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Reading that other thread inspired me to write down all the insane, intrusive and insulting things people have said to us over the past 18 mos. since we've had our son. Keep in mind I'm leaving out all the ones we all get all the time (How much did it cost to get him? Where are his real parents? You're such good people for taking him in, etc.)<br><br>
"So will he still be able to get extra scholarships and get into college easier?" I guess they assume that because he has white parents he's somehow no longer a minority? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
"Wow, your kids are exact opposites! She's so white and he's so....um...." Followed by uncomfortable silence. I thought about going into all the things my kids actually have in common, but it was more enjoyable to let her suffer for a while with her foot in her mouth.<br><br>
Discussing Ethiopian cuisine: "I didn't know Ethiopians had a national cuisine. That's funny, because none of them really have any food." <i>Um, yeah, starving children are hilarious.</i> I've actually gotten versions of this three times.<br><br>
"You're just like Brangelina!" Right. I adopted my son to make a fashion statement.<br><br>
"He doesn't have AIDS, does he?" No, but if he did, do you think I'd share that personal medical information with a complete stranger?<br><br>
"Oh, he's so cute! I really want to get a baby from Africa!" Yeah, they're all just interchangeable adorable little commodities, aren't they?<br><br>
Oh, and one more pet peeve I have: Am I the only one whose spine was grating every time Ryan Seacrest announced on the "Idol Gives Back" episode that they had gone to "Africa?" "Here we are in Africa!" "We're helping African children!" Geez, it's a CONTINENT, consisting of dozens of countries. People would look at you like you were a freak if you told them you were from North America, a continent only consisting of three countries.<br><br>
Thanks for letting me rant.<br><br>
Amanda
 

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I can't believe someone asked you if he had aids!!! That is sick.<br>
I will tell you after watching Oprah's shows on Africa and the work she is doing there- I wanted to adopt a child from Africa.... Or just adopt period.<br>
It was very moving to see the poverty and want to HELP.<br>
So I can..... see why someone would say that....unknowingly....<br>
The images and the reality are disturbing....<br>
but adopting because you feel it is some civic duty and because you can- and well- these kids need homes.... well.... that is not okay either.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I can't believe someone asked if he had AIDS!<br><br>
OT: can you tell me how to pronounce Eyob? It looks beautiful.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Sure - his name is pronounced AY - uhb (kind of rhymes with Jacob) and it's the Ethiopian form of Job. Actually in Ethiopia they pronounce it more like eh - YOBE, but this way isn't that much different and a lot easier for Americans to pronounce.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kkeake</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7972453"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"You're just like Brangelina!" Right. I adopted my son to make a fashion statement.</div>
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I have two kids from Ethiopia. One of them does indeed have AIDS. So I can relate to a lot of the things you mentioned. However, I don't think that Angelina Jolie adopted Zahara to make a fashion statement, and I think it's just as unfair of you to imply that about another adoptive parent as it is for uninformed ingnoramouses to say some of the things they have said to you.<br><br>
dm
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dharmamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984155"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">...However, I don't think that Angelina Jolie adopted Zahara to make a fashion statement, and I think it's just as unfair of you to imply that about another adoptive parent as it is for uninformed ingnoramouses to say some of the things they have said to you.<br><br>
dm</div>
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Yes, I agree.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dharmamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984155"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have two kids from Ethiopia. One of them does indeed have AIDS. So I can relate to a lot of the things you mentioned. However, I don't think that Angelina Jolie adopted Zahara to make a fashion statement, and I think it's just as unfair of you to imply that about another adoptive parent as it is for uninformed ingnoramouses to say some of the things they have said to you.<br><br>
dm</div>
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I also agree. Unfortunately your rude comment completely detracted from the rest of what you had to say which otherwise might have been interesting. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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After my first shock at what I thought she said, I gathered she meant more of a snark on somebody who is suggesting anybody <i>was</i> doing it for attention or to be 'fashionable' (is it too soon to diss on Joan Crawford's motives? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Yes, I can see how you may have interpreted my statement about "Brangelina" that way. What upsets me is not that celebrities are adopting but that some people see that celebrities are adopting and therefore think it is fashionable or trendy, like certain clothing trends or hobbies. I think that the humanitarian work Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have done and continue to do is amazing, and I appreciate the fact that their celebrity status has raised awareness to the plight of AIDS orphans like my son. I just get really upset when other people assume we adopted because it's the "in" thing to do right now. Like the "Adoption is the new black" t-shirt.<br><br>
I am new to forum chatting and I see now the danger of cyber communication - absolutely no way to read tone and no immediate way to clear up miscommunications. I apologize if I offended anyone. I really did not intend it the way some of you interpreted it.<br><br>
To the person who complimented my children's names: thanks.<br><br>
Amanda
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s, Amanda--just a misunderstanding! Congrats on your upcoming babe, by the way!
 
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