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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was so aggravated with my MIL yesterday. I made the mistake of talking to her. She told me I need to let go of my kids. Here is why:

Both dh and I work full time. Due to this the week-ends are mostly family oriented-just us because this is when we really get to touch base with the kids (who are 6 & 8) and connect as a family. We do play dates maybe once or twice a month. I usually have them over our house so that I can get to know his friends. I don't have the opportunity to socialize with the sahm moms and I like to know who my children are playing with. My oldest was asking me why his friends usually come to our house instead of him going there. I explained to him that the weekends are for family but since he is asking that the next playdate with x can be at his house.

I was telling my MIL about the conversation and she told me I need to let go. No, I don't think I do. I do not think I am unreasonable in wanting to spend time as a family. Unlike my SIL I enjoy my childrens company and have no interest in farming them out to all of their friends. How are his father and I supposed to be the greater influence in their lives if we rarely spend time together as a family? It just really bugged me. I love my SIL and I love her kids but I see how her parenting style has worked and I want different for my children.

Am I holding on too tight?
 

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The only thing you should let go of is the phone...by not having conversations with MIL about parenting anymore.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by kewb View Post
I was so aggravated with my MIL yesterday. I made the mistake of talking to her. She told me I need to let go of my kids. Here is why:

Both dh and I work full time. Due to this the week-ends are mostly family oriented-just us because this is when we really get to touch base with the kids (who are 6 & 8) and connect as a family. We do play dates maybe once or twice a month. I usually have them over our house so that I can get to know his friends. I don't have the opportunity to socialize with the sahm moms and I like to know who my children are playing with. My oldest was asking me why his friends usually come to our house instead of him going there. I explained to him that the weekends are for family but since he is asking that the next playdate with x can be at his house.

I was telling my MIL about the conversation and she told me I need to let go. No, I don't think I do. I do not think I am unreasonable in wanting to spend time as a family. Unlike my SIL I enjoy my childrens company and have no interest in farming them out to all of their friends. How are his father and I supposed to be the greater influence in their lives if we rarely spend time together as a family? It just really bugged me. I love my SIL and I love her kids but I see how her parenting style has worked and I want different for my children.

Am I holding on too tight?
Well, I think you have a point. However, if he only does playdates once or twice a month, and he is asking about it, then perhaps it is time to let him go for one of the two he has a month. The other parents would probably like the opportunity to know him better also.

Also, stop discussing parenting with your inlaws. That will solve a lot of the problem.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks, Ladies. I already told ds that his next one could be at his friends house. I do let them go to their friends houses on average one out of every three playdates. I will start rotating more frequently.

I usually never discuss parenting with MIL for this very reason. My SIL is golden and does no wrong. DH and I are too strict and over protective. She caught me at a weak moment.
 

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Why not alternate playdates at other's homes. So the 6 yr old could go somewhere Saturday afternoon - giving you one on one time with the 8 year old then switch on Sunday?

And yeah, stop talking to your MIL. That should be parenting rule 101.
 
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