[hawkfeather]

This was just a thought- after reading a therad that included comments about large breasted women.

How much do you think a mother's "looks" affects people's public attitudes with breastfeeding?

I can say my weigth have been all over the map, and just now i sat and thought about it a bit. I would think like most things when i was overweight i would catch more flack but when i think about my *own* situation it was the opposite, when i was thin people gave me a hard time about nursing. When i had smaller breasts people complained more.

Now i haev no idea if this amounts to anything.. but i have five kids and in my own experince it has been true.

I am just curious to se what others think about this?

I think it speaks a lot to how ridiculous it is when people find fault with public nursing.

 

[alegna]

It's an interesting thought. I do think that a mom's attitude has a big part in whether she's given a hard time or not. No one has ever said boo to me.

-Angela

 

[frontierpsych]

One of the first threads I ever read on NIP (on a mainstream forum) was about how disgusting it was when FAT women NIP. Oooookay, yeah, so, it's really not NIP that they're uncomfortable with in that case as much as seeing a little jelly roll. Hey, i'm normally pretty thin, and so is my family, so I'm not used to seeing rolls, but they should be just as widely accepted as thin bodies.

 

[frenchie]

deleted

 

[Plummeting]

Looks affect everything, so I'm sure it does matter.

 

[BelgianSheepDog]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frenchie I never had much reaction from people in public...but I have a little story that definately is on topic... My husband and I took our son to Chuck E Cheese yesterday. There was an extremely overweight lady sitting in the booth behind us, facing my husband. As my husband was looking right in her direction, she lifted her shirt all the way up, exposing her her boob and the bottom half of her torso, while waiting for her child to get in her lap to nurse (she was nursing a toddler). My husband just looked away, and didn't react. He was completely skeeved, not by the boob itself, but the whole package. I know my husband sounds like an asshat right about now, but this is what he said...(after telling me he was grossed out ast having seen the boob and the rolls) "I didn't react, because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. I didn't want her to think I was grossed out by public breastfeeding. Infact, I wanted to cheer her on, more mommas need to be breastfeding their babies." I know had it been a slender lady with nice plump tatas, he wouldn't have looked away, and he wouldn't have been grossed out. I suppose there is some validity to the idea that a mother's appearance and/or attitude has an affect on the public's perception of NIP. I always nursed my son with a big smile....well, with exception of those first couple of weeks

Yeah, let's bring on the "omg I saw a fatty nursing and it grossed out my delicate DH!" stories. Lord knows my ego is crazy out of control and needs to be downsized.

:

 

[PortraitPixie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog Yeah, let's bring on the "omg I saw a fatty nursing and it grossed out my delicate DH!" stories. Lord knows my ego is crazy out of control and needs to be downsized. :

*sigh*

 

[Starflower]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hawkfeather I would think like most things when i was overweight i would catch more flack but when i think about my *own* situation it was the opposite, when i was thin people gave me a hard time about nursing. When i had smaller breasts people complained more.

My emphasis added above.

I wonder if in this case, people were more offended by NIP by a thin (attractive by society's standards) mother because they were more likely to view her as a sexual object than an overweight NIP mother.

I am overweight but not obese. The only time anyone ever looked uncomfortable about my NIPing was while I was at a belly dance festival and I had just finished performing and was still wearing my costume. (My DD will not accept being covered.) I decided in this situation to move to a quieter, less crowded place because I felt a little at odds myself and the costume was difficult to nurse in anyway. My point being here that I was dressed in a way that would be seen as sexual but there I was nursing a 2 yr. old.

I also agree with alegna that the nursing mom's attitude plays a part in how well she is accepted.

Slightly OT here - one cool thing about this particular festival is that big is beautiful. Most of the dancers are a bit hefty, a few are thin, and a few are very large. All of them are beautiful. And this also relates back to what alegna said about attitude playing a big part in whether or not someone is given a hard time.

 

[firstkid4me]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog Yeah, let's bring on the "omg I saw a fatty nursing and it grossed out my delicate DH!" stories. Lord knows my ego is crazy out of control and needs to be downsized. :

I don't think this was about saying "Fat people nursing is nasty" I think it was just a story to prove the point that some people will be grossed out by a larger woman breastfeeding than a skinny person. I don't mind a buff dude in a Speedo, but a larger man in a Speedo will get a shudder from me, kwim?

hawkfeather, I think that looks probably do play a big part in two ways. If a woman looks like she's capable of kicking your butt, I doubt someone is going to go up and say anything for fear of angering the woman. Also, I think if the person doesn't fit into society's mold of what an attractive person is, then they'll get bad looks too. I nursed my daughter while grocery shopping today (she was in the cart, and she fell asleep while I was shopping, leaning against the padded siding of our cart cover) and I got a few people giving me looks, but no one said anything to me (I even had a conversation with an employee about where to find good flank steak.) I'm pretty sure that I don't fall into society's mold of an attractive person though

 

[firstkid4me]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starflower My emphasis added above. I wonder if in this case, people were more offended by NIP by a thin (attractive by society's standards) mother because they were more likely to view her as a sexual object than an overweight NIP mother. I am overweight but not obese. The only time anyone ever looked uncomfortable about my NIPing was while I was at a belly dance festival and I had just finished performing and was still wearing my costume. (My DD will not accept being covered.) I decided in this situation to move to a quieter, less crowded place because I felt a little at odds myself and the costume was difficult to nurse in anyway. My point being here that I was dressed in a way that would be seen as sexual but there I was nursing a 2 yr. old. I also agree with alegna that the nursing mom's attitude plays a part in how well she is accepted. Slightly OT here - one cool thing about this particular festival is that big is beautiful. Most of the dancers are a bit hefty, a few are thin, and a few are very large. All of them are beautiful. And this also relates back to what alegna said about attitude playing a big part in whether or not someone is given a hard time.

That's a good point that I hadn't thought of.

 

[mothragirl]

i'm quite young looking and heavily tattooed and i think people are really suprised when they see me NIP. i think the whole package just plain confuses them.

 

[hawkfeather]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starflower I wonder if in this case, people were more offended by NIP by a thin (attractive by society's standards) mother because they were more likely to view her as a sexual object than an overweight NIP mother. .

My original question was really about the sexualization of the female body. I find it ironic and about as painful as humanly possible that when i was about 130 i was viewed as a more sexual being.. even with a spinning out of control eating disorder, the UN healthy i have been.. and now healthy at 200 pounds I am viewed as wrong by our warped ideals.

I asked this question not to invite negative comments about heavy mommas at all, but to dialouge about the sexual nature in which we are viewed. To me anyone having a sexual association in relation to thier problems with NIP instantly invalidates the public decency issues argued far and wide.

I suspect that the breastfeeding is the issue because people can not oogle a woman on the same level if she is being maternal. If there was no baby and just a pair of breats half the people complaining would be cheering.

As an overweight momma I can not say that comments implying *disgust* at me breastfeeding bother me much.. I am used to the attitude and I have seen far too many Gorgeous Round Goddess mommas breastfeeding to be fooled.

 

[Sagesgirl]

I really don't know. I am overweight by about 30 pounds, but "carry it really well" (I have a healthy body fat percentage)...I am distinctly top-heavy, and I guess kinda pretty. I get looks, if you KWIM.

At the risk of sounding a bit vain, I can say this. Once someone has said something negative to me about NIP (and it was only obliquely negative), and twice I have had to overhear people making snarky comments about it. In two out of the three cases, the folks who had a problem with me NIP were distinctly less attractive than I. So maybe that is another issue to consider? I don't know.

I have been breastfeeding nonstop for over four years now. I have nursed in public literally hundreds of times. So three negative experiences is just a minute amount. I think it is mainly to do with two things: most people don't even realize what I am up to (both times I got to overhear snarky comments, ironically, I was using a blanket as a cover-up because I was wearing a dress that necessitated bearing an entire breast to nurse), and I apparently give off a do-not-approach attitude. Maybe looks have something to do with it as well, but honestly it's not something I have ever stopped to consider before now.

 

[alegna]

All interesting thoughts. Without a doubt our culture has issues with people who are "overweight", especially women.

-Angela

 

[Autumnschild]

You know, I never really thought about weight or breast size being an issue. To me, it is all about how a woman carries herself that gives me an impression. Large or small breasted, you can tell if a woman is uncomfortable with NIP by her mannerisms and that is what always catches my attention. For instance, I was most amazed with a friend of mine when we both had newborn babies at the park. She is very flat-chested. She was wearing a little sundress and when my baby started crying, her milk let down and the front of her dress became very wet. We were sitting with a group of people, and she just looks down and laughs and says, "look, your baby started crying and my milk is responding" like it was nothing at all. She didn't even try to hide it.

Her ease with her body's natural functions made everyone else around her feel comfortable.

SO...my point is (yes I have a point) is that maybe a woman who is self-conscious about her size or breast size, whether large or small, would be more likely to bring attention to herself because people can sense her discomfort.

 

[frenchie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog Yeah, let's bring on the "omg I saw a fatty nursing and it grossed out my delicate DH!" stories. Lord knows my ego is crazy out of control and needs to be downsized. :

Not trying to insult anybody, just validating the point the OP was making. If y'all would like me to erase my post, I will.

 

[thismama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog Yeah, let's bring on the "omg I saw a fatty nursing and it grossed out my delicate DH!" stories. Lord knows my ego is crazy out of control and needs to be downsized. :

When I read that post I thought, "Huh, that might have been me."

 

[Clarinet]

So, we're moving from "nurse discretely so I don't have to look at your boobies" to "nurse discretely because I don't want to see how fat you are?" I didn't need to hear the story of how fat people gross out your husband. Really.

And I wish everyone would stop comparing the uncoverage associated with breastfeeding to junk like big hairy men in speedos, workers with their butt cracks hanging out, prostitutes, nudists and Hooter's girls. To each his own.

 

[LydiaJW]

I get negative reactions when I'm smaller rather than larger. I think the reason for that, though, is that people look and me and don't expect me to be a bfer, especially with my giant pudgy 18 month old daughter. I'm thin for my height, and I'm youngish so I barely look like I should HAVE said daughter at all. So people are more likely to be like "whoah!" when they see me lift up my shirt NOW than say, right after delivery when I've still got a good 30 lbs on me.

 

[hawkfeather]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frenchie Not trying to insult anybody, just validating the point the OP was making. If y'all would like me to erase my post, I will.

I am not sure how to say this without sounding harsh, but that really does not validate the point i was trying to make what so ever.

I am not sure erasing it would help, it seems to have already hurt people.

I read comments all the time about people saying we should not NIP because it is "disgusting", I suppose I always thought that the act of nursing was what was deemed disgusting, now i wonder how much people are refering to the woman's breasts or body. Breasts not used in a sexual manner seem to bother peole a lot.