[alliegad]

What on earth *is* this phenomenon?? Middle child syndrome... why is it so commonly thought that a middle child will get less love and/or attention than an older and a younger sibling?
I don't understand. Not sure if this is the right thread to post this in.

I have a 21 month old and a 6 week old. Although I am not planning on trying for a 3rd anytime soon, I think about it, and eventually, I would like to have one more. BUT-- DH wants 3 max. So, inevitably, my now baby would eventually be a middle child. I can't imagine jipping him out of attention, but even though I don't predict it, will it *have* to happen? I don't see why or how.....
Any thoughts?

 

[udonandbroth]

nak

i have no idea...i was asking some older friends about this just last night, who have three grown kids... they seem to think that middle children turn out the most normal... ??? I personally haven't noticed any weirdness with the middle child friends that I have... lets just hope that this whole "middle child syndrome" is some sort of an urban myth

 

[mightymoo]

I think its pretty silly. I think the theory is that the oldest gets special attention because they are oldest (and so do everything first) and youngest gets special attention because they are last (and so the moments need to be savored), leaving the middle child feeling like they aren't as special and having to make up for it?

I am an oldest of 3, with two younger brothers. I personally felt that the middle brother made out best. It seemed like he was always included in things, whereas either he and I would exclude the youngest or he and the youngest would exclude me. I can't at all recall me and my younger brother doing something together where we wouldn't let middle brother join. ("They are excluding me!" was often heard at our house

)

Personally, I wouldn't not have 3 kids just to avoid having a middle child.

 

[BabyOsMommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by udonandbroth they seem to think that middle children turn out the most normal... ???

I know this is true with my Mom... she the middle of 5, was the most neglected (admittedly by my grandparents even), and is truly the ONLY normal child of all her siblings. The same is true of my Aunt's 3 girls, her middle girl gets the least amount of attention also.

I've also thought a lot about this. My baby would be a middle child, and he's so easy right now, I'm wondering how he'd fair as a middle child. Not that I'd neglect him intentionally, but my ds#1 is high needs, and a baby would be a baby, so naturally have higher needs. I think it would only be an issue if I let it be. I do think that our grandparent's generation parented a lot differently than is the trend now, and it was more condusive to setting up the middle child for this "syndrome"... and as an ap parent, I hope that I'm more in tune with my kids' needs than my parents were of mine.

 

[faythe]

I think it's just one of those things where *every* child feels left out or unloved at some point.

My dh and I are both the oldest and we both feel that our younger siblings got away with murder and didn't have to work for anything. They think we got all the best new stuff. The middle children in our families aren't going to win any "normal" prizes, unless normal means eating disorders, addictions, unemployment and generally poor and short sighted decisions.

The grass is always greener, right?

 

[guest9969]

I don't think "middle child syndrome" is parents loving the middle one less. I think it is the middle child feeling like they are loved less.

I'm a middle and I know I felt this way much more than my siblings. My sisters middle child is the same way. She has the "nobody loves me"s a lot, even though she gets lots of love and attention.

As a group-up I know that, of course, middles aren't loved any less but it really did feel like that when I was growing up.