Whoa whoa WHOA!!!<br>
Wheres the "hold yer horses, missy!" icon?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"><br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by kama'aina mama</i><br><b>anothermama, I don't see that anyone was saying those people do it so it is okay for these people to do it. They are saying that<br>
A) Lately, by virtue of disagreeing without being disrespectful of others the membership has proven that we can usually air these differences without getting ugly about it. But you will never be able to raise subjects like that unchallenged... it just ain't gonna happen in either direction and I don't think anyone should have to apologize for it.<br>
B) It is not just liberals crashing the threads started by conservatives. The road runs both ways. For MaryKate or you to take along suffering pose after a couple of months here without knowing the history of the place and without having seen it happen in both directions makes you look a little silly. Some members who have been here longer are trying to explain to you that while yes, the sheer numbers of the situation make it statistically more likely that a conservative start thread will be disagreed with by liberals than that a liberal start thread attract dissent from conservative it is not as though it is an organized effort. It's just what happens in public forums.<br><br>
Does it feel like an onslaught when there are ten posts in disagreement to every one that supports your opinion? Of course. But I see no way around it. Shall we start randomly removing 60% of the posts that disagree with the OP? Only let a liberal into the Activism forum if they are partnered with a conservative so the numbers are always even? There really is no solution.<br><br>
Those of you who tend to hold the minority opinion have a choice. You can deal with the situation as it exists or you can decide that you prefer to only discuss these issues on other boards where your opinion is the majority. I think I speak for many when I say that it would be sad to lose your voices and your opinions, but it is, ultimately, your choice.</b></td>
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Look....I dont know you from Adam, nor you I.<br><br>
You don't have a clue what my opinion about abortion is because I haven't voiced it.<br><br>
You also don't know how long I've been at mothering because *gasp* people can change their handles. You don't know how long people LURK without registering too. You ALSO have no CLUE how long anyone here has been online and you have NO CLUE as to what their experiences are. Take away the words and your message NOW is "You haven't been here as long as I have so shut up, sit back, and wait till you are deemed worthy".<br>
Ugh. Although I'm not surprised...in my decade on the net I've seen that attitude a gazillion times.<br><br>
I chimed in because, as someone who wasn't involved in the discussion at all, honestly? It seemed like a bully fest. It seemed like because some people have been here longer (clique?) and knew they'd get "backed up" for their bullying, that they went with it and ran.<br><br>
I love mothering because it's the most community minded online forum I've EVER been on and the behavior I've seen in this issue has gone radically against everything else I know of MDC.<br><br>
Dissent happens. But it doesn't have to. And people can use the brains in their heads to say "Oh look! A million other people chimed in with snarky little comments similar to what I want to write, so maybe I'll hold my tounge". And I'm not just saying here...everywhere. EVERYONE feels the need to chime in, EVEN if what they are saying has already been said. And then it's just mean spirited bullying.<br><br>
People SHOULD be able to raise a topic unchallenged....people SHOULD NOT expect to be ganged up on when they go against a healthy, caring, functional community. If one CLEARLY just wants to talk and clearly does not want to argue, picking a fight is just mean. I would NEVER had expected the response that some ladies here got because this community seems to have more sense. And to say that a particular issue makes it ok to leave your niceness at the door and be purposefully hurtfull is not cool at all.<br><br>
Sometimes I just want to put all the people in a room at once because you know what? I'm a million percent sure you'd never have the nerve or lack of class to call me "silly" to my face, let alone some of the other nasty comments I've seen around these parts. And maybe if you can't say it to someones face, you should recosider a little of what you type.<br><br>
Just reduce the situation to it's bare essentials....you have a post that may or maynot have had a misleading title.....you read it, the content is clear, and many women made the choice to make some really snarky comments that they KNEW were mean spirited. I mean...it happened...theres no changing it....but making up all sorts of wordy excuses for bad behavior just is in poor taste. Just say "yeah, I acted badly" and move on. People behave badly all the time. I do. We all do. It happens. And sometimes maybe it's ok to just admit it and move on rather than further your reputation for being mean and trying to justify bad behavior.<br><br>
Think about if it were your child....<br>
"Sally hit me!"<br>
Why?<br>
"Well...because she hit me first!"<br>
Well, it's not nice to hit...you shouldn't have hit her.<br>
"BUT! She hit me first AND it was really hard AND all my friends said I SHOULD hit her AND they all hit her TOO AND she says it was an accident but I know that she really was just trying to be mean and so that makes it even WORSE AND so, mom, you're wrong! I SHOULD have hit her and I'm gonna go hit her AGAIN!".<br><br>
Hrm.<br><br>
Still boils down to "Hey...lets play nice, ok?"<br><br>
If you are going to name call, take it to a PM please. Sheesh.
