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Meeting a birth relative

686 Views 3 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Skim
A while back I posted in another thread that I was trying to contact a birth relative because I found out that my birth mom was dead. After a short-lived deep heartbreak, I found an aunt, and we're writing letters, planning to meet at the end of July! This is utterly exciting and scary, and I'm learning so much. My head just spins sometimes.

Are there any other adopted folks out there who have gone through a search and reconnection? Any words of advice? Things you wish you would have done differently?

I'm open to any suggestions or recommendations.


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I'm not an adoptee, so I don't have any great words of wisdom, but just wanted to congratulate you and hope your meeting is a joyous one!!!
About 6 years ago my half-brother contacted my mother, his birth mother, in order to meet her. The two of them met, visited a few times, and have drifted apart. Half-brother and I, however, do not have the same emotional issues that my mother has, and I think that has made it easier for us to establish a relationship. There are no feelings or guilt or disappointment, we can just enjoy the fact that we found one another. Perhaps you and your birth aunt will have a similar experience.

I would recommend going with the flow and keeping your expectations relatively low. Keep an open mind and heart and I wish you the best.

Thank you, funnybunny and steph, for your support.

Everyone who's still alive on my maternal side is contacting me now... It's raining relatives! I've had to take some steps back before replying to get my head together. Like my two-yo dd, I need time to adjust to new situations

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