[Annikate]

I have an almost-three-year old and a 16 month old. The easiest way for me to get them to nap is to drive them around (or do an errand around naptime and let them sleep on the way home.)

Both girls *need* naps. Especially dd1. If she does fall asleep, she'll sleep btw. 2-3 hours in the afternoon. Dd 2 gets tired earlier but rarely falls asleep. Unless I'm driving. And driving. And driving.

Many days I drive them both to sleep. Some days I'm too tired to do this. (DD2 has sleep issues at night and I"m exhausted day and night.)

If I don't drive them to sleep my afternoons are a nightmare. I can't seem to get dd2 to sleep without dd1 waking her up (it's not dd1's fault, she tries.) DD1 does not know how to put herself to sleep. (She has not been sleep trained and we don't do CIO.)

CIO is looking really good right now. Just put them in their room and close the door and say, "Naptime!"

Of course I wouldn't do that but I don't know what else TO do. I'm tired of driving around and around and around. I'm also tired of holding out hope that I'll be able to nurse dd2 to sleep while dd1's occupied.

Do you have a naptime routine? What happens in your house?

Disclaimer: Oh, and I wouldn't mind the no naps AT ALL if my girls didn't need them. ONce they get tired it's a living nightmare here.

 

[MtBikeLover]

We have a 3.5 year old and an 18 month old DD. DH is a SAHD so I'll tell you what he does during the week when he is by himself with naptime. 3yo DS usually watches a video or does some arts and crafts or plays with his cars while DH gets the 18 month old to sleep. DS doesn't nap anymore (or if he does, he goes up on his own to sleep) but when he did, DH would play with him for a little while after baby was asleep and then put him down for his nap.

DS knows that he needs to stay quiet and then he will have DH undivided attention for the next few hours. We watch very little TV in our house so he is easily kept entertained for 20-30 minutes with a Noggin show, which is just enough time to get DD to sleep.

 

[Luthien Arcamenel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MtBikeLover DS knows that he needs to stay quiet and then he will have DH undivided attention for the next few hours.

This used to work perfectly for us too.
Now thankfully the boys are too old to nap, and old enough to be respectful when their sister is resting.

 

[hypatia]

Quote:

DS knows that he needs to stay quiet and then he will have DH undivided attention for the next few hours.

My DS knows that, too, but that doesn't seem to translate into his actually remaining quiet.

When I am putting the baby to sleep, DS watches the Sound of Music. I'm not thrilled that he's watching TV, but I don't really know what else to do. The TV is a great tranquilizer, but unfortunately he's so conditioned to watching it while I put Mariana to sleep that the instant I say "I think Mariana's getting tired," he replies, "Can I watch the Sound of Music?" He is so habituated to watching TV while I put her to sleep that he'll throw a fit if I put her to sleep without letting him watch TV, for example if it's the weekend and DH is home.
I suspect that because he has this habit he will want to continue watching TV while I put her to sleep long after he is capable of entertaining himself while I am doing so.

But for short-term, TV works great.

 

[Fuamami]

My ds goes to sleep first, around 11:30, and then dd goes down around 12:30 or 1:00. They share a room, so dd takes a nap in my bed. It doesn't take long to get ds down most days, but if it is I set dd up with play-dough or a video. It was harder when she was younger, I did more videos then, but now she's getting older and can keep herself entertained longer.

Also, fuel prices being what they are, I don't think you're crazy to think that you should find a new way to get your kids to sleep. I don't think you have to let them CIO or "sleep train" them to help them get in tune with their natural rhythms. It's hard, I agree, but it's worth it. Have you tried "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers"? Might be worth a shot.

 

[sarahlou]

So glad to find that I'm not the only one struggling with this! I have been going nuts for the past 11 months since my daughter was born, trying to make sure that both of my little ones get the sleep that they need. I love attachment parenting and helping my children fall asleep, but it has been SUCH a challenge with two children! Now, my son (who just turned 3) has finally stopped taking naps, and even though there are days when he probably needs one, it's too hard for me to get him to settle down, so we just do something quiet together while baby sister is sleeping (read books, art project, puzzle, play with trains) and often I put a video on for him while I'm putting her down for her nap (because otherwise he opens the door to her room and she gets totally distracted and won't go to sleep). I've been rewarding him with lots of praise when he plays quietly by himself while I'm settling (or re-settling) her. I've started her on one nap (instead of two) sooner than I did for him, partly because she started resisting sooner, but also because I've found that morning outings work best for us - then she conks out as soon as we get home, I can give him lunch and spend a little quiet time with him, and *maybe* even get him to sleep (if God is smiling down on me that particular day). Of course, if he DOES nap, then bedtime is a huge struggle, so I almost prefer him to skip it, because then he goes down easily at 7:00pm, along with baby sister. A lot of people have advised me to give him "quiet time" in his room -- probably a good idea, but I haven't had the energy to implement it yet, and I enjoy being able to pay attention to him while baby is sleeping. Hope this helps!

 

[Annikate]

Thanks mamas. I'm just having an especially PMS-y day today and when I forget about being positive my whole day goes to s**t.

I will remember the tip about praising dd when she's being quiet. I've forgotten to do that.

I actually do put a video or dvd on while trying to get dd2 to sleep and that does help some.

We're just having an *off* week I guess. Must be the moon.

As far as the quiet play time in the room goes, I've tried this too but no way will dd actually STAY in there. I asked a friend once (who has 5 little ones!) how she did it and she told me, "oh, they know better than to come out of their room during quiet time."

To me that translated into spanking though I did not ask her.

My whole thing is that I want dds to feel safe and secure ALL the time and ESPECIALLY during night/bed/nap/rest time yk?

 

[Fuamami]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annikate As far as the quiet play time in the room goes, I've tried this too but no way will dd actually STAY in there. I asked a friend once (who has 5 little ones!) how she did it and she told me, "oh, they know better than to come out of their room during quiet time."

You know, I insist that my dd stay in my room during quiet time. I stay very close, and when I hear her get up, I just go and calmly remind her and return her. Well, I don't do this very often anymore as she's mostly grown out of it, but I used to. If she needs something, I lay her back down and tell her I will be right back with it, so that she doesn't get all re-awoken walking around. I'm pretty sure she feels secure and trusts me, as I'm right there as soon as she gets up, but I'm not in the room to distract her. She can't fall asleep during the day with me around, it's just too hard for her to settle down, so this system has worked very well for us. Now, unless something weird's going on, she goes to sleep almost immediately. And as long as we get our timing right.

I'm sorry you're having a tough week!

 

[tracilicious]

I put a video or a show on for ds (who's three) while I rock the baby to sleep next to him. Then, ds and I go to bed where I nurse him to sleep. Then we all take a nap.

Perhaps the biggest benefit to tandem nursing has been ease of both of them taking a nap during the day. And I get sleep too! The video part sucks, but it's the only way he will be quiet/still. He happily turns it off as soon as I have the baby down. Milkas are much more important to him!

 

[my4magpies]

the 2 "babies" both lay down for naps at 12:30pm while I finish up school with the older 2. Then the older 2 will have quiet time (in their rooms reading, drawing, etc QUIETLY) for about 45 minutes. Everyone gets up by 2pm at the latest and we continue on our merry way!

 

[MamaBug]

Moving this to Childhood YEars

 

[oneotamama]

You are not alone!!

When ds was almost 3 and dd was about 6 months I drove those little buggers around daily for over 8 months. Everyday. Sometimes it worked out where we were actually away from home and the trip wasn't a total time waster, but a lot of times it was. Maybe that didn't come out right. I, like you, was so incredibly tired some of those days and would've preferred to be napping myself. And the gas wasted. And the money. But it saved my sanity. It really did. And my dh and I both agreed it was worth it.

Now that it's two years later it's easier. I'm guilty of the whole video/Noggin thing too. Ds likes watching his TV while I lay w/dd awhile. Often I can steal a little snooze myself. Other days if I lay on the couch w/ds after getting dd to sleep I can read to him and then we both take naps. Otherwise we enjoy some quiet time to read books that dd doesn't have the attention span for like Laura Ingalls Wilder or other pioneer stories.

It does get better. For now you just do what you've gotta do. And if you decide to change the plan, you do it when you're in your right mind. You do it when you're thinking rationally. Not in the heat of the moment. That's what I had to do for nighttime. Before I made a plan during the day when I was level-headed, I was laying w/the kiddo's every night until they fell asleep. That got to be too much. Now they're okay w/my reading, snuggling, telling a story about when I was a little girl and then going.

Good luck!!

 

[Gigi2214]

Hi Everyone.. I might get a lot of bad comments for this but sorry.. just expressing myself.

My daughter (2) around 4:30-5pm she takes her nap. I know it sounds late , but she wakes up around 11:30 everyday. My son, (11mths) hes still naps a number of times a day. we'll do activities throughout the day..color.. play with a ball .... sing..we cook together. She knows her ABC's..counts to 20 and to 10 in spanish.. and knows her shpapes. A lot of this has been through TV time. My kids watch Noggins. I love this channel, I totally approve it. It's commercial free and it's a pre-school channel. By no mean am I substituting this for special learning time with mami. I just think that I should not deprive them of some TV time. I used to love to wake up and watch Sesame Street in the mornings until I was ready to go and play.

I try to entertain my DS to hold off a nap until my DD takes one at 5.(he takes other naps before this) This way They are both sleeping and I have alone time with my husband. My DD will nap for 2 hours. The same with my DS. TV definitely helps me while I put DS to sleep. I also put the TV on while I prepare meals throughout the day when I'm in a rush and I don't sit DD with me. I try to do an activity with them around 3-4ish.Go play outside... if it's raining

: a nice long bubble bath.

But definitely i feel strongly about nap time. They really need it. My day and theirs seems never ending.

At night time.. I tuck DD in her bed, put on a princess DVD,very low (it has classical music in the background) and if she cen't sleep She plays quietly in her room. I find her with a book pointing at the pictures and talking quietly.

 

[Annikate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by oneotamama You are not alone!! When ds was almost 3 and dd was about 6 months I drove those little buggers around daily for over 8 months. Everyday. Sometimes it worked out where we were actually away from home and the trip wasn't a total time waster, but a lot of times it was. Maybe that didn't come out right. I, like you, was so incredibly tired some of those days and would've preferred to be napping myself. And the gas wasted. And the money. But it saved my sanity. It really did. And my dh and I both agreed it was worth it. Now that it's two years later it's easier. I'm guilty of the whole video/Noggin thing too. Ds likes watching his TV while I lay w/dd awhile. Often I can steal a little snooze myself. Other days if I lay on the couch w/ds after getting dd to sleep I can read to him and then we both take naps. Otherwise we enjoy some quiet time to read books that dd doesn't have the attention span for like Laura Ingalls Wilder or other pioneer stories. It does get better. For now you just do what you've gotta do. And if you decide to change the plan, you do it when you're in your right mind. You do it when you're thinking rationally. Not in the heat of the moment. That's what I had to do for nighttime. Before I made a plan during the day when I was level-headed, I was laying w/the kiddo's every night until they fell asleep. That got to be too much. Now they're okay w/my reading, snuggling, telling a story about when I was a little girl and then going. Good luck!!

Thank you for totally understanding where we're at right now!

:
Re: the part of your post that I bolded:
Tell me, how old were your dcs when they were able to do that? Dh lays w/dd1 to get her to sleep but it's getting old. How did you make the transition?

 

[oneotamama]

But it's getting old. Yep. That was me. Sometimes it was okay to lay w/them, but more often than not it was "getting old." At the time when I started leaving them while awake they were sleeping on a mattress on the floor together. This was something different for them too. Before that I slept on the mattress w/dd and dh shared a bed w/ds. Yeah, it was a little goofy, but it worked. Everyone was getting sleep. Then that got old. So one day I decided I wasn't going to do that anymore. Bingo. They seemed to like sleeping together.

Now they're sleeping in twin beds in the same room. Ds was 4 in January and dd was 2 in March.

But, back to the question. I would suspect that I started leaving the room when dd was a little over 2. It was when it started staying light out later. I don't shower until after the kids go to bed. Well, by the time I'd lay w/them I wasn't getting showered until 9:30 or so and it was real old. Now ds will clunk out right away. Dd takes awhile longer making multiple trips to the bathroom or whatever other excuses she can come up with. But for the most part they both know that I'm real clear that I don't lay w/them until they fall asleep.

We do however still end up w/dd in bed w/us sometimes. Maybe once or twice a week. And that's okay too.

 

[Annikate]

We've also been talking about having the girls sleep together at night. Once dd2 starts sleeping longer than 3 hours at a stretch we'll give it a try!

I talked to dd1 today about *quiet time* and staying in her room for quiet time. Dh added a little incentive. Guess you could call it bribery.

: She wants a little kangaroo figurine from Target so if she can do it this week she's going to get her $5 from Daddy for her kangaroo.

(I have tried this before but didn't really enforce it.) It's just so hard to enforce while I'm trying to get dd2 to sleep yk?

 

[phathui5]

The kids here are 5, 5, 4, 2 and 11 months. Three are mine, but the other two are living here for the forseeable future. Everyone here is down from one o'clock- ish to three or three thirty. Dd and the baby I nurse at naptime. Everyone else has to lay down. If they get up, I take them back to bed. When I don't enforce quiet time in the afternoon, it's a disaster.

 

[Annikate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by phathui5 The kids here are 5, 5, 4, 2 and 11 months. Three are mine, but the other two are living here for the forseeable future. Everyone here is down from one o'clock- ish to three or three thirty. Dd and the baby I nurse at naptime. Everyone else has to lay down. If they get up, I take them back to bed. When I don't enforce quiet time in the afternoon, it's a disaster.

What I need to know is just *how* do you enforce it?

 

[**guest**]

this does get easier.

a year ago, when dd was 3, she would watch a video. sigh. but that was the only way for her to be happy while i was bouncing / nursing ds for a nap.

now she is 4, we do not have tv unpacked yet after our move (on purpose, we might never unpack it).

i find that the key is to prepare her in advance. and give her tasks to do. now i get her a snack of her choice, i set it on the table for her. we select some books together that she will 'read'. she LOVES this. usually ds will settle within 15 minutes, but sometimes it has been up to 30 minutes, and dd is very happy to read and snack by herself. and she knows that 1:1 follows when i come down.

someone suggested giving them a treasure box for the nap time -- a box that you put something special for them to find while you are occupied. their snack, a different toy or a game. what about coloring? things like that.

it does get easier.

 

[mojumi]

My two are 23 months apart, and boy do I remember the driving driving driving ... but that got really old really fast. I used a double stoller and walked them around the neighborhood until the older fell asleep, then 'parked' him in his room still asleep in the stroller and carried the (sometimes sleeping) younger to my room to nurse to sleep (and then I got to nap, which of course never happened while driving!). This was our usual routine, weather & schedule permitting, for about a year.

Now with the older at 4 and the younger at 2, they both nap in their own beds at the same time of day. We have lunch, a last run around outside, stories (reading to both at once, they get to pick whose room we read in), then I lay down with the younger to get her to sleep while the older goes to sleep on his own. If he is still awake after the younger is asleep I'll read him another story but he's usually in dreamland by then.

On the rare days when ds can't/won't nap (he still really needs them, too) or dd can't/won't nap, we still have 'quiet time' in our rooms. He can chose whatever toys or books he wants on the bed but he has to stay in his room quietly for at least an hour. (And if he gets off the bed, I don't really care as long as he's still playing quietly.) dd plays on her floor with the door shut. And I get a break in the middle of the day which *I* really really need.

It takes some time, but it does work out! And it is so much nicer to be at home for 'quiet time' rather than wasting gas on the road.