[2bluefish]

Does anybody know a good book to help me figure out how to deal with behavior problems? Here's the scenario - Very busy household. Juju gets frustrated cause something he want isn't happening quickly enough and starts to have a temper tantrum. There is a very small window of opportunity to give him what he wants, and if it doesn't happen, then he will go into a full blown meltdown that we cannot bring him out of. He may scream bloody murder for 30 min to an hour - if he had better motor control he would be violent. We feel like we are creating a monster. It isn't our way to just give into a kid cause they throw a tantrum, but if we don't, then he looses control. I feel like I have to stay 3 steps ahead of him, so that I'm always ready for what he is going to want - and I'm doomed to fail cause I have too much responsibility to be able to do that. I'm at a complete loss as how to deal with this. The behavior is completely different from my NT kids. I can tell him to stop screaming, and I can see him trying, but he just can't.

 

[suzyn]

I heard about that book on here last Spring and it helped us quite a bit--it discusses how the child understands and thinks about things and helps you to approach the child with those needs in mind...

Good luck to you.

 

[2boyzmama]

Ian had terrible, long, very physical tantrums (even self injuring) and I found the book "Raising Your Spirited Child" very helpful. I don't know how well you can tailor the techniques to Juju's special needs, but it might give you some pointers. You also might be able to contact the author and describe his physical limitations and see if they have any further suggestions.

 

[cchrissyy]

We dealt with that too - try "Asperger Syndrome And Difficult Moments: Practical Solutions For Tantrums, Rage And Meltdowns" it was the only thing I found that seemed to understand what we were up against. the cure was meds and therapy though.

 

[Sassy Mommy]

I read Exp.Child and Spirited Child and recommend both

 

[2bluefish]

Thanks!!

 

[joensally]

You can get a lot of the info from Spirited Child and Explosive Child online. I'd also recommend reading up on sensory processing disorder, and Kurcinka's other book, Kids, Parents and Power Struggles. If you can get it online, it's cheap and available now (but I don't have impulse control issues

).

I have read a lot of books looking for the prescription that would solve our problems. What I found is that I had to try things out and adapt a variety of approaches to meet the needs of our individual personalities/abilities (mine and the kids'), as well as the context of our family (how we are day to day).

I really like your calm, accepting, activist, matter of fact attitude.