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<p>DD is not handling all the changes for our upcoming move very well and I'd really appreciate some suggestions on how to deal with it! We have so much to do in a very short amount of time and she's definitely picking up on our stress and acting out because of it (for instance, she had 4 potty accidents in a row today after being pretty much perfect all week).  DH and I would love it if we could just spend our weekend with her at the park, relaxing, playing etc but we just have such a long list of stuff to get done that it's unrealistic.  Add to that that we're pretty much traveling non-stop this month and next (and that next month she won't see DH for a few weeks due to a tricky visa situation), she's been underneath a bunch of stress too.  Plus we're also selling off our stuff and she's got a good enough memory to remember it and get pretty upset about things that start disappearing.  <br><br>
I'm just not sure what to do.  We've had some insane problems lately (DH was in the hopsital this past week, we have to get rid of our cat because a previous home for her fell through, my grandma is very sick, DH's laptop broke so we have to buy a new one ASAP, and due to my mom being insane we had almost $1000 of completely unexpected expenditures).  All I want to do is throw a tantrum but instead I have to prepare everything in our apt to go, fix the visa situation, prepare my thesis defense, and deal with a toddler who's confused and feeling neglected (she's certainly NOT neglected but we're just not getting as much playtime in as normal).  Also when we were traveling for the holidays last week DD keep begging us to go home (even though she does love her relatives very much).  I'm just not sure what to do since it's not like I can stuff this whirlwind of events that we have coming up? </p>
 

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<p>Hugs mama, really you need them!  I can totally sympathize.  We just completed a move after having to fix up the old house while living in it and also getting rid of a lot of our stuff.  And I got pregnant during this which changed our nursing experience, DS's night wakings went form 3-5 to 5-8+ and we had a lot of financial/work related stresses among many other life issues.  I am an instructor at a university (finished grad school last year so I can relate there too ) and I was absolutely swamped with work, having to keep my game up so I could get rehired next semester, which I still don't even know.  So I really feel for you and your DD.  Our DS is younger but acted out a lot and was frequently destroying things, screaming, etc.  He of course picked up on our stress and had a hard time dealing.</p>
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<p>BUT- the bright side:  We're in the new house, things have calmed down over the past month and DS has accepted it all and now loves it.  Kids are so adaptable and it really won't take long to get through this.  It just feels like an eternity when you are in the middle of it.  We tried our damnedest to give him extra love time and play time with each of us, and with both of us as much as we could.  If we were moving boxes for 6 hours, we would each stop for DS time whenever it seemed like he needed it.  DH wore him in the ergo when it was safe and we still had quiet, calm meals together.  We made sure to stick with nap and bedtime routines.  Sure this all didn;t work like a miracle and DS still was very upset frequently but we did our best.  We love our kids but they can't always be the center of the universe.  The other events in your life that are upsetting your DD are necessary or else you would not have made those decisions, so sometimes little ones have to buck up and take it.  It sounds harsh, they may not like it, but it will be over soon and things find a way of smoothing themselves out. Best of luck to you getting through this.  Though it may be obvious- ask for help if you can find it!!!!</p>
 

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<p>Thanks!  I really, really look forward to when we're moved and settled in.  The move will be good for us for so many reasons but it's just hard to lose track of that sometimes amongst the chaos.  <span><img alt="redface.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/redface.gif"></span> We really do try to involve DD but it's just never enough it feels like. </p>
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<p><span>I'm sorry you went through all that too! We've tried asking our usual babysitter if she can come more often but she's been busy</span> plus most of our friends are traveling for the holidays, which adds an extra kink.  I think that's probably the biggest problem is that we're moving right around the holidays!<br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>penstamon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282001/moving-with-a-toddler-and-staying-sane#post_16076424"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Hugs mama, really you need them!  I can totally sympathize.  We just completed a move after having to fix up the old house while living in it and also getting rid of a lot of our stuff.  And I got pregnant during this which changed our nursing experience, DS's night wakings went form 3-5 to 5-8+ and we had a lot of financial/work related stresses among many other life issues.  I am an instructor at a university (finished grad school last year so I can relate there too ) and I was absolutely swamped with work, having to keep my game up so I could get rehired next semester, which I still don't even know.  So I really feel for you and your DD.  Our DS is younger but acted out a lot and was frequently destroying things, screaming, etc.  He of course picked up on our stress and had a hard time dealing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BUT- the bright side:  We're in the new house, things have calmed down over the past month and DS has accepted it all and now loves it.  Kids are so adaptable and it really won't take long to get through this.  It just feels like an eternity when you are in the middle of it.  We tried our damnedest to give him extra love time and play time with each of us, and with both of us as much as we could.  If we were moving boxes for 6 hours, we would each stop for DS time whenever it seemed like he needed it.  DH wore him in the ergo when it was safe and we still had quiet, calm meals together.  We made sure to stick with nap and bedtime routines.  Sure this all didn;t work like a miracle and DS still was very upset frequently but we did our best.  We love our kids but they can't always be the center of the universe.  The other events in your life that are upsetting your DD are necessary or else you would not have made those decisions, so sometimes little ones have to buck up and take it.  It sounds harsh, they may not like it, but it will be over soon and things find a way of smoothing themselves out. Best of luck to you getting through this.  Though it may be obvious- ask for help if you can find it!!!!</p>
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<p>I'll second "keep bedtime/naptime routines as close to consistent as possible." Good luck... sounds like you guys have a lot on your plates right now.</p>
 
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