Masochistic behavior?

510 Views 4 Replies 4 Participants Last post by msiddiqi, Apr 3, 2006

msiddiqi

Discussion Starter · Apr 1, 2006

Man, do I have a lot of questions today....
I don't know if this is normal, or if it's something I need to address, or just ignore...
I have posted before about DS (13mo) banging his head on things purposely - it seems like a lot of moms have DC's who do that so I wasn't too worried after reading their posts.
But now I'm noticing this other thing in DS. Sometimes, he'll put himself in difficult situations purposely that require me to help him out. I know it sounds weird for a 13 mo but he really does. What happens is, he'll get himself stuck by accident in something because he likes to acrobats on my furniture. But after I help him once, he'll put himself back in the same situation and cry. He'll continuously do this until I move him away and distract him...it's usually when he's cranky or not feeling well.
I make sure I do not overreact when he's in situations like that, I just calmly get him out of it, and give him a little kiss on the head (cuz I'm looking for any excuse to

).
I guess I worry because I have had my fair share of masochistic behavior in my teenager years and early 20s. I used to hurt myself on purpose when I was upset or feeling trapped. While those times in my life are over, I just worry that it's some genetic thing he picked up from me

Any insight would be appreciated.
TIA

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kamilla626

· #2 · Apr 1, 2006

I would highly doubt that it's genetic.

But just like your own self-harm did, it probably serves him some purpose... to get held by mommy? to pull mommy away from what she's doing? to test his own ability to get himself un-stuck? to chase that invisible squirrel that no one else can see?

I don't have any suggestions for making it stop, but looking into potentional reasons for why it's happening in the first place might give you a place to start.

Then again, it might be one of those many random "doesn't have much to do with anything" crazy things that toddlers do!

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mollyeilis

· #3 · Apr 1, 2006

My guy used to bang his head on things, just for fun, it seemed.

And he still likes to get himself stuck in situations where he needs help. What's cool is that a several months back I taught him to sign "help", and a few months ago he finally got it, and NOW he's *saying* it, so he can sign and say "help" and I'll come help him. Which he likes.

I personally think it's normal.

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TortelliniMama

· #4 · Apr 1, 2006

Ds used to do something similar. He would stick a hand or a foot somewhere (sometimes just touching to a piece of furniture) and announce that he was "Stuck! Help!" He wasn't actually stuck at all, but he enjoyed something about the interaction. We just played along, and eventually he outgrew it. I would just be sure to respond to the other ways that he'll develop to ask for your attention and interaction. (Not that I imagine you wouldn't tend to do that anyway, but sometimes when you're trying to get stuff done, it's easy to put off a kid who's asking for your attention in a low-key way, which can then inspire them to move up to a more dramatic way, iykwim.) When he has other ways that are at least as effective (and which are easier than getting himself back into a sticky situation), he's likely to use those instead. It's probably just one of those toddler games that don't make much sense to us, but are fascinating to them.

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msiddiqi

Discussion Starter · #5 · Apr 3, 2006

Yeah, I wondered if maybe I was not giving him attention when I'm doing work and that's why he's doing these things. I've actually started to get up earlier than him so I don't have to do my housework when he's awake (he refuses to sit in the baby carrier anymore). So let's see how that works out.
I was actually just thinking recently that I should teach him the sign for "help". Although, he doesn't seem to want to learn anything other signs after I taught him milk, but that's for another thread

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