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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay so i am now single, i am seriously just keeping my head above water these days but one big thing happened, today an old friend of mine called after she heard about my situation through the grapevine, she offered me a job working with her as a photographer she just recently opened up her own company and needs help with all the clients that are interested in her, i have always wanted to do this, but i run into two few major problems with this idea,<br>
1. My H and i JUST seperated, and are in the middle of a divorce, its been a lot for our kids, i dont want to put too much change into thier lives at once.<br>
2. Where my friend lives is 3 states away in California, i cannot even fathom moving three states with SIX kids!!!<br><br>
But this is a dream job for me, i dunno maybe some adive or sympathy/empathy would help <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:
 

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Hi. That is a big load with 6 children! But I did make a big move - not 3 states, but across one state, right after we divorced simply because I knew it would bring more stability for me and the kids in the long run. It sounds like a great opportunity for you - I have nothing more to add, but wanted to share that keeping things as normal as possible was my goal, but I knew it would be better for us to move, even though there was much going on.<br><br>
Best to you all.
 

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Hi mama - I moved. Several times. Some bigger moves, some smaller moves. You can do it. If it is the right thing for you, then you can do it. There is never anything that is going to be perfect, but if this move will be positive for you and the kids (and remember that positive for you IS positive for the kids), then you should go. Good luck with your decision.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>gradmama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9895989"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">and remember that positive for you IS positive for the kids</div>
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I have to respectfully say that this is not necessarily so. I would really take your girls' relationship with their father very much into consideration here, both short term and long term. My dream life is 1000 miles away from where I currently live, but I know that it is in my son's best interest to be here where he can have a consistent relationship with his father. And it is my responsiblity as his mother to make that a priority, as difficult as it is for me personally.
 

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I can't help out a lot with advice, but I do have to say that if you do move you should use Upack. I did this when I moved with my baby from TN to CO recently and it was helpful. We then flew here, and everything was here when we arrived. I know this is probably not an option for you with 6 kids. I would also say that it would be hard to support six children, so if you have a good job the kids will be resilient.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>WatermelonSnow</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9898724"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have to respectfully say that this is not necessarily so. I would really take your girls' relationship with their father very much into consideration here, both short term and long term. My dream life is 1000 miles away from where I currently live, but I know that it is in my son's best interest to be here where he can have a consistent relationship with his father. And it is my responsiblity as his mother to make that a priority, as difficult as it is for me personally.</div>
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This is definitely a good point - I guess I assumed that these were things that the OP was already taking into consideration when she posted that this was an option in the first place. And, also, if it wasn't a positive for my girls, I wouldn't really consider it a positive for me. I certainly have always dealt with this, weighing my girls' relationship with their father against what opportunities I could offer them with a move (i.e. they are in a much better school district, I am able to financially support them long-term in a much better manner, my role-modeling in terms of continuing education is valuable, etc.). In my case, this has meant that I move; the negatives (as in leaving friends, changing schools, etc.) were outweighed. But this would certainly not be the case in others' situations and may not have been the case in mine had situations been different.<br>
My message was (and is) should you decide that the move is a good thing for you and your children - you CAN do it. It's daunting, but not impossible.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for all the advice but i guess i should clear up some things too<br>
1. The girls' father took a job, on the other side of the country, that was one of the big ending factors to our marriage, he accepted this job and planned on moving without really taking the entire family into consideration. We still havent figured out a system for the whole custody thing, but i dont see a real problem with that since he will be far away wether i'm here or three states over....<br>
2. Where we would be moving we lived when my two oldest DDs were babies, so i know alot of people and my friend who offered me the job has a sister who runs a daycare, so that would be taken care of.<br><br>
I've been thinking alot about this and i plan on talking with my kids tonight about how they feel, i'm almost leaning more towards saying yes, but it's going to all depend on the kids.
 
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