[JoyofBirth]

Before Emma was born, we didn't plan on co-sleeping. But we ended up doing it. And I love it. Dh is feeling like Emma needs to be moved to her own bed, and even her

: own room. I will miss her in bed at night, but I really would like her to take more regular naps in her crib. I'm thinking maybe the way to go would be to sidecar the crib and slowly transition her to the crib and then her room over the next couple of months. Dh said he doesn't want a 1-year-old in our bed. Has anybody had success moving an infant to a crib? Emma is 7 1/2 months old. I could really use some advice from anyone who's BTDT. Thanks.

 

[alegna]

Since you asked....

I think that's way too young to be moving her to her own room. Maybe a side-car crib. But no way her own room. Just my opinion. I would talk to dh and see why he thinks she needs to move. I would have a problem with a grown man's wants coming before a baby's needs.

-Angela

 

[stafl]

seems to me that at such a young age, the only way to accomplish such a task would be to let her cry herself to sleep in her crib until she learns that you aren't going to comfort her (not something we advocate here at mdc). Ask your DH which is worse, sleeping with the baby in the bed, or listening to her cry? What harm is cosleeping doing? What about the potential harm of CIO?

Naps in the crib sound do-able, if you nurse your baby to sleep, then lay her down, and if you go pick her up as soon as she wakes before she starts to get upset. I suppose, if she sleeps through the night, the same thing would work for you. Lay her down in the crib once she's good and asleep. But nightwakings would be much rougher on you, having to get up, get baby up, nurse baby, put baby back in crib, go back to sleep, versus latch baby on, go back to sleep. Does your DH help with the nighttime parenting at all? Would he be willing to get up and bring the baby to you when she wakes at night? I don't know, I'm obviously opposed to the idea. It may be hard to find anyone here who has BTDT as regards moving such a young baby out of the family bed, this being the family bed forum and all.

 

[IncaMama]

well, i have a 26mo who is still happily co-sleeping...so my position is a bit skewed. i agree that *for me* 7 1/2 mos is a bit early to be in a different room. BUT, this isn't my child we're talking about. if it is something that BOTH of you want, and something that you think that your child would tolerate, then i would suggest taking it slowly like you're talking about. start out with sidecar (making sure there is NO WAY for the baby to get caught btwn the bed and the crib..if you can't secure the crib to the bed, don't do it. 7 1/2 mos is old enough to be mobile but not able to regulate her movements and not get caught/suffocate/fall. if you can't safely sidecar it, then i'd suggest either getting a co-sleeper that you know you CAN safely attach or just putting the crib in your room, with all rails on it and see how she does. you can start her out in your bed and transfer her to the crib if you think that would make sure she actually does fall asleep. remember that the key is that you want her to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep safely...that matters much more than *where* she sleeps, kwim? if putting her in the crib is making it harder for her to fall asleep or stay asleep, i'd suggest waiting until she's older before making the transition.

and i'd also suggest finding out why your DH doesn't want a 1yo in bed. i'm not judging his reasons, just saying that you should understand them fully before going through with it. if he's worried about intimacy, there are lots of suggestions that many of us BTDT long-time co-sleepers can offer. if he's worried about "what others say", that's another thing. i think that the most important thing is to make sure you know exactly what his concerns are...maybe there are some compromises you can make to make sure that you're *all* comfortable with the arrangement. your infant daughter included.

good luck!!

 

[my2girlsmama]

We've had success, if you can call it that LOL. We still don't get much sleep, you can't assume sleep will suddenly get great with a baby in another room, especially in the transition from family bed to own room/crib.

Our second, now 14.5 months old, was just transitioned last month to her crib/room for nights. She slept with us in our King bed from birth. I didn't ever think I'd want her out, and actually would bring her while sleeping IN the crib TO my bed when I retired at night. LOL. Boy did that change....once she got totally bed-hoggish and I ended up falling off bed and hurting from being kicked and kept up from being slapped.........I slooooooooooowly began to start her in her crib at night, lots of nursing when she woke, back to crib, then to my bed...and just widened the spans between crib to bed etc until she was continually put back to crib whenever she woke.

She still wakes every 1-3 hours to nurse and cuddle and I simply am there for her no matter how tired I am............and I am. She is learning to walk so I understand developmentally she probably won't settle on her own for a bit until things calm down...they usually don't.

We also always had her nap in the crib once she reached over 8 months..........so that helped, her transition has been good she loves her bed.........we added Blue's Clues sheets which she loves...little things to make her happy...........but mostly we're there for her and respond to her walking cries quickly.............I've had family say to let her cry and stay alone a bit when she wakes or she'll never settle but I know from my older child that is not true...they actually settle better if you respnd quickly....they learn that bed is safe and mama and daddy are nearby no matter where they sleep.

Good luck! Just go slow!

 

[JoyofBirth]

I"m not incredibly opposed to her sleeping in a crib in our room. But I"m not sure about her going into her own room. I don't think I'd get any sleep then. He's not talking about putting her in her own room like tonight but he wants to get there soon. His main reason is because we did a lot of work turning his office of our 2-bedroom apartment into a beautiful nursery for her and it's never been used and we'll be moving from here when she's 15 months-old, so it's not like she will use it when she's bigger. She also does a lot of sleep-crawling that I've slept through. Fortunately, she only crawls over to Daddy. So he worries about that. SHe's kind of a bed hog and likes to be touching both of us at the same time, which usually means she's sleeping sideways. And he said this morning that we have to get her crib in our room because he elbowed her in the head twice last night. So I guess there are a lot of things about that kinda bother him. He loves a lot of things about it too. And I think if we knew more people who did it, he'd be okay with it longer, but I don't know that. Our only co-sleeping friends just moved their 1-year-old to his own crib and his own room, so I'm wondering if maybe that is adding to his feelings.
As for Emma, I would never let her cry, especially at this age. Everybody says I"m so lucky because she's so well-behaved. It's not luck, she knows I'll meet her needs. Anyway, I think after the weekend, I'm going to try side-carring her crib. Anytime I've put her in the crib, she either wakes up right away or sleeps for 10 minutes. Dh hasn't help much at night because there hasn't been much to help with. I almost don't help with nighttime feedings, Emma pretty much does it herself. He helps when she crawls around, but that's about it. Thanks for that help. I'm off to see how to safely sidecar.

 

[Mommiska]

Hi - I just thought I'd give you our experience.

I moved ds out of my bed and into his cot (in another room) around 10-11 months or so. DH had been sleeping in the spare bedroom (he cant' sleep with a little one), plus ds was starting to really not sleep at all well with me (woke up all the time, whereas he slept great for naps in his cot).

Anyway - he was used to napping in his cot (I have two older daughters, so couldn't nap with him, and it wasn't safe for him to sleep on the bed by himself), so that helped.

I have always had a single bed in our 'baby' room, so whenever any of my children have woken at night (once they were in their own rooms), I could just go and get them and get into the single bed with them...that has always helped the transition a lot!

I would just put ds to bed and either dh or I would settle him when he woke up prior to midnight. He usually only woke up once between 8-12, but would go right back to sleep if I nursed him (he was also fine with dh cuddling him).

After midnight, if he woke up, I'd just get him and go to bed with him in the single bed.

He's 21 months now, and generally wakes up once around 11 pm - all he wants at that point is a drink of water (usually). Then he'll usually sleep until 7 am. We have done nothing to encourage him to sleep through other than night-weaning at 15 months (when I got pregnant again and just couldn't handle it).

So - it is do-able, and without sleep-training or trauma for the little one.

 

[Mommiska]

Bump

 

[JoyofBirth]

Update: Emma is still cozily snuggled between her mom and dad at night. I don't really wanna push it till my dh gets angry about, but it hasn't been mentioned anymore, so I'm wondering if maybe it wasn't just a bad night's sleep and feeling bad for elbowing his princess in his sleep that was talking and not his true feelings. Anyway, for now we're all still together. I've been trying to get Emma to nap in her crib, without much success. She's done it a couple times. She's a little girl who usually knows what she wants and is not easily deterred. (For which I am grateful.) Thanks for all the advice.

 

[alegna]

Yea! Glad to hear she's still all snuggly where she belongs. I bet it was just a bad night talking... I know that if I tried to move my dd out of bed my dh would go bonkers missing her and worrying about her.

-Angela

 

[kodiesmama]

guess i could offer my experience too...
when i first brought my son home, he slept with me, i didnt wana be away from him for a minute...but i was living with my mom at the time so there was no one else in my bed. i soon realized with kj's snoring and inch worm movements he couldnt stay there. he would roll and knock pillows over and kick like crazy. so he got a bassinet in my room beside the bed. when we moved in to my boyfriends house he got a new crib for him. that first night i watched him like a hawk, but kj LOVES his crib. in fact hes napping there now. But hes still in my room. I still havent decided when i'm gona put him in his own room. But hes only 2 months old, so that for me can wait. I'm thinking round 6 months. with the worlds greatest baby monitor and rountinly checks at night.
Personally its up to the mother and your baby really. If you feel your ready and feel confident your child will too. You can't hold on to them forever. But tell your man when hes has to carry Emma for nine months in his stomach and go thur all that, then he can decide when she leaves the bed, and that he'll go before she will