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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have posted here before about my DS (age 2.5) and his resistance to wearing a jacket, and got some good suggestions.<br><br>
But now his clothing issues have extended to shirts, and it's getting colder. He has this football jersey his grandpa sent him and he wants to wear it everyday. We have been pretty accommodating, but do make him take it off at night to wear cotton pajamas, and also to sometimes wash it.<br><br>
The problem is, it has short sleeves and we live in Wisconsin. Even inside our house it is cold. So we have been putting a long sleeve shirt underneath the football shirt. Sometimes he goes along with this but often he protests vigorously, kicks and screams and cries and basically has a huge tantrum.<br><br>
This morning my DH and I had to hold him while he did this to get the shirt on. This just didn't feel good, not gentle at all.<br><br>
Putting it on OVER the football shirt is not an option as he MUST see the football shirt. And we have tried letting him choose the one that will go under but he won't choose, just yells NO!<br><br>
Please help! I really want to handle this gently but I'm at a loss.
 

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My inclination would be to just let him get cold enough to where he would want to have long sleeves on. Or maybe he would be happy wrapping a small blanket around his upper body. I don't have a child that age yet but I have observed other parents letting their kids make wacky clothing choices (wearing a swimsuit to bed instead of pajamas, for example) and it seems like a harmless way to let them exercise their own autonomy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you, I will try that -- but I'm afraid he won't want it no matter how cold he gets. Sometimes in the mornings his lips look purple or his feet feel really cold but he'll still refuse to put on socks or warmer clothes.<br><br>
Hmmm ... is that okay? Can any harm come from being cold at home? I mean, it's not so cold he'll get frostbite or something. What do you think, mamas?
 

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We live in Michigan and we don't mess around with the cold. I would just tell him that if he wants to wear the football jersey he needs to wear the turtleneck underneath. Maybe take him shopping for one and let him pick out his own, or buy one that is the same color as the jersey? Not sure if everyone would agree with me, but that is my opinion. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dawnk</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would just tell him that if he wants to wear the football jersey he needs to wear the turtleneck underneath.</div>
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This is the approach we have been taking so far. But what would you do then if the child simply refuses and has a terrible fit? Hold them down and force them to wear the shirt underneath like we did today? Or is there another solution?
 

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Maybe it's time to make the favorite shirt "dissapear"? It seems like a "logical consequence" of not wearing the warm shirt underneath. IE:"You have a choice. Either you can wear this turtleneck under your special shirt, or the special shirt is going into time-out until tomorrow."<br><br>
Personally, I've never had a child get THAT attached to a particular item of clothing. I've never allowed a shirt to be worn that many days in a row- Jack likes to use his shirt as a tissue so I MUST change them daily!!! Yup, I've dealt with tantrums when changing his clothes. I don't let tantrums scare me.<br><br>
I would go with the "let him be cold and learn the consequences" route, but where I live, it's a comfort issue, not a safety/health issue. I don't think it will hurt a child to get a LITTLE cold- feet that feel cold to the touch aren't necessarily uncomfortable to the child, and he should know his body better than anybody else. If his lips were turning blue, I'd intervene (aka force the child into warm clothes) sooner, but I'd still give him a few minutes to decide for himself that he's cold.
 

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Well, I'm in MN and I generally don't force the clothing issue. Well, I do require my nekkid-lovin' DD to wear pants in the front yard, but...<br><br>
When it's cold, I prefer to dress my kids warmly, but if they balk, I don't make an issue of it. Yesterday (temp in the 40s), my kids were riding their bikes around outside wearing sandals & no coats. They did this for about 15 minutes before they decided that it might be a good idea to put coats on.<br><br>
Inside, I let my kids wear what they want. I do require clothes (especially in the winter), but if my kids- usually 2 yo DD- want to wear shorts & a tank top, that's okay with me. I figure that if she gets cold, she'll let me know. I do remind them that they're welcome to put on a sweatshirt if they get cold. But I don't push the issue, it's just not worth it.<br><br>
But then, I'm the type of person who walked to school in the dead of winter wearing shorts or skirts <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ruthla</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Maybe it's time to make the favorite shirt "dissapear"? It seems like a "logical consequence" of not wearing the warm shirt underneath. IE:"You have a choice. Either you can wear this turtleneck under your special shirt, or the special shirt is going into time-out until tomorrow."<br><br>
Personally, I've never had a child get THAT attached to a particular item of clothing. I've never allowed a shirt to be worn that many days in a row- Jack likes to use his shirt as a tissue so I MUST change them daily!!! Yup, I've dealt with tantrums when changing his clothes. I don't let tantrums scare me.</div>
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This is interesting, because my initial response to the shirt obsession was, "No, we change our clothes every day." But my DH and every other adult I know IRL, including DS' preschool teachers said, "Why not just let him wear it if it's that important to him?"<br><br>
I'm torn. Part of me thinks, If only I had listened to my gut we wouldn't have this obsession now! (and it's not just the shirt, there are also 'football pants', socks he loves, particularly undies, etc.!) But I also don't want to turn it into a power struggle, since it's more important to him to wear these clothing items than it is for me to see him in clean clothes every day. (I do stand my ground if they are truly stained or stinky.)<br><br>
I also don't want to let the tantrums influence my decision. But it's not that they scare me. I'm pretty comfortable letting him tantrum if he's really upset by something, and deal with those emotions without giving in to whatever unreasonable demand may have precipated them. It's the having to physically force him to do something (e.g. wear the undershirt) while he tantrums that I'm not comfortable with.
 

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Maybe if you have a sweatshirt that zips up in the front, he could put it on over the jersey and leave it unzipped so he could still see the design. But I also don't think it is hazardous or unhealthy to be cold, short of frostbite-type conditions.<br><br>
The obsession with specific articles of clothing strikes me as a bit odd but my feeling would be to respect that, not stifle it. Maybe get him a second set of everything if that makes laundering easier.
 
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