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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My dd (10) told me last night that a boy at school likes her, and he asked their mutual friends to ask her if she liked him. She said no, and then my dd's friend told the boy that my dd hated him-- which she did not say (I know it's all very soap opera). The boy started to cry, so his friend took him to the office, and he went home for the rest of the day.<br><br>
We've known this boy and his family for a long time. He's very sweet. So when my dd told me all of this I felt really bad for him. My dd suggested that she write him a note on Tuesday telling him that she doesn't hate him-- we have a four-day weekend. I suggested that she call right away and tell him that her friend misspoke, so he wouldn't feel bad all weekend. So, she held her stuffed dog, and my hand, and called the boy and told him that she doesn't hate him, and she's sorry her friend told him that. They had a VERY brief conversation, and they both seemed to be happy that it was over (I could hear what he was saying on the phone from where I was standing.)<br><br>
I don't know if I did the right thing. I didn't want her to feel like she was encouraging this boy to keep liking her, but I didn't want him to feel bad either. When it was over she said she was glad she called him, and she felt better. I also feel like she needs to talk to the friend who told the boy my dd hated him in the first place. I know the girl feels bad about the whole thing, too, because she started crying when she found out the boy went home for the day.<br><br>
Is this making any sense? It seems very complicated now that I've written it down. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: What would you have done? What would you do now? It seems too early for this stuff! Are your pre-teens dealing with this stuff?
 

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It sounds like you and your daughter handled the situation well. It was nice of her to call right away rather than wait. My daughter is 9yo and she has just started dealing with this sort of thing. Most of it has been instigated by a couple of over-dramatic girls in the grade ahead of her who want to spend all their time matchmaking and gossiping. As far as she's concerned, all this stuff is gross.<br><br>
It does seem young, doesn't it? I think I'm having selective amnesia, though, because I'm pretty sure that in fourth grade I informed a cute boy that he was my boyfriend <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I think it was good to call right away. If it sits there the whole four-day weekend, who knows? Those things can take on a life of their own. Better to air it out right away.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks. I feel better today. My daughter was worried about seeing this boy at school, but I think it's all blown over. I'll get the full scoop when I pick her up. I think part of the problem is that my friend's daughter LOVES the drama. Maybe this will slow her down a bit.
 

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It's sweet that she shared this with you. I'd also commend her for that. When I was her age I never would have shared such a thing with my mom. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I think all people involved handled this very well.<br><br>
Yes kids get crushes in 4th grade. My oldest DS liked a girl in 2nd grade and in 4th grade had a crush on another girl. Hard to believe!
 
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