Ok im new to this forum and fairly new to these boards but please help me with this. I am mom to a 4yr old dd and 3 month old dd. Lately I feel like the 4 yr old is getting lost in the new baby shuffle. Last night I realized that I had not held her for a signifigant amount of time in a while. It seems like whenever I try to give her mommy time the baby never fails to need me at that exact moment. DH is great about taking older DD and spending time with her during these times but I feel like dd and i both want and need more of our special time together. In a way I feel as if I am losing her to her daddy. I know this makes no sense but I used to always be the 1st one she came to when she needed something. Now it is dh. DH tries to help out with the baby but she will only be happy with him for a very short period of time. I am the only one who truly soothes her. I have tried giving her time during baby's naps but baby very rarely sleeps unless held. I do hold dd then but we both truly need some 1 on 1 time. DD is great about it in general but I dont want her to start being daddy's girl and baby is mommy's girl. I have friends whose relationship with their children is like that. Older child is daddy's child and goes everywhere with him. Younger child is mommy's and goes everywhere with her. IMO each child should have equal time with both parents. So how do I do it?