[birdie22]

This is what my almost-3-yo ds often says when dh is about to do some little thing for him; say, getting a cup of milk or helping him get dressed after the potty.<br><br>
I'm home with ds during the day, and he is very attached to me. He and dh are very close, but realistically I'm the one who does 80% of the care of ds. When ds shoves dh aside, it drives him crazy and makes him feel unappreciated.<br><br>
When it happens, I try to stay out of it. Sometimes ds will come find me, holding his empy cup while dh trails behind saying "I'M going to get it for you!" If ds asks me directly, I say "Daddy can get it for you now. If you want me to do it, you're going to have to wait until I'm done with [xyz]." My logic is that I don't want him to feel that I'm refusing to help, just to recognize that it's in his interest to lean on his daddy.<br><br>
DH told me yesterday that he thinks I'm making the problem worse by humoring it. I disagreed, and said that I don't just jump when ds calls me. I told him that I think it's a normal phase, perhaps exacerbated by anxiety-- DS nurses for comfort, and my supply is suffering (not to mention my mood) due to pregnancy. DS also knows that I'm going back to work PT this week, and he'll be alone with daddy while I'm out.<br><br>
Should I be handling this differently? I guess I still believe I'm right, but I don't want to brush aside dh's concerns. DS is going to have to rely on DH more and more as the pregnancy progresses, and I want him--both of them-- to feel secure about it.

 

[lil_earthmomma]

It sounds to me like you're handling it wonderfully. You're respecting your dc while teaching him to respect your needs as well. You dh should be happy that you don't just scoop him up and say "Mommy will do it for you if you don't want daddy to do it" or something like that.<br><br>
As for his relying on your dh while you are at work, I'm sure that will develop naturally, as there won't be another option! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Good luck mama, I hope you're getting the rest you need while growin' that baby!

 

[mommy2abigail]

I think you are doing just fine. We are in the same situation. DD, 2.5 wants "MAMA!!!" for everything. And I'm pregnant too. What has helped tremendously is for me to allow them lots of time together without me. If I'm home, dd will come find me, but if I'm not, or if they go somewhere together, she has to rely on daddy. They usually do something fun, so it makes it easy for her to leave with him.

 

[lilsishomemade]

This is totally normal. It's hard not to get your feelings hurt when your child would rather the other parent help, but it's nothing personal. My first two depended on me a lot, but my baby went through a phase where only daddy could do it, and that was a shock to the system! I had to let it go. It sounds like your dh may be experiencing some hurt feelings, which is what happened to me, too.<br><br>
What helped us was the one parent who wasn't being asked to help would spend alone time with the child. The other parent would leave and run errands, etc.<br><br>
When you start working PT, they'll have more alone time to bond and that shouldn't be a problem. Right now, he's just used to you doing it and in his mind that's how the process works.