Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,503 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am writing this almost 8 mths later. I think it was easier for me to handle now writing the long detailed birth story now than it was then.<br><br><br>
In April 2004 I found out I was pregnant after ttc for 5 mths. Unfortunately it ended in a m/c at about 5 weeks. It was devastating to say the least. The disturbing part of it was before it happened I had several dreams where it involved a death of a baby. So somehow I knew it was going to happen. We decided not to really try for the next month or so and just let things happen. I stopped charting. About 2 weeks after the m/c I had a dream one night, I was sitting down and turned to my left and there was sitting my older dd then I turned to the right and there was a shadow of a younger child. I woke up and for some reason wanted to start temping. After a few days I thought I had already ovulated and would be in the 2ww. I then had another dream, around 10 dpo. I was looking into the mirror and saw a heartbeat in my belly. I woke and and immediately proceeded to POAS. Well there was a light line there. I was so happy I just knew this one was going to stick. My heart was telling me so.<br><br>
So after several betas and u/s done to prove to my OB that yes indeed I was pregnant again (she thought it was left over from m/c) I was on my way. I had always wanted a homebirth but knew it wouldnt be an option for me. I was at risk for ptl labor since I went early with my first. So my OB was going to keep a closer eye on me and measure my cervix regulary. I was also told to take it easy as much as I could. Everything was going smoothly so far. Had a 18 wk u/s and found out she was a girl. I knew in my heart it was one. <br><br>
Next u/s at 22 wks to check my cervix. Looking good, nice and long. Next u/s at 26 wks to begin biweekly checks. Then when I was around 24 wks I noticed some bloody mucous. I really didn't panic at first because I had polyps which created some bleeding here and there. That night for some reason I couldn't sleep. I kept waking up thinking I should of called my OB. So I called the next morning and was told to go on in. My OB wasn't in so the nurse practioner examed me and said "I'll be right back I want to get another opinion" At this point I'm freaking out already, I knew something wasn't right. Laying there waiting was excruciating. Finally another OB came in and it was an omen to me as she was the one who examed me w/my first and told me I was already dialating. Then like deja-vu she said "you are 2-3 cm and your water is bulging" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> So of course I started crying hysterically. The nurses were there holding my hand while they waited for ambulance to arrive. I hysterically made a few phone calls and then they arrived. The drivers were so nice to me and they said don't worry, you are going to a good hospital there's still a good chance your baby will survive. I told them it was too early I think she's going to die. (I had no idea at the time that babies born that soon had any chance) <br><br>
I get to the hospital, they ask me questions. I told them about my previous birth and that I was familiar w/the drill. She had check me and I was at 4 cm. They put me in a trembelenburgh (sp?) position- where your head is lower than your feet. THen proceeded with that evil magnesium sulfate drip and steroid shots. That stuff is just plain awful and when your head is lower it makes the headaches even worse. I was sorta just numb the whole time saying I can't believe this is happening to me. I thought for sure I was going to lose my baby. Then I got the NICU consult and he told me the survival odds at that stage and what to expect. This was much different than my first considering the stage I was at, so this was much scarier. Luckily I seemed to stop at 4 cm. This was good news. They wanted me to hold out as long as I could and to get that 2nd shot in. After 2 days they decided to take the mag out and I did good for one day. I didn't progress or no contractions showed up. It seemed I had stabalized so they sent me to a more comfy room upstairs. Much better. Then on day 4 I started feeling a few contractions, so they monitored me and yup back to L&D I go. The mag gets put back in. Its much worse the 2nd time around. I wasn't dialated anymore but my water bag was bulging out a bit more. They decided to keep me in L&D till I delivered, so they tried to make me as comfy as possible. I remember asking the doc if I could make it a few more weeks. She was saying 'yes it's possible" but I knew from her expression that she thought I'd be going soon. <br><br>
Two days have gone by and I was doing good. They stopped the mag and I had a complete day of no contractions. Things were looking up. It was rough being in there as it was the longest I was ever away from my dd1. She was able to come in once and see me and we snuggled and she fell asleep in bed with me. It was uplifting to see her. I had tons of pictures that I just kept looking at to help me through. It was a tough ordeal being in there but I have to admit most of the nurses were so wonderful and did there best to make sure I was as comfortable as possible and helped me during my on and off again crying fits. <br><br>
Around 4:30 pm I had to pee, so the nurse came and noticed I was bleeding. She called the doc to get in there. I didn't feel any different so I was a bit shocked when after she checked me she said I was 10 cm. Yikes! I remember saying, "does that mean I'm going to deliver soon?" she said yes of course. Thinking back now what the heck was I thinking? :LOL I wasn't even contracting at the time so I thought I'd have awhile to go. I called my dh to get down there and also my cousin since I knew she was closer and would make it there in a few minutes to help support me. The did an u/s and said she was head down which meant I didn't need a c/s, phew! I so didn't want one. But her head was still high and she wanted to puncture my water to get her head down more. We were going to wait till he got there for her to do this. At this time my cousin comes in and I'm starting to feel contractions. Not bad really. Then all of a sudden they hurt big time. The pain was mainly in my back and after being off my feet for 6 days my back was already sore. I asked for pain meds. I originally said no pain meds, no epi's at all and my nurse knew this. She reminded me that any pain meds I would take would make it worse for the baby. So I said "ok no way" I'll tough it out. Thank you nurse! thinking back I'm so glad she said that. My dh got there and they were getting me ready and put me in an upright position. Talk about instant pain relief! damn if I knew that I would have sat up 10 minutes ago. So the pain went away and she punctured my water. The NICU team was in there getting ready as were a bunch of other docs and nurses coming and going. It was a confusing scene. Overall I only had 15 minutes of real contractions before they said I could push whenever I was ready. I did one push, they said almost one more and i gave one huge push and screamed the loudest I have ever screamed and she came out at 5:46 pm. I remember the doc saying "Wow" and she said she kicked me. Also she came out completely intact in the water bag. I remember hearing a little peep from her and they were all saying that was an incredible sign for a 25 weeker. It didn't matter to me because at that point I completely lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I cried uncontrollably. I didn't even want to look at her. I was scared, terrified that she was still going to die. I didn't know how to handle the moment. They brought her away to the NICU after they had her intubated. Honestly I felt a bit better when they took her away. I hate to say it but I did. I calmed down. They let my cousin back in who was watching my first dd outside and I felt so much better once I saw her. Gave her a big huge and that was the best medicine I could get at that time. The nurse gave me a quick update on my baby, her apgars were 6 and 8, very impressive for that age. She was 1 lb 11 ozs and 13 inches. <br><br>
I was sent up to the recovery rooms. Overall physcially it didn't feel like I had just given birth I felt fine. I just had slight problem walking because my legs hadn't walked in 6 days so it took awhile. I had my first pump session that night at 11 pm and actually got a few drops so that was good. I had a fairly decent night sleep. The next morning the doc told me I could leave whenever I wanted, so of course I'm like ready now. I still hadn't gone down to see my baby yet. Hadn't even thought of a name for her. I finally went down to see her and that was the most emotional moment I have ever had in my life. Whenever I saw her in there I just about lost it again. She was so tiny with so many tubes and wires all over her. It just broke my heart. They told me I could touch her but I said no I was afraid to and said I needed to go I wasn't feeling well. I only stayed 5 minutes. I left in complete tears, my dh wasn't there at the time and I remember walking back to my room in a complete haze. I had to wait for him to come and pick me up and it was going to be a few hours so I just cuddled up in my bed and cried. He came and I got dressed and we got everything ready to leave. I said I don't want to leave without naming her first. So we both went down to see her together. Well he had a hard time also and so did I again. We only stayed a few mins and went and got something to eat and decided on a name. Megan Elizabeth. It felt weird and not right leaving the hospital without a baby in my arms. It was like I never was pregnant. It seemed like a foggy dream at the time.<br><br>
It was a tough road ahead but could have been much worse. Megan spent 102 days in the NICU and came home on her due date. Overall she did very well, had no major complications only a few minor ones that all resolved over time. All the docs and nurses kept telling me she was a rare one to come out of it with no problems. She's almost 8 mths now and she's done so remarkably well. I'm proud of my little preemie sweetpea and love her very much <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> She was so determined to make it in this world
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,084 Posts
Oh Laura - I'm sitting here balling...wipe sniff... what a miracle! You and she both! I'm so glad you did everything you could, and she IS such a wonderful little fighter. Whatever her purpose on this earth is now, I will always wish her godspeed. Big hugs for a job SO well done! Andy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
281 Posts
Congratulations on your sweet dd.<br><br>
When I read your post I just had to reply b/c I was a preemie too. I was born at 24 weeks, and that was back in 1981.<br><br>
You were so brave to be seperated from your sweet baby that long while she was in the nicu. Your a great mom with a special baby.<br><br>
meredith
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,342 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Little Megan has grown so much, that must have been so scarey I just can't even imagine<br>
I can't remember if I told you but one of my sil was also a preemie she's born 3months premature and she just graduated from college. She completed 4 years in 2 1/2 with a 3.9gpa and is planning to go to medical school in a year or two (none will accept her now, she's too young) Those preemies can turn into someone really amazing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,600 Posts
Oh Laura, thanks for sharing. I'm sorry Megan's birth was traumatic, but what and angel she is. She's lucky to have you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story; you and sweetpea Megan are very strong! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,724 Posts
Oh Laura, that sounds so hard! You did a great job doing everything you could for her. You are still doing a great job! What a precious sweetpea she is.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top