Mothering Forum banner

1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,304 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
<p>w e do not have a time like but we will be moving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>a job is coming open in teh office we vant in Jan, and another latert in the year.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>there is A TON to deal with that effects the move -- both the house and professionally for DH -- so there is no good time line at this point, and part of the challange is there is not going to be a good time line till we jumnp in -- so we are going to be forced to wade in to the "process" of moving without good data to give the boys (5 and 3).  like, oh when.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ds1 just trunred 5.  he is profoundly speech delayed, though that is much better.  he is gifted.  he is also SPD and has prominate anxiety and very very very limited copeing skills and also lack self regualtion ablities (3+ years behind if not more).  He is very emotional, and moods go FAST -- there is not always a lot of lead in -- one thing, a word, a DVD freezing, what hev you can casue INSTANT emotional uphevel.  he is hard to calm and has =very limited about to self sooth -- very very limited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>so now the challnage -- we have to get the house ready to go on the market (move stuff out and around, clean, pack up a lot of stuff), then we have to manage the house on the market and we have to sell it.  then we have to move ....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>the move is, 90% sure, to the town Pa Pa and grandma live as well as the town my BFF and her Dh and 3 kids JUST MOVED TO -- DS1 looooves her boys. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>but he is flipping out if Dh or i even talk about anything that suggest a move -- i asks DH this am about renting a storage unit now or after the 1st and DS1 FLIPPED; sobbing and sobbing adn YELLING "no move, no move, stay here, staying here, i am not going" and sobbing .....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know kids do better with "facts" -- on march 3 we will go live in this house -- see the photo -- ....but we do not have the ablity to have a conservation like that, and frankly untill the house sells we won't be able to.  The move depends on the house, so i don't even have the ablity to tell him what is going to happen or when, beacuse it is all up in the air and the 'next step' can not be choosen untill the one we are on is "done'. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>sucks, i hate it too -- it is incredible hard for me too -- but at 30-*cough* years i have learned to force myself to be ok .... he is 5 and don't know how to cope with normal life this is just so BIG.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am at a loss for how to help him be ok, i am at a loss for how to even just accomplish life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>HELP I am scared this is just gonna be too much --- i fear he is going to loose all the GREAT progress he made in the last year, he is so much more mature, and the 'rubber bouncy ball" behavior that used to be daily is almost infrequent now.  he has made such great strides in functional life and almost seeming like he is his age. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just am at a loss -- and we've done nothing yet but think about it and talk about it a time or 2 ...</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,054 Posts
<p>I don't have any great insights, just a big hug for you as we went through this with my SPD, anxious 5 yo dd this fall. She was a wreck when we told her we 'might' be moving..wouldn't go to sleep, really stressed, acting out. Once we new 100% that we would be moving, she was much better. Once we knew where we were moving to, much better. And overall she adjusted really well to the move after the fact. </p>
<p>Sorry I don't have more helpful advice--will he listen at all if you talk to him, things like: 'I know I feel two different things about moving: happy to be closer to grandparents and BFF, but sad to be leaving our home & friends.' Hearing me articulate my ambivalence (and we even taught her the word ambivalent), seemed to help dd. She has a really, really hard time expressing what she is feeling and I think this makes her more anxious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,304 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
<p>thanks.</p>
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top