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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Tonight DH has to meet with the local district attorney and his ex and their son, my DSS. Evidently a friend of DSS's confessed to him that she was being sexually abused by her father. Very scary stuff. The ex has called DH several times crying and very upset. She is worried that if DSS has to testify, the dad of the girl or one of his friends will come after DSS for revenge and DSS will get hurt or killed. Suddenly the focus is not on the poor girl but on the ex and DSS and how they might get hurt or be inconvenienced. She is hysterical about this questioning. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I feel DSS should just tell the truth to the DA. I am not sure if they would want him to testify in court as he is just testifying to what someone (the girl) told him at a party. The DA is taking the allegations very seriously and has talked to my DH twice now on the phone since two days ago. The meeting will be with all of them at ex's house. It will the first time that DH has been allowed to go into this house. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
My main concern is that this is just the tip of the iceberg of the world that DSS inhabits. I wonder why DSS did not tell either of his parents what he had heard. He has known this girl for a long time and has dated her. What else is he not telling us that could be potentially dangerous for himself or another child? I am not going to the meeting, neither did I ask to. This is definitely a "step" back stepmother moment.
 

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Quite frankly, being that there are so many nutjobs in the world, I would be concerned about my son too.<br><br>
I can see why you are a bit put out, though.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
The police took a signed statement. Evidently it went well. DSS's mom stayed basically calm. DSS will probably not have to testify.
 

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I'm so glad it worked out! That's great news. I hope it ends here - the abuse, and your DSS's involvement!<br><br>
FWIW, I think I understand where you're coming from. My SS's mom is very dramatic. It used to drive me out of my mind. My problem wasn't that certain things concerned or upset her; it was that she put on this end-of-the-world show. If SS got a sinus infection (as he frequently does because of shockingly bad seasonal allergies), she acted like he was at death's door. One memorable night, she called in a panic at 3 am because SS's fever had climbed over 102; meanwhile, we were wide awake, nursing DD who had a fever over 105.<br><br>
Part of the problem is, I think, that I kind of pride myself on staying very calm. I think it helps my kids to see me firmly in control when they're hurt or scared. But if I'm realistic, it's largely just due to my inborn temperament, something I can't take credit for at all.<br><br>
Anyway, I don't know if that's how it is for you at all, but I thought I'd throw it out there. I've finally learned to have as little to do as possible with SS's mom. We're polite at functions for SS. We can sit together and make polite small-talk about empty things. I never let the convo go any further than that. My DP has to handle everything, which is much better for us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
The fever thing sounds familiar. DSS with a fever of 102 is at death's door according to her. Recently at a meeting with counselor and teachers at school, the ex started in on "how awful it is when he is sick" and the counselor looked at my DH and winked!
 
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