Morning Agony

My dh is from a Mediterranean country where they also have (by American standards) a late supper. However, what they do is have 5 o'clock tea and while the adults take some small snack, it's more robust for the kids. Then at the supper, the kids are not extremely hungry, but eat a little bit. Dh's family's kids are in bed by 9:30 without being overly full, but satisfied and able to rest easily.

So, if supper is at 9:00, I don't see any reason why the kids can't be in bed by 9:30. They have a small meal with the parents' supper , then the au pair whisks them off to get ready for bed. I don't understand the lag time between a meal at 9:00pm and bedtime at 10:30. Dad has the half hour before dinner to spend with the kids and then he needs to utilize the weekends to spend time with them. It's just something they have to do because of their lifestyle. I realize the father probably can't adjust his schedule (SIL's hubby leaves work at 10am), but a lack of sleep for children is absolutely UNHEALTHY and even affects how their brains develop.

Thanks so far... the 3 year old takes a daily nap as part of her 8 hour school day. Actually she might be better off without it as I suppose this is what gives her the little extra she needs to power through til post dinner fun with her dad. My cousin describes their post dinner activities along the lines of dancing around to music and generally energetic.

The problem is is that the family is not willing to change any part of their routine. While it's great that kids are included in nearly everything here, the downside is that there is often little adaptation their needs.

Mornings are obviously a regular problem as the au pair agreement specifically designates 8-9 am as au pair time. I think the parents have just decided that it is too difficult and have passed the problem along. My cousin, who is gentle and sunny by nature, is being asked to get them ready by nine using whatever it takes, including being rough and physical. Thus far, she's tried talking to the kids about possible solutions from their perspective, promising a special treat for making it through the week well, alternating whether they eat or get dressed first, being empathetic with them...