[SugarAndSun]

I am feeling conflicted!

: I do not want my dc to be materialistic and mindless consumers and therefore try to make conscious buying choices, etc. I find that we now have quite a few toys though. I wouldn't say we are overflowing or anything, but.... Anyway, I am tempted to rid us of many of them, but then can't help recalling all the studies that show that one of the contributing factors to the disparity in learning, achievement, etc among kids from different socioeconomic classes is their access to toys. Am I shooting myself in the foot by throwing out their toys. Should I just be thankful for our abundance and let them enjoy them.

I should add that I am pretty organized. What is really prompting this is that ds1 and ds2 are fighting over everything! I find it quite distasteful. I feel like we just have so much plastic junk around and here they are fighting over it. Get it out of here! Am I barking up the wrong tree?

Sorry for the disjointed thoughts here. Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

[mamaveggie]

I feel the same way. With dd being 18months and another on the way, I want to purge a lot, but than I get to thinking what if the new one would have liked that. Most of the things that I get rid of are gifts that I wouldn't have bought her anyway, but the guilt is still there. I did notice something when we spent 2 weeks at mil's while our bathroom was being remodeled. I brought very few toys with us, but she played with them longer and did different things with them instead of running from toy to toy like she does at home.

Less stuff= more creative play?

 

[Leta]

I would check out the Waldorf philosophy on toys- the good, the bad, the pointless. It's illuminating.

 

[ShannonCC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SugarAndSun can't help recalling all the studies that show that one of the contributing factors to the disparity in learning, achievement, etc among kids from different socioeconomic classes is their access to toys.

Really? I've wondered things like that. Do you have any links or was it something you read on paper?

I have to say I'll never go as minimal as some of the mamas here. We unschool so I want to have lots of good, random stuff around for the kids to pick up and say "hey, this looks interesting". I think unschooling would be harder on me if we had a minimalist home (and banned tv, banned computer time for the kids, etc). Most of the unschooling mamas I know (and many of the homeschoolers) have homes that are delightfully full of interesting stuff. So yeah, I do see the educational side

But that's not to say I need tons of *junk* around. Toys are pretty easy actually. I know what they play with and what just gets moved aside to get to the stuff they play with. That's what I go with. They also have a large, loving extended family so new stuff (quality and junk alike - ok, mostly junk) is always coming in and I'm always dealing with it. I used to get really cranky about it but now I choose to say thank you and reflect on how much their relatives love them while quietly shoving the junk out the backdoor

The fighting though . . . . that's different. I don't think kids fight because they have too many toys. I think they fight because sometimes they fight. Getting rid of ALL the toys will stop them fighting over toys, sure, but then what about food? Or who gets to pick the next read aloud book? Or who gets to piggy back first? Or who gets to play with the wooden, open ended, creative, hand made toy? I think dealing with fighting and sharing is a seperate issue from clutter. And it also depends on age (I didn't note your kid's ages) and personality.

Also this

Quote:

I do not want my dc to be materialistic and mindless consumers and therefore try to make conscious buying choices

There's no reason you can't raise them like this but it doesn't have to mean you get rid of the stuff they have now too. If they enjoy and play with everything they have now, I wouldn't get rid of it but that's me. I only get rid of things my kids don't actually play with/use.

But, if you haven't already (I'm guessing it's come up!) you can start talking to them now about resources, landfills, money, etc and how you don't just impulse buy the first thing you see. Talk about advertising, shelf placement, bring up toys they bought in the past that looked cool at first but only got played with for 2 days. Stuff like that.

And yes, I know I'm on the decluttering board and I know that probably everyone who responds to me will disagree,

I hope you find what works for you and your family

 

[kettunainen]

If they're playing with all the toys they have, then I wouldn't get rid of any of them. If there are several that they haven't touched in weeks or months, you might want to bring this to their attention to see whether they have any attachment to said toy and whether it might be ok to donate it to someone who doesn't have as many toys as them.

Do not do as my MIL did with my DW when she was a little girl and discretely take away some toys that were not thought to have been played with much and donate them to Goodwill. They occasionally shopped at Goodwill and, lo, DW discovered a toy that was just like the one she had been missing! It was, indeed, hers. Her mother was so embarrassed and ended up having to buy it back for DW. (This was before places like this shipped donated items to other stores in other cities so situations like this didn't happen.)

Decluttering other peoples belongings should be a cooperative process.

Also, it's not so much a matter of quantity as it is of quality. You can have lots of bling bling toys that don't stimulate the mind nearly as much as a few, well-selected, open-ended toys that inspire imagination and creativity.

 

[beka1977]

Do you talk to your kids? Do they have things to do? Do they have things to play with even though those "toys" may be cardboard boxes and measuring spoons? I think this is what is important. Compare that image to a child left alone to watch endless television, with nothing and no one to play with... I think that is where disparity come in.

We have very few types of toys, but we have lots of those toys to allow for a variety and large scope of play. We have cars, trains, animals/tree fort, and marble track. Four bins of stuff not including books. But we have a lot of track, we build tracks to cover the living room, long winding projects.... So it doesn't feel as annoying to me because there isn't a vast quantity of "stuff" but my kids still get to be creative and involved.