Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 30 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,712 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wonder if they eat only at certain times, or if they're allowed to eat when hungry?


I'm just trying to figure it all out. I eat when I'm hungry...so why would I tell my children that they can't eat because it's not time yet, whether they're hungry now or not?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,308 Posts
I have no idea. I nursed on demand. They ate when they were hungry. I don't really get why you wouldn't feed them when they're hungry. I mean no disrespect, but I don't understand.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,712 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
just in case someone wonders...I'm not contemplating feeding my baby on a schedule! I'm adamently against it. I'm just trying to figure it out...I know several people who do it, and see it on other websites all the time!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
149 Posts
I BF DS whenever he is hungry, but I know a few people who use formula and feed on a schedule. I don't know anyone who BFs on a schedule. I can't even imagine how you could - when DS is hungry, he lets me know by pulling on my shirt and saying "mmmm" really loudly. Ignoring those signs would be tough.

If I had to make a sweeping generalization, I would venture to guess that scheduling feedings goes along with scheduling everything to make life "easier" for the parents. Baby eats at certain times, naps at certain times and goes to sleep at night and sleep trains at an early age. I believe Babywise and other books recommend this. I'm not a fan


Of course, I find BFing to be the easiest - after all, I don't need to have a bottle with me or worry about mixing formula and I can do it anywhere.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,219 Posts
I guess you could say my little one fed on a schedule, although that was much more his choice than mine. From the very beginning DS ate every 90 minutes (I want to add in here that he was adopted and we're talking about bottlefeeding) day and night. If I tried to feed him at 70 or 80 minutes he'd refuse, turning his head, spitting out the nipple. If I wasn't ready at precisely 90 minutes he'd become hysterical, and so our life became pretty scheduled. If we were at the park and it had been 80 minutes I'd wait another 10 so I could feed him before leaving and not have to stop 1/2 way home. If he had a doctor's appointment that started at 4 and I knew he'd want to eat at 3:50 we'd get there at 3:40 so I could feed him more easily.

If he started crying and it wasn't right around 90 minutes I wouldn't think to offer the bottle, but first would try changing his diaper, or walking him, or putting him to sleep. If he kept crying I'd eventually think of the bottle but I don't think it ever worked once. On the other hand, at the magic moment I'd offer a bottle at the slightest stir, and sure enough he'd slurp it down.

I can imagine a mother who is on the fence about scheduling having a child like mine and thinking that her scheduling was "working", as long as she was smart enough to come up with a 90 minute schedule instead of 2 or 3 or however many hours the book says.

As far as adults eating whenever they're hungry, that's not my world. I eat right before I leave for work, even though I'm not hungry then, because I know I'll be hungry in an hour if I don't. Then, since I'm a teacher, I don't eat until my lunch break which is always the same time. Some days I'm starving at 10 and some days I think "I"m not hungry but I'd better eat something because my next opportunity will be when I get home around 7:00.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
149 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Momily View Post
I guess you could say my little one fed on a schedule, although that was much more his choice than mine.
That's a good point. My response was geared towards parents who feed on a schedule b/c they want to, not b/c the child prefers it. I hadn't thought about scheduling that way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,712 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My sister BF for a year, and fed her son on a schedule. He could only eat after so many hours. If he was hungry before that, too bad...he had to wait. I have a friend who did it, too, and unfortunately, her milk dried up quickly. So, there are BF moms who do it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
290 Posts
I'm not sure how I could feed my son on a schedule! I'm formula feeding (
: long story.... don't shoot
), and there are days he wants to do nothing but eat, and there are other days where he'll go for a 5 hour stretch without being remotely interested. I think he's like his mom - if he's intent on what's going on around him, then he wouldn't even notice he was hungry. If he's bored, then he notices it. There's no doubt he got that from me!

Jen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,328 Posts
Yeah, I just don't get how you keep an infant (esp 0-6 months) on a schedule of any sort? It's one things if it's their OWN schedule, but IMO, that's still feeding on demand.

I could never get any of my three to get on any schedule, if I had tried anyway. I did semi-schedule my twins to be on the same schedule, but I never denied them either - even if one was hungry and the other was not. I forget how DH and I did it (oh, the early days with twins..), but somehow we got them on the same schedule.. where they were still feeding on demand, but always wanting it at the same time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
112 Posts
i nurse on demand also.. it would be really difficult for me to ignore my son if he was hungry. my mom, when she was with me for a few months after giving birth recommended i put him on a schedule of at least 2-3 hours otherwise he'd gain too much weight or get spoiled. but then she formula fed both her kids so maybe it worked out for her, but its just not right for my son.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
213 Posts
Don't assume that "moms who feed on a schedule" are not allowing their kids to eat on demand as well.

Both of my daughters developed amazingly strict feeding/sleeping schedules on their own. I've never turned either of them away from the breast, EVER, yet they both fed at the same time every day - unless there was a growth spurt or illness of some sort. That said, it sounds easy enough for me, but its a lot of work at first to recognize the schedules and not fight it (I'm not going into a lot of detail here, for the sake of brevity) - that is to say, i spent a lot of time at home and not going out for a few months so that i could take note of their schedules without any other external factors (i.e. me taking them out to go somewhere or anything else that may cause them to sleep or stay away or not get to eat when their body tells them too). I think there's a huge difference on forcing a schedule, and implementing and adhering to a schedule that is ultimately defined by the child. That said, some kids love them, some don't.

Trust me though, i experimented a bit with both before i came to this conclusion about my children. But yup, as with their father, they love their schedules. DD2 is 2.5 and is freakishly aware when meals aren't when they are usually. I think it must be a Swiss thing, because they sure as heck didn't get it from me!
:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,882 Posts
I was a post partum doula to a woman who did this. It was SO heartbreaking to see her one week old screaming for the breast and I'm saying, "Oh, he sounds hungry." and she's looking at her watch going, "Nope, he has twenty five more minutes."
I just can't be around that stuff anymore.

I think women do it because that is what they've been told by doctors, other moms, their moms, books, etc. is best. Such a shame. Every new mom I see breastfeeding now I say things like, "Isn't it funny how they eat like every five minutes?" (very light hearted) and then I'll tell them about how it's amazing that they really do need it because of how fast the milk digests and you never know when they're having a growth spurt and, hey, it's so convenient to have a cure all.... I just hope it plants a seed, yk?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,712 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural View Post
I was a post partum doula to a woman who did this. It was SO heartbreaking to see her one week old screaming for the breast and I'm saying, "Oh, he sounds hungry." and she's looking at her watch going, "Nope, he has twenty five more minutes."
I just can't be around that stuff anymore.

I think women do it because that is what they've been told by doctors, other moms, their moms, books, etc. is best. Such a shame. Every new mom I see breastfeeding now I say things like, "Isn't it funny how they eat like every five minutes?" (very light hearted) and then I'll tell them about how it's amazing that they really do need it because of how fast the milk digests and you never know when they're having a growth spurt and, hey, it's so convenient to have a cure all.... I just hope it plants a seed, yk?

I agree...you have babywise, peds, friends, parents, all telling these moms to do it. No wonder breastfeeding isn't successful for most women.

Quote:
Don't assume that "moms who feed on a schedule" are not allowing their kids to eat on demand as well.

Both of my daughters developed amazingly strict feeding/sleeping schedules on their own. I've never turned either of them away from the breast, EVER, yet they both fed at the same time every day - unless there was a growth spurt or illness of some sort. That said, it sounds easy enough for me, but its a lot of work at first to recognize the schedules and not fight it (I'm not going into a lot of detail here, for the sake of brevity) - that is to say, i spent a lot of time at home and not going out for a few months so that i could take note of their schedules without any other external factors (i.e. me taking them out to go somewhere or anything else that may cause them to sleep or stay away or not get to eat when their body tells them too). I think there's a huge difference on forcing a schedule, and implementing and adhering to a schedule that is ultimately defined by the child. That said, some kids love them, some don't.

Trust me though, i experimented a bit with both before i came to this conclusion about my children. But yup, as with their father, they love their schedules. DD2 is 2.5 and is freakishly aware when meals aren't when they are usually. I think it must be a Swiss thing, because they sure as heck didn't get it from me!
I was referring to strict scheduling where a child is not allowed to eat when hungry. Most kids get on their own pattern of eating, or sleeping. My son did. My daughter hasn't, though.

But I can't imagine it to the point where I can't leave the house at certain times! I'm not flaming at all, I just can't imagine it. If we have somewhere to go, we go. If it's naptime, they nap while we're out or nap later--they're pretty flexible. If they need to eat, they eat while we're out.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,707 Posts
I fed ds on a schedule much like that of SwissMama. Ds was early and was in the hospital for almost a week. He got on a schedule then, and it just continued when he got home. I had letdown every 2 hours and 20 minutes, and he ate about 15 minutes later...everyday...all day. If he got hungry earlier, I would have fed him, but he rarely did. He would also take a nap after most meals. I "knew" his sleep and eat schedules by observation, but I do not deny that he was a schedule baby. He did the same thing at the same time every day, and he was cranky if we got off his schedule. I have been the stay at home for naptime mommy because I knew what happens when we don't!

Dd is a different creature all together. I know her sleep schedule because she still sleeps most of the day. It is impossible to know when she will eat because she doesn't eat like that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,593 Posts
Putting aside the fact that it's just mean to make a hungry baby wait until a certain time to eat, how do they stand the screaming in the meantime? My new baby gets PISSED if he's hungry for even thirty seconds before the boob is in his mouth.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,564 Posts
I met someone once who had their baby on a strict schedule. The baby was about 8 weeks old - the same as mine at the time. She would wake her up to feed her (breastfeeding), then it was playtime under one of those hanging things. When she fussed from that it was bedtime, and she was put in the crib. The kid was amazingly calm about it all. I think if you train them from the very beginning they just don't know any better and go along with it. On the surface it looked great, until you realized how little the mom interacted with the baby. She had 2 other kids so was very busy. Other than breastfeeding time the baby was on it's own.
I looked like such a mother hen holding my baby all the time, breastfeeding an awful lot (DD was out of sorts that day from travelling). I looked out of control, and I guess I was, in a sense, but I was ok with that. I didn't need to be in control.
I haven't seen this person since, so I can't say how the kid turned out, but I can tell you that her other kids were big attention seekers. I can't say much more, because I really didn't know them for very long, but that much was obvious.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,225 Posts
My best friend only breastfed her first two babies for a month (maybe). So when she stuck with it for 9 months for her third, I was stoked to see it... but she was definitely one of those on a schedule feeders. I never understood why. I think she felt that she was unsuccessful with her first two, and for whatever reason figured that if she was diligent with a schedule, she would do better with her third. Honestly, I think she was the opposite of many on-schedule mamas. She probably fed him too often, and I think she burned herself out on nursing because of it!

I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't have nursed if he didn't want to, but I don't think it was because he was hungry. She was still nursing him by the clock, even at 8 mos! Our babies are just a few days apart, and I just remember thinking it was an awful drag that she was still feeding him every two hours, on the hour when he was that old. I honestly think she was so paranoid about not keeping up with BFing that she overdid it, and couldn't handle the rigidity of the schedule anymore and switched to formula! (and the kid has gotten waaaay fatter since the switch!)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
28 Posts
There is no good reason for any mom to feed on schedule. These poor women (and their children) are probably completely misinforned. its one thing for the child to create his own schedule but, for one to be forced into one??!!

i honestly think that most parents are trying to make parenting more convenient to them. to me it would feel like being tied up with a plate of food in front of you and being told by someone that it isnt time yet...geeeshhh

i bet these moms also believe in the cry it out method for their brand new babies
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,270 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural View Post
I think women do it because that is what they've been told by doctors, other moms, their moms, books, etc. is best. Such a shame.
I totally agree. When we took DD for her first Well Baby checkup the weekend after she was born, the doctor on call (not her Ped.) told us that we should be feeding her every 2-3 hours otherwise she'll become a "grazer". Not knowing any better, I tried to follow her advice until my instincts (and her cues) started to tell me that she was hungrier more often. It didn't take long for me to throw that method out the window and start nursing her on demand. At that point, she started gaining weight normally and was much more content. I just wish she hadn't told us that!

With advice like that, I can see how many BFing relationships fail...
:
 
1 - 20 of 30 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top