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I was just wondering(nicely) why when someone conservitive posts thread(pro-life,republican etc,.) why do the "other side" have to jump in and start this "attack" on us? I don't think(?) us conservitives get on their (other side) threads (pro-choice liberal etc,.) and attack them for what they stand for? In all honesty I was wondering. I am not being mean here. If a pro-choicer wants to voice their opinion on something thats fine and dandy but on a thread for pro-lifers? Just wondering.<br>
I am just using pro-choice-pro-life for an example. I have nothing against any of them.
 

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MaryKate, you are mistaken if you think its always fine and dandy when abortion is the topic. That simply isnt so. There have been many many threads devoted to the prochoice/prolife issue and it gets pretty hairy, no matter who starts it! Liberal, conservative, its usually fierce and white hot.<br><br>
And sometimes its the person starting it, and how they start it. Is the OP argumentative? Hostile, inflammatory? Saying "baby killer" always gets people crazy, even some pro lifers dont like it.<br><br>
I think maybe you go to the archives and see how this topic goes.
 

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Because, Marykate, these threads aren't segregated. This is a discussion forum. If you post something here you have to realize that it is fair game for criticism. If one wants to start a discussion and include only those that agree wtih them, then a message board really isn't the appropriate forum.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by mahdokht</i><br><b>Because, Marykate, these threads aren't segregated. This is a discussion forum. If you post something here you have to realize that it is fair game for criticism. If one wants to start a discussion and include only those that agree wtih them, then a message board really isn't the appropriate forum.</b></td>
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Yikes<br><br>
Ladies, lets own our actions, shall we?<br><br>
I mean, just because you CAN do something doesn't mean it's nice or respectful to do so.
 

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I think that with such a hot subject, and a misleading title, plus inflammatory remarks, what else would you expect but for people who feel strongly opposed to the topic to post as well.<br><br>
Either way, I think that the original post was provoking and this is a message board for everyone to reply on.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by anothermama</i><br><b>Yikes<br><br>
Ladies, lets own our actions, shall we?<br><br>
I mean, just because you CAN do something doesn't mean it's nice or respectful to do so.</b></td>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"> What are you talking about? Who is not "owning" their action? That is really the nature of message boards, where pretty much anyone can register and post. I agree that just because you can do something does not mean that you should, but if you are going to post a traditionally conservative viewpoint on an overwhelmingly liberal message board, the in my opinion its naive to think that you won't get any response that is critical of your viewpoints.<br><br>
The OP asked a question and I answered.
 

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It honestly happens both ways MaryKate. That past few days it has just been more heavily the more conservative posters having their "parties" crashed, if you will. BUt having been here for a while, there is plenty of the opposite that happens as well.<br><br>
It is a public discussion board. If you post something, people will answer. More importantly if you post something on the Activism board, and someone disagrees, You are certainly going to get a response. It is unrealistic to expect otherwise.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I don't think(?) us conservitives get on their (other side) threads (pro-choice liberal etc,.) and attack them for what they stand for?</td>
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Well, it's happened. They came on a thread that was titled "pro-choice sisters" or something and started in with their abstinence this-and-that, when there was already a pro-life thread going on.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I think a lot of people do it, and not just about political issues. Sometimes it's formula-feeding trolls, and sometimes it's established MDC members.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by Greaseball</i><br><b>Well, it's happened. They came on a thread that was titled "pro-choice sisters" or something and started in with their abstinence this-and-that, when there was already a pro-life thread going on.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I think a lot of people do it, and not just about political issues. Sometimes it's formula-feeding trolls, and sometimes it's established MDC members.</b></td>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"><br><br>
So that makes it ok? "They did it to us do we get to do it right back!!! Nyah nyah!"?????<br><br>
Really?<br><br>
Everyone is freaking out about a midleading title....but you read the post...it was clear what it was about.......so??? Horn in and be snarky and then try to justify it???<br><br>
It's just not nice, respectful, or community oriented.<br><br>
Again, just because one CAN doesn't mean one SHOULD and it doesn't make the actions ok, you know?<br><br>
I guess I can understand trying to provide "equal time" commentary, and I do understand the jilted feeling if it's "been done to you", but it just seems to create that infamous vicious cycle.<br><br>
And just because it's a well established liberal message board that makes it ok to bash the minority of conservatives? Ever heard the phrase "gang mentality"?? "Hey! Most of us believe this and if you dont conform you are fair game to get the meat beat out of ya!!!". ?????<br><br>
Thats not ok. No matter how much you justify your actions it still doesn't mean they are ok.<br><br>
Maybe thats just my skewed middle of the road perspective though....
 

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anothermama, I don't see that anyone was saying those people do it so it is okay for these people to do it. They are saying that<br>
A)like it or not dissent is a fact of life... particularly on hot button issues. For a very long time MDC had a standing rule against any discussion of abortion because it always got so ugly on both sides. Lately, by virtue of disagreeing without being disrespectful of others the membership has proven that we can usually air these differences without getting ugly about it. But you will never be able to raise subjects like that unchallenged... it just ain't gonna happen in either direction and I don't think anyone should have to apologize for it.<br>
B) It is not just liberals crashing the threads started by conservatives. The road runs both ways. For MaryKate or you to take along suffering pose after a couple of months here without knowing the history of the place and without having seen it happen in both directions makes you look a little silly. Some members who have been here longer are trying to explain to you that while yes, the sheer numbers of the situation make it statistically more likely that a conservative start thread will be disagreed with by liberals than that a liberal start thread attract dissent from conservative it is not as though it is an organized effort. It's just what happens in public forums.<br><br>
Does it feel like an onslaught when there are ten posts in disagreement to every one that supports your opinion? Of course. But I see no way around it. Shall we start randomly removing 60% of the posts that disagree with the OP? Only let a liberal into the Activism forum if they are partnered with a conservative so the numbers are always even? There really is no solution.<br><br>
Those of you who tend to hold the minority opinion have a choice. You can deal with the situation as it exists or you can decide that you prefer to only discuss these issues on other boards where your opinion is the majority. I think I speak for many when I say that it would be sad to lose your voices and your opinions, but it is, ultimately, your choice.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">So that makes it ok? "They did it to us do we get to do it right back!!! Nyah nyah!"?????</td>
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No, once again, well you know what you've done. Where in my post did I say it was ok? Where did I say I had ever done anything like that? I'm saying I've been part of a thread where that happened.<br><br>
I was saying it's not just "the liberals" that are crashing threads, I'm saying EVERYONE DOES IT, so get off the high horse!
 

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Whoa whoa WHOA!!!<br>
Wheres the "hold yer horses, missy!" icon?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"><br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by kama'aina mama</i><br><b>anothermama, I don't see that anyone was saying those people do it so it is okay for these people to do it. They are saying that<br>
A) Lately, by virtue of disagreeing without being disrespectful of others the membership has proven that we can usually air these differences without getting ugly about it. But you will never be able to raise subjects like that unchallenged... it just ain't gonna happen in either direction and I don't think anyone should have to apologize for it.<br>
B) It is not just liberals crashing the threads started by conservatives. The road runs both ways. For MaryKate or you to take along suffering pose after a couple of months here without knowing the history of the place and without having seen it happen in both directions makes you look a little silly. Some members who have been here longer are trying to explain to you that while yes, the sheer numbers of the situation make it statistically more likely that a conservative start thread will be disagreed with by liberals than that a liberal start thread attract dissent from conservative it is not as though it is an organized effort. It's just what happens in public forums.<br><br>
Does it feel like an onslaught when there are ten posts in disagreement to every one that supports your opinion? Of course. But I see no way around it. Shall we start randomly removing 60% of the posts that disagree with the OP? Only let a liberal into the Activism forum if they are partnered with a conservative so the numbers are always even? There really is no solution.<br><br>
Those of you who tend to hold the minority opinion have a choice. You can deal with the situation as it exists or you can decide that you prefer to only discuss these issues on other boards where your opinion is the majority. I think I speak for many when I say that it would be sad to lose your voices and your opinions, but it is, ultimately, your choice.</b></td>
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Look....I dont know you from Adam, nor you I.<br><br>
You don't have a clue what my opinion about abortion is because I haven't voiced it.<br><br>
You also don't know how long I've been at mothering because *gasp* people can change their handles. You don't know how long people LURK without registering too. You ALSO have no CLUE how long anyone here has been online and you have NO CLUE as to what their experiences are. Take away the words and your message NOW is "You haven't been here as long as I have so shut up, sit back, and wait till you are deemed worthy".<br>
Ugh. Although I'm not surprised...in my decade on the net I've seen that attitude a gazillion times.<br><br>
I chimed in because, as someone who wasn't involved in the discussion at all, honestly? It seemed like a bully fest. It seemed like because some people have been here longer (clique?) and knew they'd get "backed up" for their bullying, that they went with it and ran.<br><br>
I love mothering because it's the most community minded online forum I've EVER been on and the behavior I've seen in this issue has gone radically against everything else I know of MDC.<br><br>
Dissent happens. But it doesn't have to. And people can use the brains in their heads to say "Oh look! A million other people chimed in with snarky little comments similar to what I want to write, so maybe I'll hold my tounge". And I'm not just saying here...everywhere. EVERYONE feels the need to chime in, EVEN if what they are saying has already been said. And then it's just mean spirited bullying.<br><br>
People SHOULD be able to raise a topic unchallenged....people SHOULD NOT expect to be ganged up on when they go against a healthy, caring, functional community. If one CLEARLY just wants to talk and clearly does not want to argue, picking a fight is just mean. I would NEVER had expected the response that some ladies here got because this community seems to have more sense. And to say that a particular issue makes it ok to leave your niceness at the door and be purposefully hurtfull is not cool at all.<br><br>
Sometimes I just want to put all the people in a room at once because you know what? I'm a million percent sure you'd never have the nerve or lack of class to call me "silly" to my face, let alone some of the other nasty comments I've seen around these parts. And maybe if you can't say it to someones face, you should recosider a little of what you type.<br><br>
Just reduce the situation to it's bare essentials....you have a post that may or maynot have had a misleading title.....you read it, the content is clear, and many women made the choice to make some really snarky comments that they KNEW were mean spirited. I mean...it happened...theres no changing it....but making up all sorts of wordy excuses for bad behavior just is in poor taste. Just say "yeah, I acted badly" and move on. People behave badly all the time. I do. We all do. It happens. And sometimes maybe it's ok to just admit it and move on rather than further your reputation for being mean and trying to justify bad behavior.<br><br>
Think about if it were your child....<br>
"Sally hit me!"<br>
Why?<br>
"Well...because she hit me first!"<br>
Well, it's not nice to hit...you shouldn't have hit her.<br>
"BUT! She hit me first AND it was really hard AND all my friends said I SHOULD hit her AND they all hit her TOO AND she says it was an accident but I know that she really was just trying to be mean and so that makes it even WORSE AND so, mom, you're wrong! I SHOULD have hit her and I'm gonna go hit her AGAIN!".<br><br>
Hrm.<br><br>
Still boils down to "Hey...lets play nice, ok?"<br><br>
If you are going to name call, take it to a PM please. Sheesh.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by Greaseball</i><br><b>No, once again, well you know what you've done. Where in my post did I say it was ok? Where did I say I had ever done anything like that? I'm saying I've been part of a thread where that happened.<br><br>
I was saying it's not just "the liberals" that are crashing threads, I'm saying EVERYONE DOES IT, so get off the high horse!</b></td>
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Well, if you aren't trying to say that "They did it so it's ok if I do it" then what the heck is your point in even MENTIONING it? Yeah...we know everyone does it. We are all grown ups. Uhm....most people have a point for speaking/typing....<br><br>
I know what I've done? M'am, if you have some personal issue with me, PM me. Don't turn other arguments into your personal vendetta place.<br><br>
High horse? Uhm.............sure.....................ok<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/sulkoff.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="tiptoe">
 

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No, it's not just you...my issue is with people who complain "Oh poor me, I'm an oppressed christian republican and no one wants to listen to me, no one agrees with my posts..." and then that same person (not anyone on this thread) will do the same thing to the "liberal" threads.<br><br>
There are all kinds of threads in support of different religious and political views. If someone can't find any christian or republican moms here, they are not looking very hard.<br><br>
To me this is an example of "the conservatives" complaining about what "the liberals" do, and then doing the same things themselves.
 

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MaryKate said:
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">why when someone conservitive posts thread(pro-life,republican etc,.) why do the "other side" have to jump in and start this "attack" on us? I don't think(?) us conservitives get on their (other side) threads (pro-choice liberal etc,.) and attack them for what they stand for? In all honesty I was wondering.</td>
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I (and one other poster) pointed out that she is mistaken. Those who share her opinions have, on many occasions, spoken up to disagree on threads witha liberal slant. To move forward with this discussion as though that practice is something that is strictly practiced by liberal posters to victimize conservative posters is somewhere between intellectually dishonest and simply mistaken. Because both of you have newish join dates listed I gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you simply didn't know that. But maybe I was wrong to do that. Now that you have given me your online resume I guess you are just being intellectually dishonest.<br><br>
Why do you bring up my lack of knowledge about your views on abortion? I simply followed suit with the OP to use that as an example of a hot topic. Don't care what your views on teh subject are... just want you to understand that whatever they are there is someone here who disagrees with you and because of the nature of this forum... if you state your views they have every right to state theirs in response.<br><br>
I have no idea what bullyfest you are talking about. This thread has been pretty civil. No one is ganging up. I do disagree with you that people should be able to raise a topic unchallenged. Maybe some topics, maybe some places... but not here.<br><br>
And on the subject of not knowing one another from Eve (I'm pretty sure the penis or lack of one would make knowing either of us from Adam simple) I will remind you that as you don't know me you have no idea what I may or may not call you if we were discussing this in person. And I didn't call you silly.. I said your behavior made you look that way. There is a difference, actually.<br><br>
I have no idea what your deceptive title comments relate to nor why any of this reminds you of kids hitting each other so I'm just gonna let that go on by.
 

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I totally agree with you, MaryKate.<br>
If I were to write a thread entitled "For Pro-Choice Mamas Only", I would hope that everyone here would respect that and move on to something else that they can debate or support. And vice versa... if someone were to entitle a thread "Anyone Going to the Prolife Rally?", I would be thoroughly disgusted that someone would have to go in and sh*tstir just because they don't agree with it.<br>
Yeah, it's a public forum, but that doesn't mean it's respectful to jump in when the original poster specifically requested a thread for support only.
 

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The question of "Support ONLY Please" type threads has been raised before. In general, posting that in a title will garner the results you want, but it's not foolproof. There are simply some people (with a wide variety of opinions) who just cannot/ will not pass up an opportunity to say something. I'm not saying I like that fact, simply that I know it to be true. Sometimes people use that kind of request in the title as a kind of carte blanche to say outragous, inflammatory things that others find it impossible not to try to correct. (again... on all sides)
 

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I admit it.<br><br>
I DIDN'T know what the "March for Life" was. Honestly, I thought it was something like Hilary brought up (anti-execution or the like). I felt like I had been *tricked* almost into looking it up and getting my eyes burned by all the hate on the pages I saw. If it had been titled, "pro-life support" or the like I wouldn't have looked (or if I did, wouldn't have posted).<br><br>
That said, I wasn't actually debating or increasing people's awareness, I probably should have said nothing.
 

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I believe another solution to the problem presented is to post a thread in "Finding Your Tribe." That way, if you're merely looking for supportive posts, you're most likely to achieve that result, as it's the point of that forum.<br><br>
On the other hand, if you post in Activism, then you - anyone, for that matter, with any opinion on just about any topic - better be prepared for dissent.<br><br>
And just for the record:<br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Sometimes I just want to put all the people in a room at once because you know what? I'm a million percent sure you'd never have the nerve or lack of class to call me "silly" to my face, let alone some of the other nasty comments I've seen around these parts. And maybe if you can't say it to someones face, you should recosider a little of what you type.</td>
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I personally have both the nerve and the utter lack of class, if that's what you want to call it, to be quite certain that, if we were in a room together, I'd say exactly what I say on this board to your face. I'd also hazard a guess that I'm not the only one here who could legitimately say this.
 

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Wait... are we discussing MaryKate's question or are we discussing another thread? Because discussing other threads is a no-no and having had my knuckles rapped for it once... I ain't a gonna do it no more. I was responding to the OP and other comments here. Had no clue what others were talking about til I read Tired's post.
 
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