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Meltdowns in previously calm 4.5 yo - is this normal?

416 Views 7 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  USAmma
long...question at bottom .... if you've BTDT any feedback would be incredibly appreciated.

ds1 is 4.5 lately he has been having (quick) meltdowns.
He is getting frustrated incredibly easily and I'm not sure why.
Yesterday in the elevator at the mall, he sat on the floor and started to whine/cry about going to the computer store before the play area.
He'll cry about going to bed (always easy to get to bed before).
He gets very frustrated about the rules of games he has played before (and lost before) without problem. to the point of throwing the pieces.
He cried and told me I was not his mummy anymore when I suggested he might want to go calm down (something he usually takes to).
He reacts badly to any suggestion or direction from parent or FIL.
He wants to be dressed (I oblige but it is kinda odd).
This has been going on for a month but much more noticeable over the last 2 weeks.

At the same time,
He is wanting to do more complicated things.
He peeled the carrots today. He washed them and then happily wiped up the mess he made from the water. He helped me to vacuum (successfully). He plugged in and unplugged the vacuum and put the baby plug back in too. Also he seems to judge himself (just noticed this today) - he said (after he did all this) - I am good aren't I. And I said you are being very helpful and it is very appreciated but maybe I should have said you are wonderful also?

He has been starting to draw letters (X, O), to ask what words mean and to count past ten and add a little. He can play "Alchemy" and complicated computer games.
He wants to know about big things like death and why people do things. He seems much more aware of how big the universe is somehow.

So basically he is acting much much more emotionally fragile than ever before. More highs and lows. Is this normal??
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Anything new in his life? school, caregiver, baby, moving, etc?
He's 4. My ds is exactly the same way right now.
it's totally frustrating on both our parts. I consider it a good morning if we make it out of bed without him crying
I've noticed that when dh is gone or if we're really busy he tends to flip out more easily. We've spent the last few days chillin' at home, we've had a very busy month and it really took his toll on him. His mood and attitude have improved greatly.
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Growth spurt?

Greater protein need?

Greater fatigue due to growth spurt?


Hang in there...your little one sounds normal.

Keep the faith in his growth, and keep the patience-- the hardest thing of all.

Share your ideas, your love, continue with with many comforting words and hugs. tell him 'It's normal to be frustrated at something like this. It will OK. Tomorrow (or in a little while) you'll feel a bit better about all this" etc.

Do not take it personally. Snuggle lots when he's accepting, share your funny childhood stories, read lots at bedtime and other times, keep talking, keep letting him know (by words and touch) that he is your wonderful boy.
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Thank you for all your kind words.

UUMom - yes he is fatigued. He is recovering from an incredible bout of flus and long lasting colds. He caught at least four things right after each other He has never been sick for so long and it interrupted his sleep so now he is sleeping a great deal to make up for it.
It can be surprising how long lasting the effects of illness can be
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Hang in there. I don't have a solution just wanted to pass on we're going through the same thing. I've always had the wonder child who used words instead of meltdowns and breezed through the 2s & 3s...and here we are at 4.5 w/tears and stomping feet. I think maybe they're developing a more defined sense of self and it's difficult & confusing.

I just stay calm & loving :LOL & give him space because I know this is how he'll learn to react when his brother goes through the same stage later.
The half-birthdays are tough until they hit about 7. I read that when Abi was 1 and so far it's proven to be true every year.
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