[Slackermom]

MIL (who tends to make me crazy at the best of times) came over this afternoon to help hang the curtains I'd made for DD's room. She then would NOT leave, even though DD was tired and DH and I needed to study. Finally, it was time for DD to have some sweet potato before we got her ready for bed (we've been giving her a very little bit of sweet potato or banana for a couple of weeks now, just once a day).

DH suggests his mother should feed her.

This, of course, is the moment she's been waiting for since DD was born. I had to endure 20 minutes of "Oh, you must be so happy to finally be getting REAL food instead of that milk! You must have been getting SO hungry! And now that you're eating REAL food, you can come stay with Grandmere all night!".

Um, NO.

I pointed out that breastmilk is, indeed, real food, and that it's actually all she need right now. That DD isn't going to be eating a whole lot of solids anytime soon. And that she will not be spending a night away from us for a very, very long time (College, maybe, if I have my way :LOL )

She ignored any hostility in my voice, probably because she was so freakin' excited about shovelling solids into my babe. I handed her the sweet potato, and told her it was a little warm so she should blow on it before giving it to A. She looked horrified, and said, "OH! I can't do that! I'd get GERMS all over it!". DH and I cracked up -- if you could see the state of our house right now, it's probably germ central. She then hops up and runs to the sink, and makes a huge production of washing her hands. I swear, she looked like she was scrubbing for surgery - right up to the elbows. I wasn't sure why she was doing it, unless she was intending to shove the food down DD's throat with her bare hands. DH jokingly commented that one of the advantages of BF is that it boosts the immune system, so DD would be protect from any of MIL's germs. MIL - dead serious - says, "Oh, that's why I would never BF though. It's just not hygenic! At least you can sterilize bottles".

I said, "Maybe I'll start rinsing my nipples in Javex".

Can you believe this woman?????

:

 

[MamaAllNatural]

First

. You poor thing to have to deal with all of this.

Now, on a more serious note...

:

:LOL What the hell is this woman thinking? I know this is rude but all the things she did are so ridiculous they're cracking me up. Thanks for sharing. It sucks you have to put up with it, but at least it makes for an entertaining story, right? Dirty nipples?

Is it ok that I'm laughing about this?

*ETA: I have a 'monster' in law too. It's so frustrating.

 

[Slackermom]

Oh yes, PLEASE laugh. It's my only way of staying sane with her. Seriously, she's driven me to the brink so many times that I've actually contemplated leaving my DH just to be rid of her.

But I won't, so I must laugh.

 

[GnomeyNewt]

Monster in Law ... oh thats what MIL really means!

I'm laughing really hard too! I'm sure it wasn't funny while it was happening, but common... she was acting so ridiculously silly. I wonder how she thinks humans ever survived before sterilized bottles? My Monster keeps wanting to give 2 1/2 month old DD water and keeps asking when its time for food. I think my reaction is goning to be laughing from now on, it just so funny the things MIL/IL's say.

I'm with you, "Um, NO".

 

[Yinsum]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural : :LOL What the hell is this woman thinking? I know this is rude but all the things she did are so ridiculous they're cracking me up. Thanks for sharing. It sucks you have to put up with it, but at least it makes for an entertaining story, right? Dirty nipples? Is it ok that I'm laughing about this? *ETA: I have a 'monster' in law too. It's so frustrating.

Don't you hate that passive aggressive crap. Talking to the babe when she's really blowing poisonous darts in you direction. I find ignoring such comments can drive a person up a wall

Just smile like you didn't hear a thing or your heard her say something sweet.

 

[Kleine Hexe]

: ok this made me laugh too. bless her heart. she is very misinformed about bf as most people are...especially the older generation. she's excited to be a part of your daughter's life and just doesn't understand. my inlaws and my own parents were this way. they have learned a lot from me though and are becoming quite openminded now. it should get better with time.

my friend shared this perspective with me to help me understand. our parents did things differently like formula, cio, etc because they were led to believe that was best. when we choose to do things like bf and co-sleep it can insult them on some level. it is like we are indirectly saying that they did things the wrong way and we are doing it better. of course we are doing it better(in our beliefs), but no one likes to feel like they made bad decisions. so they defend the way they raised us and critisize how we are doing things in order to validate to themselves and to us that they were not bad parents. does that make sense? after i heard that i became much more understanding to the way my inlaws or parents acted.

btw, naking....

smile knowing that your mil just wants what is best for you and your baby. she only knows what she herself did.

 

[rareimer]

oh...my....gosh. :LOL where to even start with someone like this? you must be a very patient daughter-in-law...

 

[tracymom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe my friend shared this perspective with me to help me understand. our parents did things differently like formula, cio, etc because they were led to believe that was best. when we choose to do things like bf and co-sleep it can insult them on some level. it is like we are indirectly saying that they did things the wrong way and we are doing it better. of course we are doing it better(in our beliefs), but no one likes to feel like they made bad decisions. so they defend the way they raised us and critisize how we are doing things in order to validate to themselves and to us that they were not bad parents. does that make sense? after i heard that i became much more understanding to the way my inlaws or parents acted.

ITA here. This is how I tried to look at it and it helped me be more patient with mine.

 

[Messy Nessie]

that you for sharing, it made me smile... i feel kinda bad for that tho, b/c i am sure it was a difficult moment to get thru!

i am fortuante that my mil is pretty crunchy and bf my dh until he was about a year. but she has boundry issues- will come right up to me and pluck dd right out of the sling!

hopefully all of our "monster in law" experiences will make us GREAT MILs someday! tolerant, understanding and accepting.

 

[Sarah]

You guys!!! ... please don't laugh too hard- this women is a product of her generation obviously. This type of attitude has done a huge about of harm to mothers and babies... and society in general- but people didn't invet it- it was taught to them by medical professionals and advertising. If you have ever seen old fashioned public health education films on bottle sterelization- you would understand how the "womanly art" almost got lost.

You would also understand how childbirth became a sickness to be treated in a hospital... and how normal male sex organs because a threat to a man's health.

This MIL may be very behind the times, but she is WORTHY of a person's effort to educate her... imagine what a tragedy it was that she and her son were DEPRIVED of a nursing relationship because of misinformation!

a quick clip explaining this:
http://www.parentsplace.com/babies/n...a=adid=8360342

Love Sarah

 

[kimberlylibby]

Oh man. that's KILLING ME.

:

I'm seriously going to crack up every time I nurse this new baby... the only ickies on my boobs are sweat and dried milk.... unlike a bottle nipple with soap reside and ickiness.....

Kimberly

 

[MommyPam]

My midwife told me that when she had her first child (I'm thinking about 30 years ago) the nurses where appalled that she was nursing because it was "dirty". They told her she had to wipe her nipples with rubbing alcohol before each nursing session. OUCH! Happily, she ignored them. But this is perhaps where some of the Grandmas who listened to their health care providers back then get this attitude. It makes me angry for the poor mothers who got such terrible advice!

Not that this is an excuse for your "monster-in-law's" passive aggressive attitude!

 

[copslass]

Reminds me of something I read LONG ago, in a "baby care" pamphlet which said before feeding you must boil the nipples!!!!!!!

 

[Peony]

: Thanks, I needed that! Monster in law, too funny.

 

[Aura_Kitten]

Pam and Sarah made some really good points.

i was cracking up when i read the OP (picturing myself sterilizing my nipples before each nursing session)... but at the same time i can't help remembering all of the propaganda i've seen from only about 50 years ago, that "bottles are best."

one ad in particular stands out in my mind...

it was a piece of "medical" advice to new mothers:

wash your babies in Listerine.

 

[Slackermom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by klothos wash your babies in Listerine.

I'm trying to even picture that. How scary that people probably did that because "professionals" said they should!

Yes, I should be more patient with Monster. It's no so much her silly dirty nipple ideas that get me, it's her passive aggressive nonsense. She's used to having complete control over her children's lives, and I - with my stubborness and "odd" ways - kind of threw a wrench into her plans of world dominance!

Hee heee.

 

[kimberlylibby]

YIKES.... boil my nipples, eh?

Well, I'm a klutz and I have poured boiling water down my chest before. Frankly, the blistery boob wasn't quite worth it.... but I bet my nips were nice and sterile!

Kimberly

 

[melamama]

the cleanliness thing of the past is scary--I used to work with a nurse who failed at bfing both her children because she believed all these things--and her baby wouldn't latch because of the rubbing alcohol residue on her nipples. she was so sad--and the situation is just so sad.

I just hate when my mother says "that's what we thought when we were your age, now they know more and it's something different...just wait it will change and you will be wrong too"

 

[taz925]

I agree. I hope we are great to our grandchildren even if they make different choices that we did. I try to keep remember the awful stuff my MIL does/says and will avoid those choices myself when my time comes.

As for passive/aggressive people, just ignore them. They want a reaction. My MIL liked to keep picking until I wanted to explode. I have exploded a few times and now she is less annoying. If she keeps on a subject, I just tell her no or laugh like she must be joking.

Doreen

 

[Sustainer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jellyfishy "Oh, you must be so happy to finally be getting REAL food instead of that milk! You must have been getting SO hungry!

:

:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jellyfishy "Oh, that's why I would never BF though. It's just not hygenic!

Am I the only one having a hard time laughing at this?