tour of the box last week, because if I'm really in labor, I'm going to be useless to help with that stuff.

And again, delegate the other phone calls to him if you can. Chances are your m/w will want to talk to you to make sure it's really labor, but they can deal with the logistics first.

I think you can have it both ways (if you truly want the m/w there)...Just let DH know what's going on and climb in that tub!

The other thing is, I wouldn't stress over timing ctx...not sure how your m/w feels about that, but I know mine with my first was more concerned about how you were doing through the ctx, and how intense they were vs. the spacing. When you can't talk through them and you HAVE to use your coping techniques to deal, that's when to start thinking about calling. If you're baking cookies, it's way too soon.


I do know how you feel...the sheet my m/w gave me about supplies, etc, had a little info on what to do if the baby arrives before the m/w and my mom said "I'll be calling 911, that's what I'll be doing!"
: Hopefully if that happens it will be before my MOM shows up too because I do not want paramedics on my doorstep.
 

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Do you have close friend or relative nearby that could come over and take care of tub/sheets/phone calls? That way you could just call her and let her handle everything while you do your thing. I think that would be ideal if you can't have your UC.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
The birth tub is huge (for our space, it's a fancy one we rented with jets and stuff) and complex... We're back and forth about setting it up in advance because while it's up, there will be no using our living room. But maybe that's what'll have to happen. I really do plan to make DH do it, but that's the thing -- I imagine I'll have to make him do it. It's not that he's a slacker so much as... kind of clueless, sometimes. A slacker too, I guess, but a well meaning one.

And the timing contractions thing -- my midwife has said I should, at least at first, to make sure they're regular so it's real labor. I don't think I have to be too worried about them, but it's just one more thing, you know?

In the end, I guess whatever happens happens. If it all turns into a complete mess, logistically, I'll still have the baby, right?
 
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