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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: I was talking to my best friend last night. We talk every day so she's well aware of the tongue tie, high palate, shallow latch and our quest to find a medical professional who will take us seriously and help us.<br><br>
Anyhow, I told her last night that DS had developed a "cycle" of waking up, eating, then being awake/playing, then napping...then waking up, eating, etc...<br><br>
Because I am just so darn frustrated with this tongue-tie thing, he's got teeth so when he clamps down it's excruciating and the SNS and pump tubing and just everything, I was leaning towards offering him a bottle after he wakes up for his "feeding" (w/hopefully pumped bm) and then after he played a bit and got fussy, I'd let him comfort-nurse at the breast to sleep. I would still pump while I was feeding him, it would just be a bottle instead of an SNS. And I could still switch sides just like nursing and do skin-to-skin.<br><br>
She said, "I'd be careful letting him nurse to sleep...it's just like letting him take a bottle to sleep...and he's old enough now to manipulate you."<br><br>
WHAT!?!?<br><br>
He's 5 1/2 mos. I'm floored...I had no response. I just said, "well, when you have problems (she breastfed quite easily), you have to find what works."
 

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Wow. I'm floored too! Of course babies are supposed to nurse to sleep! They wouldn't fall asleep on the breast if it wasn't supposed to make them sleepy. And it's just not possible for your son to manipulate you. He's just a baby for God's sake! What he wants is what he needs, especially at 5.5 months. Keep doing what you're doing mamma! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I don't really know what to say to her comment. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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Say "Babies under a year have ONLY needs; not "wants".
 

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Manipulative! Ha!<br><br>
Perhaps you can explain to her that your baby is learning that he is safe and warm and loved and will be fed whenever he is hungry. Because of this, you expect that he will be grounded in love, and feel secure later in life to venture out into the world with confidence.
 

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My mom says stuff like that all of the time! I just say, "I know, he's manipulating me into loving him too much huh?"
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>PatioGardener</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10362778"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Manipulative! Ha!</div>
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Make it more a "thanks, I needed a good laugh" sort of giggle, and there's the perfect response.
 

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Oh yes, you need to be careful of those babies - they'll manipulate you right into not letting them starve to death if you're not careful. Crafty little buggers.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>wannabe</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10369868"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh yes, you need to be careful of those babies - they'll manipulate you right into not letting them starve to death if you're not careful. Crafty little buggers.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Does your friend read Baby Wise?
 

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Moving to LWAB since this isn't about Lactivism
 

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Yeah. According to my MIL and FIL ours was "manipulating" us into driving him around in the car to fall asleep the first night he came home from the hospital. He was 4 days old and had been screaming for 8 hours straight, till 4am when he fell asleep in the car.<br><br>
Turns out later he was finally diagnosed with acid reflux disease AND milk intolerance and that's why he was screaming so much.
 

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Breastmilk MAKES them sleepy, I have to believe that mother nature intended it that way as a soother for baby. Really its a congrats kind of thing - your baby is learning how to communicate his needs and get them met!
 

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5 month olds can't manipulate yet, they can't even talk! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I like the idea of falling asleep while nursing. Isn't that what God/mother nature/our maker/whatever you believe intended to happen? I have ds fall asleep like that all of the time, and he can do that for as long as he likes. It sure does make naptime and bedtime easy for me. I EP'd for dd, and it was AWFUL getting her to sleep ever. I wish I had the easy tool of the boob for her!
 

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OMG. You know I just went back to work this week for the first time since baby (8 weeks old) and now that they can no longer lecture me on the wonders of elective C-sections and epidurals, they're preaching the wonders of Dr. Ferber. AFTER I told them that my baby sleeps through the night. I told one person that when he cries himself to sleep cuz he's tired, I hold him while he does it. She actually said, "If you hold him every time he cries you'll be holding him til he's 15." Someone else told me last night babies manipulate. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: She told me when her second child would cry at night they'd take her downstairs to the pack n' play to CIO there for 45 minutes so she wouldn't wake her older sister, and get this... every time she saw the pack n' play she would start screaming louder. To me, this indicates fear of abandonment. To the mom, this indicated her baby was trying to manipulate her. It makes me sad.<br><br>
Why is the western society so detached from our kids when raising them? I don't understand. I have memories of crying and crying when I was a kid and noone ever coming... I will never do that to my child. I love that I can make him feel safe and warm and you know what? That's my job.<br><br>
I was just reading a book about infant sleep, and it actually says when they wake at 3 MONTHS to feed, soothe them back to sleep some other way or you'll be waking up forever. Um, yeah, cuz they're hungry and you have to feed them! This theory is everywhere. It makes me sick.
 

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All of this gives me an idea, ladies! Let's conduct a longitudinal study. I'll meet you all back at this thread in 15 years, and we'll report if our "babies" are still nursing.<br><br>
"NAK" is going to look interesting with a teenager sprawled across my lap. It will serve me right for spoiling my manipulative dd during her infancy! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 
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