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I dont intend to open some huge can of worms here, I am asking for my own interest. What I say and feel does not reflect the way other women feel.
That said, do you feel like you are more bonded to the child you BF'ed? Or, if they are older, did you feel that way when they were little? Still feel that way? Never felt that way at all?
I FF DS after quitting BF at about 2 weeks of age. I am now BFing my DD who is 14 months. I think I do feel more bonded to her. I adore my son and love him to no end of course. But I do feel something with her I didnt feel with him ... a oneness, is a good way to describe it.
Now I dont know for sure that it is BFing that is the reason, that is why I am asking this question. It could just be that she is a much "easier" baby than he was. He was and is still a challenge at every moment! LOL Or it could be that I am more relaxed with a second child and take time to smell the roses with her, so to speak. I am just wondering how other moms feel.
thanks
 

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my first i bf till 14 months, my second i only bf for 6 months due to bad dental advice, and then she was formula fed, my third is 14 months now and still nursing like a newborn some days so we're now in for the long haul with her (CLW). I dont' really feel less conected at all with my middle child they all are about the same, maybe it is b/c i did have 6 months of nursing with her... but i still regreat not doing my resurch before weaning her and she has been geting bm now and then for the past year since my dd2 was born, in a sippy when ever she seems to be getting a cold, ect.
 

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My first wouldn't BF. My 2nd I nursed for 6 weeks but definately not exclusively. My youngest who is 7 weeks now is EBF. As far as baby bonding goes during feedings I think I am a little more bonded with my youngest. With my older two, I always held them when they ate. They got just as much attention as the baby does.
 

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TWB
With my twins, they were bottle fed EBM and formula. (They were preemies, had latch issues--tiny mouths-- and developed a definate bottle preference in the NICU)...Anyways.

I'm now exclusively BF my 4week old. So I guess time will tell. There is definately a special feeling for me knowing that all his growth is due to me.

But with the twins, we (me and DH) always held them while feeding, never propped up the bottles. So I think the bonding at feedings was similar. (ie. looking into their eyes, talking quietly to them, etc).

Tracy
twin DS 20 months old
DS 4 weeks
 

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My oldest only nursed for a few weeks (long story short - she ended up with a bottle preference and I had no idea how to reverse it, I still feel horrible that I didn't make it work). BUT when I bottlefed her, I always held her close, rocked her, etc.

I feel a bit closer right now to my youngest who is 9 months old and still nursing like crazy
But I don't think it has anything to do with breastfeeding versus FF. I think the extra bit of closeness I feel *right now* with my yongest is more because my oldest is Ms. Independent and the baby still loves to be held and snuggled. I imagine there will be times where I'll feel closer to my oldest.

For me, as proud & happy as I am to be breastfeeding this time, I don't think breastfeeding necessarily means closeness. And it's possible to bottlefeed with love and closeness.
 

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I also want to point out that it's possible to BF and still not bond, esp if there's PPD involved. For the first 4 months of my 2nd child's life, it was "I have to model to DD1 how to treat a baby. She cries, I have to pick her up, she's hungry, I have to nurse her." I was completely NOT bonded with her until she was 4 or 5 months old, and she was exclusively BF. She had a handful of ebm bottles in the early months, and no formula.
 

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I ff my first two and breastfed my last. I feel equally as bonded to my last two. I don't feel quite as close to my first, but I think that has more to do with me making some bad choices. I also worked full time, so I wasn't around as much as i am with the younger two.

No, I'm not saying you can't be close with your children if you work. This is just how I feel about my situation.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruthla
I also want to point out that it's possible to BF and still not bond, esp if there's PPD involved. For the first 4 months of my 2nd child's life, it was "I have to model to DD1 how to treat a baby. She cries, I have to pick her up, she's hungry, I have to nurse her." I was completely NOT bonded with her until she was 4 or 5 months old, and she was exclusively BF. She had a handful of ebm bottles in the early months, and no formula.
Wow, Ruth. What an eye opener for me. I am definitely feeling that way soemtimes right now w/ #3. But until I read your post and realized I was feeling that way, I still didn't realize I might have ppd. duh. I also feel like I'm starting to bond now, a little. But sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Like talking baby talk to him esp when he smiles even though I don't feel like it. I do hold him constantly, but when he cries when I put him down I feel just like you described. And if my older kids weren't here I wonder if I'd respond. I think I'm mostly just severely sleep deprived. I'm going to ask for reflux meds at ds's appt next week and that will hopefully help. If not, I will go ask for help. My mw was here today and of course, ds slept well last night adn I am feeling pretty good today. Maybe I should go see her or at least call on a bad day so she at least knows.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruthla
I also want to point out that it's possible to BF and still not bond, esp if there's PPD involved. For the first 4 months of my 2nd child's life, it was "I have to model to DD1 how to treat a baby. She cries, I have to pick her up, she's hungry, I have to nurse her." I was completely NOT bonded with her until she was 4 or 5 months old, and she was exclusively BF. She had a handful of ebm bottles in the early months, and no formula.
Yes, that! With #5 who was bfed for 12 mos I don't feel like I bonded with him at all. Just after #6 was born and my ppd was gone did I realize it. I took good care of him of course, but I didn't bond with him. Now I am starting to do that. Now with baby #1 I bfed for only 7 mos when my milk dried up. It was devastating to me and her I think. She didn't learn how to hold a bottle till she was a year so I held her to feed her and felt more bonded with her than with #5. I think we would be even closer had I been able to nurse her for longer.
 

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Well I ff ds who will be 14 in Feb and am currently bf dd who is 14 weeks. I feel like I have bonded quicker with dd but I attribute it to several factors, one I am in my 30's versus 19 when ds was born so the maturity level is much higher. Secondly I am at home w/dd versus working w/ds also first marriage was not stable (we were young & dumb) versus being in solid marriage 7 years when dd was born. Lastly I do think bf has helped, every time I nurse even in the middle of the night, its magical. I don't recall magical feelings with bottles and formula.

So I am not sure if I really answered the question but those are my thoughts.

Shay
 
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