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Molar Pregnancy

833 Views 8 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  jayayenay
Man....I am so so sad. I can't stop crying and I feel so vulnerable...I don't know what to do.

Went to the doctor today because I had been having brown discharge for several weeks. Language is a barrier to begin with, so when the doc got finished with the ultrasound, he really didn't know what to say. He asked to talk to my husband, but he doesn't speak any more Japanese than I do. I saw the ultrasound pic...the grape like cloud... and told him I did some research at home and it looked like a molar pregnancy. He confirmed that much, but I don't know if it is partial or full. I am really scared. Please, if anyone has gone through this, share your story. I feel lost.
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My second (out of four) m/c was molar. It was definitely the hardest one for me, because we never had a confirmed heartbeat. I kept thinking that maybe my dates were wrong - if we just waited a few more days, that heartbeat would show up. Of course, all of mine were missed m/c, which means I didn't expel the baby naturally - I had to have help from the doctor (and I have definite opinions on the best way to do that, if you're in that place).

For me, the key was that my doctor didn't rush me into "doing something about it". She was willing to wait and see if my body would proceed naturally, and give me time to accept the idea. I think it was about a week before I agreed, though I wish I'd waited longer. I was still haunted by "what if" for months afterwards.

With the language barrier, it might be tougher for you, but I'd encourage you to not rush into a medical intervention before you're ready. It'll only complicate the healing process.

Feel free to ask any questions you like.

My third pg was a molar pg. It was really hard on me for several reasons. I was 16 weeks when I started to mc and I'd had a cerclage placed the week before so I ended up with 2 surgeries in one week. Looking back I should have known all along that something was wrong because when they did an u/s at 10 weeks the baby was only 7 weeks size. I should have know that I couldn't have had a pos pg test at only 1 week post O (this was in 1996, the tests weren't very strong). Anyway, so we waited a few weeks to let the baby mature more and then did the stitch. The baby still had a heartbeat otherwise we would have never done the stitch. BUT, if we had done another u/s we probably would have known.

I didn't wait to m/c naturally because they had to take the stitch out anyway and I didn't know much about m/cing naturally. OTOH, I think I would have had a D&C anyway because then they know for sure that all of the cancerous tissue is out. I took a pg test for 2 months after the D&C to make sure it wasn't growing and then I started TTC again.

It's actually pretty unusual for a molar pg to even have a heartbeat. I remember when I woke up from the surgery. I was barely even awake and suddenly it hit me that I was not pg anymore. I said to the nurse "I'm not pg anymore, am I?" and I started crying. It's one of the hardest things I've ever been through.

(((HUGS))) to you. LMK if you need to talk.
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I'm so sorry! My first pg was a molar...I had bleeding and cramping around 9 or 10 weeks and went in to the ER. They did an u/s and mine was a full molar. My body m/c-ed late that night but the bleeding scared me so I ended up in the ER again and they suctioned everything out. I had a bunch of blood tests until my levels were back down. Mine was not cancerous but that was a hard thing to think about on top of not being pg. It was also hard that people seemed to think it was fine since there wasn't a baby. I think I felt like I couldn't grieve and it made the grieving process last longer. I guess I shared all that to say, even if it is a full molar, give yourself permission to feel as sad you do.

Also, my next pg went perfectly and I had dd (now 3). My dr at the time and more recently a midwife all told me that it does not put me at risk of it happening again. I did have a m/c with my 3rd pg but it was not molar.

Wishing you and dh lots of healing and support thru this time!
I haven't been here, but a close friend was and there's nothing I can say except I wanted to post some support.

Hugs to you mama! I'll keep you in my thoughts and make wishes for your healing emotionally and physically from this devastating news.

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When I wrote the last message, I had just returned from the hospital and was having a bit of a panic atttack. I am not so afraid anymore. I found a website full of molar pregnancy stories and most of the women seemed to go on to have healthy babies at some point.

I was reluctant to go to the hospital in the first place, even though my mother kept urging me to over the phone. I wanted to believe that the discharge was just some persistent spotting, it was never profuse or red. I was terrified of finding myself in the same position that I was in last fall, when I found out I had a blighted ovum. Not just the news that a wanted pregnancy was not to reach fruition...but watching the doctors face view the tv screen as he moved the ultrasound wand around my cervix. The mechanical chair, suspended five feet off the bottom exposed and my legs shaking. I know the Japanese words used for difficult situations, when the doctor sucks on his teeth because there is nothing good to say. Fighting not to let my emotions spill over, so we can all get through the examination.

I chose to forgo the d&c last time and miscarried on my own, despite the doctor's misgivings. I bled for a 6 weeks, but felt empowered by my decision. Feeling my womb empty of all that blood made the pregnancy valid to me, and helped me cycle through all that energy I was directing towards a new baby. I don't feel I have that option this time, but I am prepared for that. I feel fortunate in that the doctor and staff at our local hospital are extremely kind, there is no indifference, just sympathy.

Thank you all so much for replying to my desperate words. It really helps to know that others have gone through similar situations. Sending loving energy your way...
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I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I can relate to the language problems.... I am in Fukuoka-shi (Kyushu) and soon will be having my 2nd child here. I also had one miscarriage between the 2 successful pgs. (not molar though) I'm trying really hard to learn japanese. We've been here 2 years and I am still SO dumb!

It's hard enough to deal with the differences and language barrier when things are going perfectly well. When difficulties arise I just get so stressed out about it because I feel like I don't have as much control over things here as I would if I were in an english-speaking country. I can't ask educated questions to the drs. It's hard enough to find a dr in the first place. The drs can't tell me really what they think (even if they want to. many japanese drs don't tell you much even when you really probe anyway.) Because of taking my daughter to japanese playgroups and public run places for kids, I have been fortunate enough to make some really great mom-friends here. They are japanese, some speak english, some don't speak much. But having these friends has been so helpful to me during the miscarriage and current pregnancy. I feel much less helpless this time around.

I hope you have a good japanese girl-friend that can help you find some support and be an advocate for you. And if you feel like venting about the communications issues in hospitals here in japan, feel free.
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My first pregnancy was a partial mole, and I didn't miscarry on my own, so I had a d&c at 17 weeks when we didn't hear the heartbeat for the 2nd time.

I now have a healthy 3-month-old.

Hugs and healing vibes to you.
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