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WOW.<br><br>
DD is SO contrary right now - I'm just wondering how many others have dealt with this? I think it's age-related.<br><br>
Ina has always been independent and stubborn (traits we like actually) - but for the past couple weeks, she has been purely contrary. If the sky is blue, she'll say it's red. We joke that she's destined to be the Presidential Press Secretary. She just repeats things as if saying them often enough will make them true. And, it's obvious that sometimes she doesn't WANT them to be true which is what confuses me.<br><br>
For instance, yesterday we left the park and she didn't want to go. I told her, "We'll go to the park tomorrow." And she replied that, no, we would NOT go to the park tomorrow. I told her that, yes, we would. But she countered with, "It will be too cold. It will rain. We won't go tomorrow! We can't go tomorrow!"<br><br>
I think she was just rehearsing all the potential reasons that we might not go 'tomorrow' that she's run up against over the years .... ? And trying to live in the moment and stay 'til it DID start raining! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
"It's supper time" is met with, "It is NOT supper time!" ... Bath time, time to go to the store (which she loves), etc. It doesn't matter, she disagrees.<br><br>
I wonder whether dh and I may be being too sarcastic with each other and sometimes with her, and that's contributing? We both have pretty dry senses of humor .... ? So, things like, "Oh, SJ, surely you don't have a dirty diaper, babies don't have those do they?" etc. are said frequently in our house....<br><br>
We've been trying to talk Ina through this and not make it a big deal but it is REALLY frustrating dh because sometimes the "No, it's NOT" responses are towards him and he feels like it's disrespectful .... I think she's testing boundaries and just in a phase.... Are there any suggestions of ways to handle this? How long did your kids go through this phase?<br><br>
(A few other examples - When we tell her that she needs to be quiet because dh is on the phone, or SJ is napping, she'll say that dh isn't on the phone, or SJ isn't napping; ask her to pick up her toys, she'll say that the floor ISN'T messy, etc. She will often go ahead and do what we're asking her to do, but will protest while she's doing it that it doesn't need doing. She will also do this about going to the bathroom - she'll say that she doesn't need to go, when she's actually dancing around trying not to go; or she'll say she doesn't want to go before bed (when she and we all know that if she doesn't go beforehand, she'll wake during the night and need to go....) -- Or, if we say "You're so tall!" she'll say she isn't; tell her she's little, she'll say she's big; respond that she's right, she really is big and then she'll tell us she's little. Thank her for helping set the table, she'll say she didn't help set it ... things like this??)
 

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DS1 who is nearly 4 does this to some degree. However, his best-friend neighbor and car-pooler with us = super contrary. I think he has always been that way to some degree, but now that this friend is also 3 1/2 - Holy Guacamole! He is certainly in the "sky is red" catagory. My DS1 actually gets upset after a while talking with him because he contridicts just about anything anyone else says for no apparent reason.<br><br>
His mom jokes that they have tried telling him the opposite of things ("Be really loud!!") when they want him to do something.<br><br>
I have no specific instructions other than that most of it is a phase and butting heads over it with DC isn't likely to accomplish anything.
 

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My son is definitely in the more contrary than others camp, as has been noted by several people he knows well. When he's being contrary about something he doesn't have an option with, like safety issues or when it's absolutely time to leave the park, etc, then I repeat myself once and then just pick him up and do what we need to do. When it's something that he has a choice on, I let him live with his contrary choice. You DON'T want to go to the park, well OK! You DON'T want to eat breakfast before preschool, hey, it's your body! and so on. When he has to start living with his choices (and of course he usually changes his mind and eats breakfast or whatever), I think he starts to realize how being so contrary is just not a fun way to go through life.<br><br>
Other than that, I just take a deep breath and tell myself it's just a phase that we need to go through.
 

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Yes, my DD is EXACTLY like this (down to insisting she doesn't have to pee when she obviously does). Sometimes it works to just say neutrally, "Okay, you don't have to pee" (for instance) and walk away, rather than engaging. I think for some kids it's just fun/exciting to argue and attempt to wield power. Aggravating, though, huh??
 
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