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I am thinking of getting a subscription to Match but feel like such a loser.Does anyone else out there have problems meeting partners IRL?
 

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I do. It's like all they want is sex...or they find out I have a daughter and they stop talking to me..even if they are a single parent?<br>
I thought about subscribing to something too..but feel unsure.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>trippingbillies</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10787066"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am thinking of getting a subscription to Match but feel like such a loser.Does anyone else out there have problems meeting partners IRL?</div>
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Why would that make you feel like a loser? I use internet dating, and I'm anything but a loser. ;-)
 

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I use and recommend OKCupid.com it's totally free, and has quizzes and %matches by compatibility, lots of interesting and cool looking people on there/. The one I've met was rad, but platonic. I'm not ready for anything right now heh. Except a girlfriend or FwB haha.
 

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yeah, doing 'Match' doesn't make you a loser, almost every single person I know is on Match (myself included)
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>erickalynne</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10787178"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I do. It's like all they want is sex...or they find out I have a daughter and they stop talking to me..even if they are a single parent?<br>
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Ok...so I'm not alone.Isn't it strange how men with children don't seem to "want" women with children?I've noticed that.It's bad enough a lot of down aren't into women with kiddos.<br><br>
While browsing Match I actually came across an ad([email protected],I wish I had bookmarked it).Granted the guy <i>was</i> single and had no kids and made it clear he wanted a childfree woman.Well,he edited it to say that a date with <i>one</i> child <i>might</i> be ok butthat his match should be open to having a child with him so that they could have a family.It really came across as arrogant.<br><br>
Is this what I have to look forward to?
 

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Yeah....the most recent guy (ok, only guy) that I dated since having dd just told me recently that he cannot handle all of my "issues." We had many plans broken due to the jealousy/ moodiness of ex. So, I guess it's going to be hard to find a guy who can deal with that huge annoyance (crazy ex/dd's father).<br><br>
I just don't think I'm the type who would do well with online dating....
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>trippingbillies</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10788002"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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Is this what I have to look forward to?</div>
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Yes and no. Yes, there are jerks, idiots, pigs, etc...being online doesn't make that any less or more likely to happen in comparison to irl.<br><br>
You have to wade through the crap to find the gold. It also helps to know what your non-negotiables and must-have are when perusing the site or considering someone that has approached you.<br><br>
I have met some great men through online dating sites, including my amazing bf.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>trippingbillies</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10788002"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Ok...so I'm not alone.Isn't it strange how men with children don't seem to "want" women with children?I've noticed that.It's bad enough a lot of down aren't into women with kiddos.<br><br>
While browsing Match I actually came across an ad([email protected],I wish I had bookmarked it).Granted the guy <i>was</i> single and had no kids and made it clear he wanted a childfree woman.Well,he edited it to say that a date with <i>one</i> child <i>might</i> be ok butthat his match should be open to having a child with him so that they could have a family.It really came across as arrogant.<br><br>
Is this what I have to look forward to?</div>
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There are some people out there that just prefer to date others without children. If I were you, I'd just shrug, say "their loss" and move on. It's not too unlike people who will only date blonds, or men over 6', or any other strange dating preference that people have. If anything, I'm appreciative that they say it up-front so I don't waste my time.<br><br>
It also depends a lot on the age of the daters. I've found that men over 30 are a lot more open to single motherhood in general. I have not found that having children has hindered my ability to find and date quality men online. I'm sure there are some that don't email me at all because of it, but that's their choice.
 

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I've tried online dating but 98% of the time I only get scary men who reply. I met 3 guys but there was no spark. I'm still friends with one of the guys though.<br>
Oh, and I only did free sites. PlentyOfFish isn't bad.<br><br>
I don't go to the sites anymore.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DaughterOfKali</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10797646"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've tried online dating but 98% of the time I only get scary men who reply. I met 3 guys but there was no spark. I'm still friends with one of the guys though.<br>
Oh, and I only did free sites. PlentyOfFish isn't bad.<br><br>
I don't go to the sites anymore.</div>
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What do you mean "scary"?
 

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Is it terrible that I'm one of those people who isn't completely open to dating somebody with kids, yet I have a kid. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/tomato.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="tomato"> Actually that's not true, I'm open to dating somebody who has a healthy co-parenting relationship with their ex, and one child. Or a widow with children.<br><br>
I don't want somebody to respond to me if they don't want/like kids, cause dd and I come as a package. I'd rather they move along if they aren't interested.<br><br>
I don't know I was more interested in men with kids before I started to hang out and read posts in the blended family forum. My life already has it's cast of crazy characters. I don't know if I can emotionally handle an ex-wife who looks at me as the enemy.<br><br>
But I'm also not looking for a serious relationship. I don't think my dd can emotionally handle that at this time in her life.<br><br>
All that said if I met some totally fabulous man, and he had 5 kids, and a crazy ex wife who hated my guts, but I fell in love with him, well of course I would handle it the best I could.<br><br><br>
OH but on the topic of dating sites, I don't feel like a loser using one. I'm busy, I don't have time to get out there, dating sites are kinda fun. I've had some good luck with both Yahoo, and Plenty of Fish.
 

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at least the guys who are up front about it are being honest. At this point in my life I can admire honesty regardless of what they are being honest about. better he just be honest with himself and any potential partners right up front. being a step parent is hard and not everyone is cut out for it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> fair enough.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>trippingbillies</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10799491"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What do you mean "scary"?</div>
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By scary, I mean in the first contact they ask you what you are wearing and what your address is. Some have asked if they can come over (in their very first or second message to me).<br>
The list goes on.
 

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I've had good luck with dating sites, generally. That's how I met STBXH and my current interest. I would honestly rather have someone who told me upfront that they can't deal with my kids or my baggage, rather than later; honesty is good and I don't have a lot of time to spend on people who aren't interested in what I've got and can't change.
 
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