[Emilyann]

So I am 26 weeks today and have gained a wopping 40 lbs. And I am miserable.

Granted I was very underweight and maybe ate 2,000 calories in a week before I got pregnant. Now I'm eating like I should be, probably not as healthy though, and I am at 170 lbs.

My sister keeps telling me that it was bound to happen. I went from a size 11 to size 6 in less than 2 months and I also smoked almost 2 packs of Malboro Reds everyday.

I was between 155-160 a couple of months before the pregnancy so I guess I'm just putting on what I lost.

Im just so miserable. Nothing fits, I can't stand to look at myself and I always start tearing up when I go to the doctor. Maybe I need to start excercising since I really don't. Oh I hate my life right now but I know my little butterbean will love me no matter how big I am.

 

[Rosemarino]

Emilyann, sounds like you "understand" why you've gained the weight, but it doesn't make it any easier. Hugs.

 

[Emilyann]

I do, I just wanted to vent. I've decided I need to lose the weight the healthy and right way this time. So next pregnancy I can fully enjoy it instead of feeling guilty everytime I eat.

 

[Jane]

You sound just right to me.
In my professional experience, weight lost just prior to pregnancy tends to reappear really quickly. It's as if it never left or has GPS to come back!
If you quit smoking, that's 7-15 pounds right there, in combating the oral fixation!
Don't worry about what is done. It's already happened and cannot be changed.
You're going to gain another 20-25 from here on out. It's okay. It's what needs to happen. Plenty of women gain 70 pounds in pregnancy and are back to a reasonable shape by 7 months post partum. In your case, I would suspect that you don't want to return to 2000 calories a week and 2 packs a day, so your goals may be different. But you are just fine right as you are.
Do you have clothes that fit? That helps.

 

[Emilyann]

Thanks!! the 7-15lbs from quitting smoking makes me feel better. I didnt think it could be that much! And it makes me feel better to know its normal for me atleast with all the circumstances. Im sure the potato cravings don't help either haha

I definitely do not want to return to my unhealthy habits. I dont want my little girl to pick up on anything like that. A friend of mine told me he would work with me to set up a diet and excercise plan after the baby comes.

But my weight gain isnt unhealthy for the baby, correct? This is just what my body needs to do?

Everytime I feel her kick I tell myself that atleast I get a cute little baby out of this and Im not just gaining it for no reason!

I do have some things that fit but Im gaining so much my clothes seem to get tighter and tighter. I need to just suck it up and buy clothes too big so I have room to grow!

I really do appreciate it and Im going to take your advice. I definitely cannot lose weight right now so Im not going to worry about it! But I can stop the midnight cookie runs for now

 

[emmaegbert]

if you were underweight/undernourished then it makes sense.

fwiw when you feel hungry (like not at mealtimes I mean) you could try eating high protein (and high fat, at least, if its unprocessed fat), but NOT sugar and starch (i/e cookies and potatoes). It may fill you up more with the nutrition your body is craving. That helps me a lot, but obviously it doesn't address the emotional side of cravings (for tasty treats). Ah well.

and do get yourself a couple of outfits that fit. I think you really will feel better in nicely fitting clothes. nobody can wear their prepregnancy clothes the whole time! Pack your "small" clothes into a box and save them for later.

I had lost ~35lbs in the year before I got pregnant, and its been kind of hard to get big again, though in my case I can see that its mostly the belly (its also my third pregnancy so I realize I will keep on getting bigger until I have the baby).

 

[StephandOwen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emilyann

But my weight gain isnt unhealthy for the baby, correct?

With my ds I gained just under 70lb. I also quit smoking the day I found out I was pregnant. There was no health effect on my ds. He was just under 9lb and did develop jaundice, but I don't think that had anything to do with my weight gain.

After I had ds, a lot of the weight melted off (i was not exercising, eating only ok and breastfeeding). When ds was around 1 year, I started exercising and eating better. I will be honest though- I never got back down to the same size/shape I was before I got pregnant. But I loved my body MORE than I did before I got pregnant with ds.

This time I've gained 21lb at week 28. More than I wanted to, but it's okay. I will gain as much as my body needs to, and i'll work on healthy ways of losing it after the baby is born.

 

[frugalmum]

Can you stop weighing yourself? It's impossible to tell, with pregnancy, how much weight is extra blood volume, water retention, placenta ... not to mention a baby who gains the most in the 3rd trimester. I would say a good 20 pounds isn't even "fat" at all. I retain a huge amount of water when I'm pregnant. Just try to eat healthy-- I know "healthy" is a debatable term but most nutrition philosophies say sugar and heavily refined grains can be disposed of. Just try to stay away from sugar and move a little more, even if just a 5 minute walk a day!

 

[Amy May]

Emilyann, first of all, HUGE CONGRAULATIONS to you on quitting smoking. That is a WONDERFUL and awesome thing you did to care for yourself and your baby. Please give yourself credit here, because quitting smoking is a gigantic healthy step.

Also, I want to encourage you that a "healthy" pregnancy isn't all-or-nothing. Maybe there are little things you can do now, during the last trimester, to have a healthy impact on your pregnancy. As far as exercise, do you think you could find 30 minutes a few times a week (at lunch, or in the evenings) to go on a walk? That definitely counts as movement, and not only will it help you to relieve stress, lower blood pressure, etc, it is also a loving way to care for yourself and your baby. As far as nutrition, you mentioned that you feel like you're doing OK, and eating enough, but not as healthy as you would like to eat. It might help to make small changes... can you add 1 fruit and 1 vegetable a day to your diet? Can you add another liter of water to whatever you're already drinking? If you eat out a lot, or eat fast food, could you try packing a healthy lunch one day? I'm trying to emphasize that maybe it is not realistic to do a complete life-overhaul of your diet, exercise, and lifestyle, and isn't necessarily a good idea anyway. Instead, be encouraged that there are a ton of tiny little steps you can take (just do a few each day) that will help you feel better.

Personally, I also believe there is a huge connection to our perceptions and our emotions- meaning that by making very tiny healthy and positive changes (but not attempting to change everything in your life), you may find yourself feeling SO much better about how your body is growing this baby of yours. Keep your chin up, and best of luck to you.

 

[Kindermama]

I gained over 70+lbs with my first and 35-40 with the last two. So far, at 16 weeks (I'm sort of DDC---miscarried our October baby in March but I still check in here sometimes), I've gained 14-15lbs.

I lost all the weight after every baby just by nursing and walking! Many women need to gain lots more---with your undereating prior to pregnancy, just trust that your body knows exactly what to do to bring a healthy baby into this world and nourish it from your body in its first year!

 

[scottishmommy]

DDCC to say that I've gained 40 lbs at 31 weeks. I gained a ton in the first trimester, and have been only gaining a pound a week since 20 weeks. I just quit eating any sugar and the weight stopped piling on. Regardless, your baby will be fine. Go buy some nice maternity clothes that fit. You will feel so much better! And big congrats on quitting smoking. You should be so proud of yourself!

 

[justgonnadoulait]

Perhaps seeing other heavily pregnant women will help? I've been fortunate in that I've always thought pregnant bodies were very beautiful, and I've seen many kinds of pregnant bodies. Even the small women really fill out. I think it's flattering and appears fruitful and powerful. Ignore the pregnant models from maternity catalogs and such, those women were picked specifically because they don't look pregnant anywhere except their bellies. That's not a common body type. Seeing large, healthy, pregnant women might help your image of a beautiful body type. Maybe put fertility statues around your house (if that's not too hippie-ish for you)? I think those things subtly creep into our subconscious and it helps just having positive images around.

Exercise, I suspect, would help tremendously. Just going on a walk fast enough to increase your breathing a little bit might make you feel powerful and engaged in your body. Not only will it help you in labor, but blood volumes about doubles in pregnancy and that's a lot of extra work for your heart. Keeping your heart healthy is important, especially for people who have smoked a lot. Also massage has most of the same benefits as exercise, plus it will help you de-stress.

I love being active, but hate just about anything that is considered "exercise". Cranking up the music and dancing your @$$ off when no one is home is great exercise and wonderful for your pelvic muscles. Or take a dance class.

Body image issues aren't something that just go away because you think positive thoughts, and I think we all struggle to some degree with how we look. But reminding yourself that you were undernourished before, that your negative thinking is just that, and that your body is growing because it's doing really important work, may help you balance out the negative thoughts with some positive ones. And maybe try to love yourself the way you'd like to be loved? Good luck

 

[Emilyann]

Thanks! I have been feeling a bit better. Ive been drinking waay more water and eating fruits instead of cookies, which is probably hardest of all! I've realized most of my low self esteem is coming from the ads and friends and family. My sister was trying to make me feel better and said not to worry..No pregnant chicks look good. That hurt my feelings, and everytime I see someone I havent seen in a few weeks the first thing they say is 'Wow, look how big you are!" My best friend really gets to me because everyday she tells me Im having a butt baby and laughs about my wide load. I think pregnancy has just made me overly sensitive. I cant wait for my little one to get here. Atleast I get a cute baby after this!

Quote:

Originally Posted by justgonnadoulait

Ignore the pregnant models from maternity catalogs and such, those women were picked specifically because they don't look pregnant anywhere except their bellies. That's not a common body type. Seeing large, healthy, pregnant women might help your image of a beautiful body type.

 

[Snugglebugmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emilyann

My best friend really gets to me because everyday she tells me Im having a butt baby and laughs about my wide load. I think pregnancy has just made me overly sensitive.

Umm.... I don't think you are being overly sensitive at all. Best friend or not, that is just rude! I would be offended by that as well, and especially if it has to be said every day. It's not funny, it's hurtful. You have every right to tell her to stop being so insensitive and keep her opinions of your baby and your body to herself.

 

[Rosemarino]

What a horrible thing to say.

 

[justgonnadoulait]

I forgot to add that while many of the moms in my due date club have gained 15 pounds or sometimes less, I've gained 40! Oddly I'm still kinda small. And though I have no stretch marks on my belly, I have gotten them on my breasts, and more recently the backside of my bum, which surprised me. I know it's grown a lot, but I didn't think that much. I think I'll even have to go up a size on my stretch pants for goodness sake! It's very strange to have gone from size S underwear and B bra, to large underwear and F or G bra. There are aspects I'm not comfortable with (it's uncomfortable and I don't like the stretch marks), mostly I really love my full ripe body! And I like when people say how big I've gotten, it feels productive.

And that's really not a cool thing for your friend to say. I have kind of a harsh tongue and might say something like "and you look tired and old (or whatever fits). We're playing the 'let's point out the obvious' game right?"

My husband calls me his "hungry hungry hippo", but I think it's funny and he checked in to make sure I didn't take it seriously. But we often have unflattering pet names for each other.

 

[Emilyann]

Im so happy we've gained the same amount haha Sorry if thats rude! But yeah, Im having to wear my mothers bras now, Ive gone from a full B to a full D, which I guess is okay with me. Every time get upset about my weight I just count my lucky stars I havent gotten any stretch marks yet but Im sure they are coming!

And Im glad Im not in the wrong for being upset..Everytime I try to express how something makes me feel for the most part, Im told Im being a baby about it. I did say something to my friend and she apologized. We've always made jokes about each other but its so much different when you're pregnant. Its not like I can just go to the gym and work off my 'wide load' anytime I want. Its really funny because out of everyone I know my dad has been the most supportive about my weight. Anytime I say something he tells me theres nothing I can do about it becuase you're supposed to be fat and pregnant so I can give him a healthy grand baby, and then he offers to buy me McDonalds to make me feel better hahaha Ive been doing really good about not eating fast food and doubling up on my veggies and fruits though and I do feel a lot better.

After my showers, I usually will look at myself in the mirror before getting dressed and Ive been good about telling myself how good I look and how a pregnant body is a beautiful body so I am getting much more comfrotable with it!

 

[Emilyann]

Also I am having the worst pain in my right hip! I dont think it would be so bad if it wasnt for the fact that my hip were in bad condition before my pregnancy due to an accident. Its starts at night and i try different sleeping positions, walking, stretching, pillows, nothing helps and its getting worse everyday...Tylonely doesnt do much and I hate taking it more than once a day, though I know its safe..any suggestions?

 

[AKChix0r]

I had three weeks of ridiculous pain because of the baby's position, and I wonder if your hip pain is positional too... I highly, highly suggest getting down on your hands and knees anytime your baby is awake and moving and any time you are I'n pain and doing the cat arc/belly thwomp/pelvic thrust things. It really helped encourage the baby to move into a better position, and I've been sleeping without pain for a few weeks now. Our childbirth educator also taught us this really cool jiggling thing that DH can do to my belly with a blanket or scarf when I'm in that position to "encourage" the baby to move. I wish I could remember what it is called, but it is AWESOME.

Hang in there, though. I know how much it sucks to be in pain you can't fix.

I was taking Tylenol, using heat pads, etc and was still miserable and not sleeping.

 

[Amy May]

Are you referring to Rebozo technique? Glad to hear that it is working so well for you, AKChix0r, and same with the cat/cow moves... I am such a fan of those! If I'm having a stressful day of work, I'll even do a modified version just standing up, and flexing and rounding my back. It is so helpful to remind me to relax and let go of tension!

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKChix0r

I had three weeks of ridiculous pain because of the baby's position, and I wonder if your hip pain is positional too... I highly, highly suggest getting down on your hands and knees anytime your baby is awake and moving and any time you are I'n pain and doing the cat arc/belly thwomp/pelvic thrust things. It really helped encourage the baby to move into a better position, and I've been sleeping without pain for a few weeks now. Our childbirth educator also taught us this really cool jiggling thing that DH can do to my belly with a blanket or scarf when I'm in that position to "encourage" the baby to move. I wish I could remember what it is called, but it is AWESOME.

Hang in there, though. I know how much it sucks to be in pain you can't fix.

I was taking Tylenol, using heat pads, etc and was still miserable and not sleeping.