[kibba]

I am wondering how everyone deals with money.. We've been having alot of issues lately. I try to be very frugel. Only buy things we need, I will search out coupons, buy only coupons for what we buy anyway, I dont buy something just because its on sale or I have a coupon, I clean with vinager, baking soda, clorox bleach spray (cheap!), use half of recommended laundry soap, dishwasher soap, use cloth to clean, turn off lights, buy hardly any clothing.. I've only bought a tshirt and a pair of jeans for the past 5 or so months ( and Im prego! so I think thats pretty good.. I just make what I have "work").. for "stuff" house decorations things that hold no purpose I hardly ever buy. I bought a chicken that was I think 8.99 for our new house and then some candles that were on sale for like 3.00

my husband on the other hand eats out lunch everyday instead of packing his lunch , buys soda (we used to not drink it at all.. ), uses ridicules amount of toliet paper , paper towel ( we do have papertowel for dog poop/pee ect, and he will get it out and use ridicules amounts just to clean up water on a counter) something breaks he just buys new. he doesnt think our normal sized paper shredder is big enough so he wants to buy a new one even though this one works just fine. when we moved lawnmower broke he didnt bother to fix it even though he stated he knew how to fix it, just bought a new one instead. He keeps eyeing grills everytime we go to the store even though the last one we had he used maybe 5 or so times. The ones he eyes are only 50$ off not even a real "sale"( and they are the stainless steel most expensive ones he looks at), doesn't flinch at spending 80 dollars on a computer part, to lazy to look for the backpack I knew we have somewhere so insists on buying a new one, ect ect.

And then he complains we spend to much...

I've mentioned him giving me a "budget" like giving me X amount each week or something.

It's just fustertating because I'm not buying anything crazy. If we're spending to much, it's him. We did just buy a newer house and made some big purchases. (But with my savings I had before sahm.. I bought our fridge, a a new loveseat, and two dressers!) and his work gave us 5,000 for the move. ****But he has brought up this conversation MANY times in the past. It's just fusterating.

last night we went shopping which I think is what made him feel like bringing it up..(tax free holiday) and I bought some baby clothes on sale (4.00 for a top/onsie,bib, I bought four of these), five kids activity books on sale, four pillows for our guest room..)

The baby clothes(which I bought 3-6 months so they can last longer, and since we will probably get 0-3 as gifts) can be for us or he has two cousins due, the books I got were klutz books, really cheap(4.00-3.00$/75%off for birthday/holiday gifts, the pillows(9.00 for TWO) is because we have company visiting soon and have none! It just fusterates me because I shop for stuff on sale and don't buy a ton and he says "we dont have the money to spend" yes and we also have zero debt, so a little debt wont hurt since its not like its really that spendy!!!! We will end up buying all the stuff I just listed ether way!

sorry this is so long I just feel so fuserated.

 

[Dreaming]

DH and I have a budget set for both of us.
Our debts are on Excel spreadsheets and soon the budget stuff will be to.
It makes things easier if he and I can see it in front of our faces.

For my part, I make sure he has food for lunch. Either leftovers from dinner which I quick pack (or he does) when we are cleaning up afterward.
I also buy Lean Cuisines (which aren't organic but neither is most takeout) for him to take on the days there are no leftovers. Target often has them on sale 4 for $8.

I also try to stay away from convenience foods and impulse buys (I try to never ever shop hungry). Buying in bulk and cooking from scratch is also money saving.
I use meats as additions not as main features and also use other proteins like tofu, seitan and beans/legumes.
I also go easy on the dairy. Buy yogurt in bulk and mix with frozen fruits instead of single serving cups.
Every little bit helps.

The biggest thing at our house is COMMUNICATION. If I don't tell my DH what I expect of him and he of me then we have big issues.
We both have spending problems and work to keep each other in check.

For example, I have to tell him he doesn't "need" the $400 sub-woofer and he must return it. He has to tell me I don't "need" to buy DD another Little People set.
There are lots of ways to control your budget and you need to work out what is best for you and your family.

BTW, kids can get expensive fast. My DS is not yet 6 months old and he's already wearing 18-24 month clothes. I try to buy things on sale and clearance but I never expect that they outgrow everything so quickly.
In the future, I plan to shop more at rummage sales and thrift stores for clothing.

Anyway, there's a forum around here somewhere for frugality. Another for meal planning. Both have helped me a lot and continue to help.

 

[Kidzaplenty]

You and your DH need to get on the same page. It will never work if you are both working against each other.

Perhaps if you keep a written record of all the spending and income and show your DH how much he is actually spending on himself (not counting "necessities" like TP, paper towels and such) he will see where you are coming from and be able to understand your concern.

If you really are going to fix your budget, you both have to work on it together.

 

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

I think a good place to start is to keep a record of exactly what each of you is spending and what your spending it on. Write everything down at the end of the day. This might help him see that if there is over spending going on that it's him not you.

 

[marybethorama]

I've BTDT

My dh means well but he can be oblivious to certain things.

I second the reccomendation for communication.

Different couples have different ways of dealing with money but just communicating more worked for us.

 

[Sharlla]

We don't have a budget for us but I figure if DH wants to buy something, then he deserves it because he works hard. What is the point of him going to work everyday if he doesn't get treats? I think a lot of spending is out of boredom and depression, I know when I'm bored or depressed I start spending money on the boards LOL. But then, even as frugal as I am, have to buy myself something, it wouldn't be fair to me if he always got fun stuff and I never did. So he wanted to get all the X-Files seasons, I agreed and we found some for a couple hundred dollars on Ebay, but then I in turn bought a Ipod Nano. It was pricey buy I bought it open box so I got the 2G for the 1G price.

Either way all the bills have to be paid before we buy anything at all. Sometimes I do get frustrated though because he wants to buy things like video games for $50 a pop that I know he's only going to play a few times and then its going to sit on a shelf. Last year we spent $400 on a PSP and he NEVER plays it anymore.

:

 

[Brazilianmommy]

Well my DH and I have never had problems with money, money never misses at home, his anual income is excellent maybe I'm an SAHM but I help him to I make portraits of the neighbors when they ask for them or things like that I draw landscapes of different places, with different techniques and they sell well, I sell them to friends or my husband co-workers so I get my own money to but we can buy stuff for ourselves the baby and to make new things for the house and some more to..

 

[deleria]

We had some debt issues early last year and were having a hard time keeping up. We took out a consolidation loan, but also decided that it was time to look at our spending more closely. We were good about paying our bills on time, but were always left with zero (or less) at the end of every pay period. It was frustrating!

We decided to do a bi-weekly budget in spreadsheet form. We list all the things that come out (pre-authorized payments) in that pay period and the bills that are due. We pay those first.

Afterwards, we look at what we need for food and gas. At that point we always allocate a little money for 'entertainment' as well: lunches or dinners out, movie rentals, coffee dates, etc. In our family, it's not realistic not to have any spending money. There's no fighting over money if we both decide on exactly what's ok to spend (if we still fought, we'd break it up - half for you, half for me - but we haven't had to do that). We then allocate a bit for clothing or birthdays or whatever else needs to come out.

BTW, I really thought I spent far less on food than I was spending. However, I never added it up until we started keeping track. Also, we spent less on gas, but more on entertainment. One way we kept track in the first couple of months was to put all our receipts on a peg. It's crude, but it works. Then we didn't have to write most things down (unless we took out cash and used that). It was a big wake-up call for us.

Finally, we tackle the credit card and line of credit debt. If there are balances, we pay them in full or as much as we can. We'll also put a little away in savings most of the time. It's not much this year, but every bit helps.

In the end, we know what we've spent our money on and do a summary of what to expect in the next two weeks. We've been a LOT lot better with our money since we started doing this and we argue a lot less - about everything! Less stress = fewer arguments = happier household. It's been wonderful.

Every family is different, but this is what works for us. I hope some of it can be useful

 

[skueppers]

We each have an "allowance," which is intended to allow us to buy fun stuff that's not in our regular budget. So if my husband wants a new lens for his camera, he saves up and buys it from his allowance. Or if I want to go visit a friend, I save up and buy my plane ticket from my allowance. We also use our allowances to "treat" each other to dinner out, to buy gifts for each other, and to buy small items like books or DVD's for ourselves. We can use our allowance to buy anything we want, without discussing it with the other person.

The rest of our budget is pretty austere. We save a certain amount each month into savings accounts earmarked for travel/gifts and home/car maintenance. We use those accounts for family vacations, holiday/birthday gifts (except to each other), car maintenance and repairs, home maintenance and repairs, new furniture, etc. We always talk about any money we plan to spend from either of those accounts before we spend it. If we don't have the money for something, or we don't agree that it's a priority, then the person who wants it can either buy it from their allowance, or not get it.

We also have a long-term savings account, where we sock away money for big things like a new car or a new roof.

The rest of our money goes to pay household bills, buy groceries and gas, the occasional meal out, clothes, etc. These are what we think of as our day-to-day expenses. Neither of us is a big spender on things like clothes, so we only buy what's really needed (that is, the old clothes are worn out or outgrown) and try to get the best possible deal, which often means shopping at thrift stores.

Anyway, I find that setting aside specific amounts of money for particular kinds of expenses is very helpful, and giving each adult an allowance really helps us feel less poor, like we can have anything we really want, even if we have to wait for a while to get it.

 

[normajean]

I'm in charge of our finances, even though DH is the one bringing home the proverbial bacon. He usually asks me, since between his 3 jobs he doens't have a lot of time to keep track, whether we can afford any purchase he makes over about $10.

I try to give him some cash after payday for little things that come up. He eats lunch at home with us, which he prefers-that is a bit of a stress for me, since we have to be home & have something ready since his time is limited.

Most of our expenditures are pretty static, which is frustrating, because the food budget is about the only thing that we can cut back on, and prices keep going up, plus we are trying to eat better! Sometimes it seems like we can't win.

I keep hoping for a big break that will help us pay off a few small debts and that will give us a little extra. We are lucky that work travel pays for most of our trips. We just don't do a lot of entertainment things, and we really try to limit our impulse buys and extra trips (gas).

 

[MommaCrystal]

My hubby and I handle it much the same way others here have described. We each have an "allowance" which is exactly to same for both of us. Yeah his job brings in the actual cash, but mine saves us a ton (no daycare, no eating out, less taxes, you know....).

We have a set budget for food, clothes, household items, the essentials. We have a long term savings account so we can have cash on hand for emergencies or for big investments (new car, house repair). We do absolutely EVERYTHING we can humanely think of to save money. BOTH of us do. (Coupons, stocking groceries, he rides the bus, I walk when I can etc etc).

We keep each other on the same page, negotaite and think out big purchases, save up what we can. Life is good!

Oh, and he does have a whole retirement portfolio which takes into account that I don't anymore and we do have life insurance.

 

[mommycakes]

We're really struggling with this in our household. My husband makes decent money but we never seem to have enough. I pay the bills, etc. but have no idea what I'm doing. Does anyone have any good resources for creating a budget? I don't have a clue. I think I saw a post about some "Debt Free" book and I put that on hold at the library. Does anyone have any faster suggestions. I'm not sure I have time to read an entire book right now

Thanks.