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<a href="http://www.courttv.com/news/2007/1112/smalley_ctv.html" target="_blank">Oy vey!</a>
 

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Well, I think she was way out of line. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> Should she be PROSECUTED? I dunno, but she went too far.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rmzbm</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9823898"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, I think she was way out of line. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> Should she be PROSECUTED? I dunno, but she went too far.</div>
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I have to agree.<br><br>
My parents were always VERY open about sex-related stuff, but explaining to your 11 year old how to perform oral s*x?? That crosses a line, IMO.
 

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Scary.<br><br>
I know friends who have talked to their kids about oral sex and talked about taking their kids to a sex shop. Guess you can't do that in America.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rmzbm</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9823898"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, I think she was way out of line. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> Should she be PROSECUTED? I dunno, but she went too far.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"><br><br>
The fact that the 11yo was uncomfortable, yet she continued the conversation, says a lot about how appropriate the conversation was. I don't agree with her being prosecuted for this, but I do beleive that she crossed a line here- the line of her children's comfort level.<br><br>
My own personal sex life is private. I don't share details with my children. My children don't know if I have any sex toys, and I'm not about to volunteer that information. I have taught them the basics, and answered any questions that came up, in developmentally appropriate ways.<br><br>
If my 6yo asked me what a "blow job" was, for example (thank goodness he hasn't!!), I'd tell him it was a sex word, a description of something grown ups sometimes do in private. If my 11+yo asked me the same question, I'd tell them it's a slang word for fellacio (and define fellacio if necessary.) Under no circumstances would I discuss "technique" with a teenager- unless he or she brought it up first and I was simply answering the child's direct questions.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ruthla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9823982"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The fact that the 11yo was uncomfortable, yet she continued the conversation, says a lot about how appropriate the conversation was. I don't agree with her being prosecuted for this, but I do beleive that she crossed a line here- the line of her children's comfort level.</div>
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I agree. However, it's not clear from the article whether she <i>knew</i> her son was uncomfortable. I'd like to think that I'd be able to tell, but if my son chose not to divulge his discomfort (for whatever reason), I may not pick up on it. I definitely do not agree with prosecution, though.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">My own personal sex life is private. I don't share details with my children. My children don't know if I have any sex toys, and I'm not about to volunteer that information. I have taught them the basics, and answered any questions that came up, in developmentally appropriate ways.<br><br>
If my 6yo asked me what a "blow job" was, for example (thank goodness he hasn't!!), I'd tell him it was a sex word, a description of something grown ups sometimes do in private. If my 11+yo asked me the same question, I'd tell them it's a slang word for fellacio (and define fellacio if necessary.) Under no circumstances would I discuss "technique" with a teenager- unless he or she brought it up first and I was simply answering the child's direct questions.</td>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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As always, I completely agree with Ruth. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes"><br><br>
The fact that the younger one was uncomfortable means the conversation should have ended. I 100% support a parents right to discuss sex with their children, and I will explain it to my kids when they are old enough, but NOT in that great of detail. JMHO
 

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She may have crossed her son's comfort level but the other child is a girl, right? At 15 she may have needed the talk(perhaps not as far as detailed oral but <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">: ) I don't think it should be a crime. I would rather my kids learn about sex from me than a sex ed class but I will leave out my own personal history, I can just picture the ewww's.
 

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My mother did something very similar to me, and I consider it sexual abuse. She used her power as an adult and crossed the line from giving information to forcing me to listen to her very adult and individual views on (and her actually in the act of having) sex against my will. It was humiliating and shaming and absolutely devastating.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>KaraBoo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9823964"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Scary.<br><br>
I know friends who have talked to their kids about oral sex and talked about taking their kids to a sex shop. Guess you can't do that in America.</div>
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Um, why would anyone <i>want</i> to do that? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: Sorry, but that is just, well, wrong, imo.
 

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I'm in the crowd that says she went too far but should she be prosecuted... that seems like going too far too. I dunno. It was a real bonehead thing to do. Her biggest mistake was not listening to her ds when he said it might be a wee bit much for his comfort level. The older dd I'm sure already knew quite a bit and maybe with her the goal should have been clearning up misunderstandings.<br><br>
It's kind of weird- with one she did it too young (for him, according to his comfort) and with the other I would say she waited until the ds was too old.<br><br>
And really, imo, a parent's sexlife should remain just that- the parent's. It's one thing to give info. It's a whole another ball of yarn to start talking about your own with your dc, especially considering their ages and their lack of wanting to know.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>wonderwahine</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9823876"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">poor woman</div>
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Poor kids.
 

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annettemarie- <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>iamthesmilingone</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9824259"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">annettemarie- <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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Thanks! My only point is that I think there is definitely a line that can be crossed where it ceases to be informative and starts to be abusive. I don't know if this mama crossed the line. I know my mother did. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">
 

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I do find her approach bordering on sexual abuse, but it's pretty hard to say if she was malicious or just misguided from the little information in the story. I certainly agree with Ruthla an previous posters who said that personal anecdotes don't fit in with their version of sex education.<br><br>
Part of what I find ironic about this case is that the government wants public schools to teach our kids about their version of sex, whether we like it or not (at least here in CA), yet parents get arrested for this kind of offense. I'm confused.
 

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Maybe poor judgment with amount of info but damn, how many TV ads keep telling parents <b>TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT EVERYTHING</b>?
 

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She is guilty.<br><br>
of TMI. If it were me, I'd feel uncomfortable and probably couldn't look at my parents the same way. explicit details are unnecessary. I still think she could benefit from counseling but not prosecution.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>iamthesmilingone</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9824251"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Her biggest mistake was not listening to her ds when he said it might be a wee bit much for his comfort level.</div>
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I didn't see anything in the article about her 11 year old <i>telling</i> her he was uncomfortable.
 
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