[seedling]

I'm a second time mom. BF my first for 15 mths. Had my share of plugged ducts from 2 mths on with my first.

My second is three weeks old. Nursing was going great. She's gaining weight like crazy. Saturday I woke up with a fever and with my left breast hurting and very full. I nursed her and the fullness went away but I was left with some soreness and a red area. Fever progressively got higher. Spent the whole day in bed nursing. When fever hit 103.5 I took pain reliver to get it down. By Sunday afternoon, still a really high fever, NO sign of improvement, I called my midwife. She prescribed antibiotics. I've now had three days' of a ten day course. No more fever. I feel human again but my breast is still red and in my opinion, the area of hardness is more than it was when I had the high fever. In fact, I don't remember there *being any* hardness under the red area when I had the fever. This doesn't jive with anything I've read.

So, here I am trying to relieve/release any backed up milk. I'm abso-freaking-loutely overwhelmed by trying to DO everything that needs to be done. It's dang near impossible to do a hot compress before you nurse when you nurse on demand AND are at home alone with a newborn AND a three year old. It's darn near impossible to ALWAYS be drinking water when you are in the above situation. Add to that trying to take extra vitamin C 4 times a day, massage the breast, pump on the other side so that supply doesn't go down from favoring the infected side (when all you have is a hated, despised manual pump), take hot showers and massage the breast, yadda, freaking yadda. Plus, REST! Ha, freaking, ha, ha, ha. When, might I ask? Ignore the housework, oh, I am. But when am I supposed to rest? Can't rest when DD is awake. Can't get DD to nap when busy taking care of newborn. Can't get to sleep at night until midnight because newborn has gas and must be bounced in sling forever. Newborn wakes for one last feed and for cry, poot, cry fest at 4 or 5 am which sends Mommy downstairs so she doesn't have TWO wide awake kids to deal with. So Mommy is bouncing again.

HOW am I supposed to get better? Why do I feel so guilty that I got this in the first place? Why do I feel guilty that I can't find the time to do all the things to get better consistently?

I'm just feeling really overwhelmed. I felt like I was doing just great at a week and a half PP. Then last week I got the blues and started freaking about my DH going back to work on Monday (this week). Then the weekend came and I got this. Now midweek and I absolutely feel rock bottom. I just DID NOT EXPECT to have problems with breastfeeding this time. I feel like somebody yanked the chair out from under me.

If you've read this far, thanks for giving me room to voice my misery.

 

[carrietorgc]

aww, hugs to you! That sounds absolutely miserable.

I have had mastitis many times with my dd that is 13 mo old - FWIW I would NEVER notice a lump, and by the time my boob was red and sore I had masitits.

The ONLY thing that helps me is to take soya lecithin every day www.kellymom.com has info on it, search under lecithin. Oh, and I can't wear bras that have that "holster" so that when you nurse your boob is touching it. i either cut the holster out or use bravados. HTH.

 

[wendinbill]

Awww...that's hard!! I'm sorry you are dealing with so much! It was a huge adjustment for me to go from being the mom of one, to a mom of two! Just know that it does get easier! I hope your breast is feeling better very soon...is there anyone that can come give you a hand?

 

[DaryLLL]

I agree. Lecithin is one thing that helps a lot of moms with recurrent plugs/mastitis.

You need help. Can you get a mother's helper to entertain (and wear out

) your active toddler once or twice a week? Anyone else that can help? Even hire a doula if you can afford it. Ask a church for meals on wheels while you heal.

As far as the warm compresses, put a crockpot full of washcloths and warm water (or an old cut up towel if you don't have enough washcloths) next to your nursing station. Then they will be there when you need them.

In between feedings, put a cold cabbage leaf in your bra on the sore side. Crush it a bit first w/a rolling pin. Maybe get yr 3 old to do this. Tell her she is your "nurse."

Why is baby gassy? Would cutting back on dairy on your diet help with that?

Good luck with all this. The first 6 weeks are the hardest! You will make it through!

 

[seedling]

Thank you so much for the support. I'm actually feeling a little better than I did when I posted that this morning. I let my DD watch a video this afternoon while I nursed and dozed on the couch. It seems that the redness is fading and the hard area seems smaller. I keep looking and I keep thinking the same thing. So that makes me so happy.

The crockpot idea is brilliant. I have one that I never cook in so employing it to keep warm wash cloths will make it earn it's storage space for all these years.

About the bra...I'm not wearing one at all while I recover but when I do, I definitely want to wear one that will help prevent this. I am small chested. I think I've decided I like the nursing sleep bras that look like sports bras but don't compress you like sports bras do. You just pull them up when you are ready to nurse. I also have "bralets" that are pretty much the same thing just with smaller straps. Do you think that would compress too much when I nurse? I will look at Bravado's again. I think my issue with them when I looked earlier was that they all had huge straps and it's so darn HOT here in the summer that it frustrates me to spend so much on a bra that's incompatible with half my summer clothes (the straps would show with everything). Anybody know of a good nursing bra for small chested people with skinny straps? I know I don't like the "holster" type bras. I hate all the fumbling you have to do to get ready to nurse and find that the one's I've tried had way too much support and felt constricting.

About the lecithin. I'm sending DH tomorrow to get some. I've printed out the info from kellymom.com. Thanks for that link. I think this is one of the biggest things I've been stressing over...."what if I get this again?" I mean, I felt like this was so out of the blue. I know I have the predisposition to plugged ducts anyway. To feel like there is SOMETHING, ANYTHING I can do to try to prevent the reoccurence is very calming for me.

On the help front. I DO have a good bit of help. I've not been cooking ... I've just been reheating food that my friend's have brought us or making sandwiches for my DD. We've been really blessed to have meals coming to us about every other day for a month. I think I have a few more meals in the wings for next week thanks to my fellowship group. And then thanks to my Mom, I've got grilled chicken and the like frozen in small packs in the freezer for quick salad meals for the following weeks. And she gave us money for groceries so DH stocked up on some convience foods we don't usually have on hand. So I'm basically just reheating food right now.

My friends have been coming over with their children to play with DD. My DD has been a little aggressive and challenging with my poor friends kids though ... I think in part to see if she can get me out of my nursing chair. My friends are really great with being super understanding and doing the "use your words" routine for me but I'm starting to think it might be time to get DD out of the house. I know if I could just get us in the car and get to one of their houses they'd be happy to take over and let me sit and nurse and I think DD would be on better behavior. I may try that tomorrow and see how it goes.

My Mom was also here yesterday and got me caught up on laundry, cleaned out my fridge, and did a good bit of cooking. It's nice to have all that done but she does a number on my mental state after awhile for various reasons I won't go into now. So I'm grateful to have that housekeeping done but glad she's gone. I also had one my still single friends come last week and vacuum and dust the whole house for me.

Money is an issue for us in the summer months (DH is a teacher on a 10 months salary and I work at home part time with no maternity leave so I'm w/o a paycheck for the whole summer). DH is working right now at a summer writing camp but won't be seeing any money from that till August. So hiring someone is not really an option right now. It will be in the fall when I start working again, but not now.

Anyway, I guess you can tell by the length that I got my DD down for her nap today. And I've now bounced my baby to sleep while doing this. So, thanks again for the wonderful ideas and support. I'm feeling calmer and more collected. It's so hard to stay in the moment and not project "this is what it's always going to be like" vibes. I *KNOW* it's not going to stay this hard. I've been here (w/o the mastitis and w/ a lot less support) and done this. But it's hard when you are exhausted or frustrated or whatever to remember it. Okay I'm off to lay down for a bit. Thanks again mommas.