[tuppence]

(mods: not sure where this should go so I just took a guess,

)

My MIL is driving me crazy! I love her dearly and I appreciate her generosity, but come on!

She called the other day and talked to DH and mentioned that she was planning on getting DS (who is 3.5) either the mechanical horse or the mechanical dinosaur (kata, I think it's called?) that he could sit on--it also sings and eats leaves or a carrot. He told her that we really didn't have the space (which she knows bc she stays with us when she's in town) since the dino is like 3' x 4'. (Also, I think he'd get bored with it too quickly for the price.) Her response? "Oh, well, I'll get him a loft bed too and then you can put the dino underneath it." *boggle*

I couldn't decide whether to laugh or just shake my head in bewilderment but I vetoed the loft bed idea and had DH call her with a list of things that DS would love for Xmas (including a couple of expensive things since I know that she loves to buy extravagant things.) So she told him that those all sounded fine and that she would get some of those too (not what we meant, aigh!) but that she'd gotten him the electric Ford F150 and an remote controlled dino. See, the electric car won't take up any room since it stays outside! Um. Well, we share a porch with the next door apartment, the porch faces a busy street and our yard isn't that big. So, um, I'm not entirely sure where we can store the thing where it won't get soaked or stolen. *sigh* And it showed up today, unwrapped, so we have to hide/store it somewhere for the next three weeks.

And the dino sounded random but ok, until I went and looked to find out that it's 2.5 ft long. I suggested to DH that we tell MIL that she has to be the one who asked DS whether he wants to get rid of his play kitchen or his art easel to make room. Maybe then she's understand what we're saying.

She also said that she bought him the entire geotrax geoair system and a playtent. And then got mad when DH told her he already has two playtents (which we got at the thrift store, darn it). I had suggested the geotrax set because it met her criteria of expensive and big and mine of being able to be taken apart and stored in a bin and expanding a toy he already has, but something like that was supposed to be his big present, not just another big present, lost in the commercial overload!

And I know I sound like an ungrateful bit-ca because lots of kids won't be getting much/anything this holiday season and here I am complaining that mine is getting too much, but the issue is really about how she just won't listen to us! We were trying to have a low key Xmas, a few presents for DS that we've really thought about and time as a family to get ready for the newbie.

She also got kindof irritated because we turned down her offer of a new couch and recliner (like her new ones since she just got a new set for her place and loves them), and yes, ours are nasty (but they match, which is a first for us, lol), but we bought them from a friend on purpose--after the kids are older and cleaner, lol, we'll see about replacing them.

Anyway, thanks for letting me get this off my chest--I need to be much calmer before she shows up when the newbie's born.

 

[USAmma]

I wonder if you can defer about half of those things for his bday? Or ask her to contribute an equal amnt of $ to his college fund? Maybe set up a fund for him and give them the info so they can deposit to it. It might make them rethink the big gifts. Those things are not cheap!!

 

[EviesMom]

Aiyiyi! I think your DH needs to handle it since it's his mother. But I would say no before your child receives them and send them back. Tell her very clearly that gifts have to be approved or you will send them to live at her house or will give them away and that you do not have room for giant things. You know, donating just one of the most heinous things would probably stop her from attempting that ever again. Just tell her thank you so much for the gift, and as etiquette states that you can do what you like with a gift once it's given, you have sent it on to a child in need of a toy and with space to spare.

 

[One_Girl]

Can you try to direct her to clothes or a toy box instead? Dd's grandma didn't start to understand that we had plenty of toys and no room for more until she got dd a gigantic toybox and helped her put all of her toys into it and saw that we still had a bunch left out that wouldn't fit. If that won't work then is it possible to put the dinosaur somewhere in your living room? It took me four years to get her grandma to start buying just one toy and then giving the rest of her gifts in practical things that she does need and I understand that it is very stressful to have to keep things that don't fit because you know that grandma is going to want to see them when she comes. Some good things did come out of some of her toys though, dd has two big toy horses because her grandma insisted on getting her a horse that stands on four legs even though I told her we'd just gotten her a rocking horse and even though I thought it would just be clutter it turns out that the toy her grandma got her is her favorite toy to play with and it has been very well loved.

 

[AllisonR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tuppence And the dino sounded random but ok, until I went and looked to find out that it's 2.5 ft long. I suggested to DH that we tell MIL that she has to be the one who asked DS whether he wants to get rid of his play kitchen or his art easel to make room. Maybe then she's understand what we're saying.

I think you should have DH call MIL and tell her this. I am not being flippant. Really. It would get the message through.

Maybe this isn't about gifts? Maybe MIL is trying to hint that you need to move and you need more space - which, if so, is not her call to make.