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I am tortured by this decision. We have three options: Stay where we are, find another house in the city, move to the suburbs.<br><br>
We currently live in a small 2 bd 1 ba house in the city. We love love love our old house - hardwood floors, high ceilings, original trim, very light and bright, etc. But it's still city living - buses going by, not a very family friendly area, dirty-ish streets, not many trees. We have a very cute but small backyard, but you have to walk through the laundry room and down the stairs to get to it, so we don't use it all that often. We bought it 9 years ago so we can actually afford the payments in an area that is really expensive now. But we are outgrowing the house - the kids are in our bedroom, the bathroom is tiny, very little closet space, etc. Plus, I'm getting a little burnt out on city living with kids -dealing with parking issues and busy streets, no trick or treating, concrete playgrounds, etc. We do happen to have a family next door with kids that my kids play with, so that's lucky. But they are moving in two years (staying in the city but to a different neighborhood where their son's catholic school is).<br><br>
We considered finding another place in the city. But a house in the areas we really like are sooooo expensive (at least $1.2million) and I don't see us affording that anytime soon. Plus, you still are right next to everyone else, you still have to fight for parking just to go to the grocery store, you still have buses and all the other stuff. But we really love so much about this city - anytime I am out without the kids I practically cry with how much I love this place. Plus, we have 4 beaches within 5 minutes of us, which we love.<br><br>
Then there are the suburbs, where dh and I grew up. Lovely place, tons of nature and mountains and trees, very expensive, but not as expensive as the city. Couldn't afford our dream house, but could find a nice bland 3bd 2ba. All our family is there. Nicer weather overall (but a tad hot for me in the summer). Quiet streets - kids can ride their bikes around, trick or treat in their neighborhood, play on the culdesac, etc. It's about 20 minutes from the city.<br><br>
But I fear I might go insane if I move to the suburbs. I love how wacky and different all the people in the city are, rather than how white and rich everyone in the burbs is. Also, we hs and the community of hs'ing in the burbs is not nearly as lively as it is here. It's certainly not perfect here, but at least there is a lot to do culturally and we have made some good friends. We of course could still see them, but it's not the same.<br><br>
As much as I love the city, I feel a longing to give my kids safe streets, a family neighborhood, and summer nights in our big backyard. But we'd be giving up our beautiful old house, the gourmet restaurants all over, the multicultural surroundings, the ocean, and just the general advantage of being in the city to access all it has to offer.<br><br>
So, wwyd?
 

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I would definitely move to the suburbs. More living space and lots more nature. Sounds good in my book! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I'd sell. You would still be only 20 minutes away from the culture, the oceans etc. but your kids will have "room to run".<br><br><br>
Good Luck w/ your decision.
 

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20 minutes is not that bad a drive. I lived about 25 minutes from the downtown area of a huge city all my life (less from some areas, more from others) and we regularly utilized the resources. And we are also homeschoolers. You never know, you might be surprised and find a good, active hs group once you get out there, kwim? I say move. You can have the best of both worlds. Country life near the city. Is it possible to look for a more diverse suburb? The area I lived in was very diverse, including my own town. . Good luck in whatever you decide. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I would sell. I am from the Bay Area, actually SF and surrounding areas. There are plenty of suburban neighborhoods around SF that would offer ocean, culture and nature in your area! I know it's hard to leave the city. I know that for me, when we did it was bittersweet, but wow was I able to just inhale really deeply and breeeeeeeeaaaaaaathe.
 

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A 20 minute drive to the city is very do-able, and possibly within reach of public transportation. You could move to the 'burbs and keep the same HSing group. You could probably go into the city several times a week for various activities, but do your food shopping where there's easy parking and have a backyard for the kids to play in.
 

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Could you keep your current house, rent it and use the proceeds to fund housing in the burbs? Then if you hate it out there, you could afford to move back. If you love it, then sell the city place (or keep it if that's better).
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">Could you keep your current house, rent it and use the proceeds to fund housing in the burbs? Then if you hate it out there, you could afford to move back. If you love it, then sell the city place (or keep it if that's better).</div>
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That sounds smart to me. And hey, once the kids are old enough to have more activities and independence of their own, y'all might appreciate city-living more again. Both for you and for the kids-- they could do a lot more without waiting on the suburban Mom-mobile all the time, and you could have some time and space to yourself in your city of dreams.<br><br>
The bedroom thing could be a continuing issue with teenagers, though.
 

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I should preface this by saying that the suburbs are my idea of hell on earth. I LOVE the city and would never leave for the suburbs. Lots of folks like the draw of space, the notion of safety, etc. But when I go to the burbs I feel like it is whitewashed, lifeless, drive everywhere ville and I can't stand it. I would stay personally.
 

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I lived in NYC for over 15 years and had many of the same issues. I would have preferred to stay personally, because I find different types of lifestyles to be a little boring, but we did end up leaving. Seven years later I'm so glad we did-my dds have a quality of life here that couldn't be replicated in NYC. Granted, city life has a lot to offer kids as well, but fortunately the activities here really suit the personalities of mine. My dds would feel stifled living in the city. So, my answer is-I'd move and have a new, different experience!
 

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I'm going insane in the burbs, so I'd be very, very careful about moving there if you think that's a possibility. Seriously, if I have to listen to one more effing conversation about manicures/Disneyland/the weather I'm going postal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:<br><br>
Um, realistically... I'd stay put if I were you. I know your neighbors are driving you nuts at the moment, but I'd give it a couple of months at least to smooth over before you make any big decisions.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I would be in heaven if we could keep our house. Financially it would be great because we could rent it for about $1,000 more a month than our mortgage payment. But sadly, because of the cost of housing, there is no way we can buy a new house without getting our money out of this house.<br><br>
And this decision has nothing to do with our neighbors. We were considering this long before the whole satellite dish/spotlight issue. In fact, one reason moving scares me is because you never know what kind of neighbors you are going to end up with. The ones I'm dealing with right now are irritating to say the least, but it could be sooo much worse!
 

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I don't know, we moved to burbs and I'm missing being in the city and now want to move back (just not to the same one).<br><br>
drawbacks of the burbs<br><br>
face it the farther you have to drive the less likely you are to do it<br>
so homogenous<br>
much less variety of shopping, movies, restaurants, delivery ect
 

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I'm a city person. I grew up in the center of a small town, but I've lived in big cities (Baltimore, Chicago, Cairo) for the last 17 years. From what I've seen of the 'burbs, I'd chew off my own leg to escape them, so take this advice for what it's worth, which may only be bus fare to the library. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
Have you explored less expensive city neighborhoods? Since you home school (IIRC), you can be pretty flexible about where you choose to live. Cities often have less expensive, little known enclaves. I'd poke around and see what you can come up with before you give up and move. Alternatively, maybe you could explore the suburbs to see if there are some that have a bit more of an urban feeling to them than others. Maybe if you could find a place in the "downtown" section of a little town that has grown into a suburb, you will feel more comfortable than if you are out in some development.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">In fact, one reason moving scares me is because you never know what kind of neighbors you are going to end up with. The ones I'm dealing with right now are irritating to say the least, but it could be sooo much worse!</td>
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Neighbor issues are much less intense the more space you have between neighbors. When you have a 1/2 acre lot..that is quite a bit of space between houses. None of your current neighbor problems would even remotely be an issue in the suburbs, as there is so much more space between houses.
 

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We have plenty of space b/w our neighbors and it doesn't make the issues less intense.<br><br>
Lived in the burbs. Had to go on anti-depressents.<br><br>
Now I live sort of outside, sort of inside the city. Hard to explain. Houston is such a sprawl.<br><br>
Our house is small, but we do have 3/2. And we really like the area. For Houston. Didn't choose to live somewhere with a less expensive bigger house because we wanted to be in the area we are in.<br><br>
Can you add on? Renovate? Hire someone to come in and help you reorganize. And then give yourself time to find the perfect new place to move to before the kids are teens.
 

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I wouldn't sell a house in SF. What are the odds of ever getting your foot in the door there again. You are very lucky to have bought when you did, into a great city.<br><br>
U.S. suburbs are a version of hell on earth.
 

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You can afford the house you have.<br><br>
You love it.<br><br>
You love city living despite the less wonderful aspects.<br><br>
I would learn how to utilize space even better (Hey, I'm about to move into an rv full time, so your house sounds huge to me!) and stay put for those reasons alone.<br><br>
But you homeschool, so I would absolutely stay put right where you are.<br><br>
Homeschooling in the burbs outside the city means a LOT of commuting and TONS of gas and eventually, my guess is you will wish you lived closer in--and there won't be any way to afford buying back into the city.<br><br>
Also, people tend to move to the burbs in order to use the better schools. Chances are you won't have any kids around all day long. It gets lonely. In the city, you are right, the homeschool groups are MUCH more active.<br><br>
IMO if you want to socialize with other homeschoolers and have that nearby, you shouldn't move.<br><br>
Change the house, repaint, redecorate, go to IKEA and get some space saving idea's. Plant a tree in your little backyard, go to the park.<br><br>
Or buy a tiny pop up camper and start taking longer weekend trips out to the country, so you can enjoy the woods without giving up a home you can afford and a lifestyle that you enjoy.<br><br>
Oh, and if you enjoy all the food options, yes, you will miss that dearly moving away. I know, I've been there. If you are foodies, living in the burbs is torture.
 

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How old are your kids? Have you sat down and talked about it with them? What does your partner say?<br><br>
You know, the grass is always greener. It sounds like you're pretty happy, all things considered, and this is from someone who has chosen the 'burb path.<br><br>
Throw a helluva Halloween party next year, and you'll forget about trick-or-treat. it's overrated, anyway.
 
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