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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Anyone else out there with a kid who wiggled from day 1, didn't like to be held much, didn't like the sling, didn't cosleep well, doesn't want to be rocked to sleep ... did your kid always seem to need space? Did you ever spend an hour trying to soothe your crying baby, only to set him down on the floor for a minute and have him instantly start cooing and wiggling around? Did you doubt your commitment to AP because none of it seemed to work for your kid? Did you wonder what the heck Dr. Sears was talking about when he said to pick up a crying baby, because *your* baby cried to be set down?

Here is a tribe for us! (And now I hope I'm not the only person in it ...
)
 

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yup, that's my son. he's extremely independent and has been from day one. co-sleeping was a nightmare. we did have him in our room and we only recently moved him into his own room. he always did fine sleeping in our room, we THOUGHT, but now he's obviously sleeping better, deeper, and longer, and is more cheerful, so i think our sleep patterns actually disturbed him enough that he couldn't find his own and now he's happy to be by himself. he does like the sling but he's equally happy walking. i wasn't able to nurse for multiple reasons and i always wondered if that's why he was so independent and seemed to want to comfort himself rather than take comfort from us. but i honestly think he's just really smart and independent and wants to figure things out for himself, which he does very well. now that he's a bit older he is a lot more affectionate; he likes to sit in our laps, he gives hugs and kisses to us, the animals, his toys...but he still prefers to play by himself and wander around fussing until he figures out on his own what's wrong. we've managed to find ways to work with it but sometimes i feel pretty useless as a mom and COMPLETE useless as an APer. i'm pregnant right now and sometimes i really hope to have a more dependent child next time, lol. so yes, i completely understand. he does seem very well-adjusted so i don't worry. but i feel guilty sometimes when people talk about rocking their kids to sleep and we never really had to do that. he has always really needed his space, ESPECIALLY when sick.

chandelle'
 

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I JUST posted a thread yesterday about how my baby doesn't want to cosleep. One of the answers that came back was that I trained my baby to sleep in her crib!! Absolutely NOT!! She was my last and only chance to cosleep....my older two were even more independent/needed their own space. I thought I had her (my 3rd) sleeping well in my bed, but around 6 months, she started needing to be put down when she was tired. Now, she nurses, pulls off and leans over and reaches for her crib.
Okay, baby....I'll follow your cues. Yesterday, I almost lost her out of the sling (yes, I had it tight enough and on properly). She knows how to creep her toes and climb up me enough to be able to lean OUT!! SHRUG! SIGH.
 

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This is my one year old to a "T". My biggest challenge has been in the sleep department. She will nurse to sleep about half the time, but the other times doesn't want to nurse or be held or rocked, reaches for her bed and then cries for 5-10 minutes before nodding off. Nothing soothes her. Because of this, I've been accused here of letting her CIO
. Very sad for me as I strongly believe in AP, but I'm only half of this relationship, KWIM?

Thanks for starting this thread.
 

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Well, my baby (15 months) is a typical cuddly, good AP baby, but my 2.5 yr old was always active/ wanting space/ etc. She didn't cosleep well, esp after she learned to crawl. She just slept better in a crib. And if I tried to comfort her or cuddle her to sleep, it just makes things worse, so to this day, at times I have to let her fuss. Maybe it is CIO, but she calms down in just a few minutes but if I help her/ cuddle her, it can take hours. So it seems to me that the AP thing to do, following her cues, is to let her CIO. (Although I hate that term for this.) I dunno. She always wanted to be down, independent, active. She's affectionate and cuddly at times, but it's definitely on her own terms. She's gotten way more so as she's gotten older, but as a baby I felt like I was a total AP failure!
 

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oh me me!

I am in the same boat. When DS stopped nursing to sleep at night, I would spend hours re-nursing, rocking, bouncing, slinging, you name it to get him to go back to sleep. After several weeks with everyone in tears, I nursed earlier, played for a few minutes and put him down awake - ready for the screaming. None came. Sure, there was fussing but it was hella better than the hours of wailing by trying to soothe him to sleep. He fell asleep in less than 20 minutes. It's now been about a month we've been doing this. Eat, story, change, lullabye, lay down in his hammock. Smiles & kisses. Most nights he just drifts off. Some nights he fusses for about 5 minutes. He is out somewhere between 15 and 30 minutes.

He is not a cuddler. He only likes the sling on hip or kangaroo carry. He loves to be played with if he is on the ground. Not so much in arms. He wiggles, wraggles and fusses if held for longer than a few minutes.

It makes me a little sad he doesn't like to be held much. I cheat a little. When he wakes from naps he is a bit stunned. I take that opportunity to hold him in my lap and project cuddle onto him until he gets his senses back and starts a wigglin'.
 

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O M G

My son has been nutty since he was in the womb! He would kick me in the same place for an hour straight until I was crying because my insides felt bruised!!!

He HATED the sling, he HATED being swaddled, he would NOT sleep with rocking... he HATES the crib but is SO restless in the bed that whoever is the unlucky one to sleep with him, gets woken up all night due to his thrashing. He would wake up for hours in the night and not go back to sleep because he was done and wanted to play! He also will not be still enough to fall asleep unless you help him... either gently hold his hands, and/or remind him to stop kicking because it's keeping him awake.

He was SO wiggly as a newborn that when I nursed him, I had to use the clutch hold so that he was all contained, otherwise he'd wiggle and pull on my nipples... ouch!

Thankfully, lately, he has been a little bit snuggly. He'll come up to me and sit in my lap and cuddle for a short time before he's off and running again. Otherwise he's a really happy guy, usually very content and playful. It's easy to make him laugh! My dad always says he's never seen a more consistently happy baby/toddler anywhere!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by timneh_mom
Thankfully, lately, he has been a little bit snuggly. He'll come up to me and sit in my lap and cuddle for a short time before he's off and running again. Otherwise he's a really happy guy, usually very content and playful. It's easy to make him laugh! My dad always says he's never seen a more consistently happy baby/toddler anywhere!
This is SO Corbin! Everyone comments on what a happy little guy he is. He has totally changed my ideas of what babies are supposed to be like ... I thought the happy ones were sweet and quiet and the unhappy ones were loud and fussy. But my little holy terror is usually in a great mood when he's yelling and running around and banging on things.


On the cuddling to sleep issue, I wish he would just pick a side. He won't let us lay him down alone to sleep (although grandma and the daycare lady can do it, no problem
), but he won't sit still to be snuggled either. Sometimes we can lie on the floor with him - not holding him, just nearby! - but the bed won't work, because it's too much fun to kick it and make the springs bounce, and that doesn't lead to him getting sleepier. Other times we have to drive him around because it's the only thing that works.

He has been active since he was in the womb, too. I still remember when we went in at 12 weeks to hear the heartbeat, and every time she placed the monitor on my stomach, we'd get a burst of static and the doctor would say, "oops, we got kicked again!" Anywhere she put it, he kicked it. When he got big enough that I could feel the kicking ... oof! It was all day long, just bashing my insides away. I took comfort in what some people told me, that babies who are active in the womb are supposed to be calmer after they're born ... ha!
:

I don't want to say I wish my little monster were anything other than the person he is, but dear lord, I hope the NEXT one is a little calmer.
 

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Pookel, I had to laugh at what you said about how much fun it is for him to kick the bed!! We have the same issue here. And I thought I was ALL ALONE!!! OMG I'm so glad we have this tribe even though there aren't many of us on it!

DS was really active when the doc tried to listen to his heart, and I had to have non stress tests at the end because of my high blood pressure. I was hitting that movement button constantly! He was just always on the go. And he still is. Funny thing though, he didn't walk til he was 15 months!

I am pg with #2 and I have fantasies about this baby being much quieter, but equally happy, and a GREAT SLEEPER!! Watch, we'll have two of the same...
 

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This was my son, except he's 5 now! And still a wiggly, squirmy, ants-in-his-pants kind of boy! The first 6 months of his life were miserable for all involved. He just hated being immobile. Once he began to crawl and then walk (at 10 months), life became much more bearable for all involved. Hugging him is still like hugging a brick wall though. He's just not cuddly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by timneh_mom
Funny thing though, he didn't walk til he was 15 months!
Mine didn't either! He was crawling at 5 months ... didn't want to try out a new way of moving when the old one was working so well for him, I guess. He was like a little tank when he was crawling, just went straight over obstacles. Nothing stopped him!

Quote:
I am pg with #2 and I have fantasies about this baby being much quieter, but equally happy, and a GREAT SLEEPER!! Watch, we'll have two of the same...
Don't even SAY it!
I want to wait until Corbin is at least 3 before I have another one. I couldn't handle two little ones this active.
 

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I just don't want to see this thread get lost!! It has been SUCH a relief to read about other kids like mine!! (He's delightful, don't get me wrong... just REALLY ACTIVE!!!)
 

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It's funny reading about your pregnancy experiences. DD was soooo active in utero, we called her "the monster" and I was just SURE I was having a boy!

Anyone else's baby do gymnastics while nursing too? Even though it seems she uses nursing to settle down sometimes, my dd twists and turns and pushes away while nursing so much, my nipples have become elastic plastic! Yeow!
 

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I am pregnant right now so if DS decided he was going to try to change positions without unlatching... OMG would I hit the ceiling!!! He is always going while nursing though... always grabbing his foot and kicking, or flailing his arms around, once he learned to control his arms and legs, that "top arm" so to speak, has always gotten itself into trouble!!!
 

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I love it...mine will snuggle sometimes, likes the sling only if facing out, and in general loves to explore and be active on his own. I get frustrated coming here because when I had sleep issues, the answer was always to co-sleep or let him get less sleep- both of which are nightmares for him. Like pp, we did not train our baby to sleep in his crib, we simply followed his cues and after 8 months of co-sleeping, we found out the hard way that our baby needs his own space and we were waking him up and making him miserable. He was never one to sleep in the sling, but would sleep in his carseat if we were out.

Mine is a great nurser sometimes and other times, it is like gymnastic central. I get kicked so much that often, I have to stop and get him re-settled by letting him run around.

I do get a big kick out of the first time moms with cuddlers who assume that I am doing something wrong or non-AP. I just keep thinking what will they do when they have their next one who isn't agreeable to co-sleeping, slinging, or a babe who won't nurse to sleep!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Lkg4dmcrc
I get frustrated coming here because when I had sleep issues, the answer was always to co-sleep or let him get less sleep- both of which are nightmares for him.

....

I do get a big kick out of the first time moms with cuddlers who assume that I am doing something wrong or non-AP. I just keep thinking what will they do when they have their next one who isn't agreeable to co-sleeping, slinging, or a babe who won't nurse to sleep!
:
 

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So, do all your babies just hate sleeping? If you look at DS, it looks like he is NEVER tired, never ready for a nap or bed. I just have to remove him from whatever and lay down with him, nurse, and get him to settle down. The only time he's laid down on his own was when he was sick. There was one other time, I thought maybe he was done taking naps, so after 3 days with no nap, he was horribly crabby by about 4 pm and he started falling asleep in his highchair at dinner! But otherwise, he will do anything to avoid naps/bed. He eventually does fall asleep but I have to hold his hands to keep him from playing with the sheet, his face, etc.
 

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Baby is the same as soon as he is done nursing he wants down and has been that way since he was 5 mo, he is now almost 11mo. He does however like to co-sleep. He seens much happier crawling around and playing than cuddling, which makes me sad, cause DS1 was the same, and before he was 5mo, he was not very cuddly either. DH will hold, him and I will say "kisses" and try to kiss him and he shoves my face away with his hands
but not really
it makes me sad. A MDC mom did once tell me that since he BF'S that is like is cuddle time, and when he is weaned totally for BF he will be cuddly, I sure hope so, but by then he will be a toddler and that's fine, but a cuddly baby would be nice as well. I can't belive he will already be a year on Sept 21st. I guess it time to ask DH if he has made up his mind about having another one. And hope for a cuddly girl this time, 3 boys could get scary
 

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Mine actually loves to sleep- and sleeps way more than average most days. He is difficult to get to sleep often though. Tonight, we had 5 nursing sessions and 10 rocking or bouncing on the ball sessions- finally after 90 minutes, he fell asleep. The entire time he was really tired and having so much difficulty falling asleep.
 
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