[lizabird]

My 4 yr old still nurses once every morning. I am so ready for him to wean.<br><br>
DS is a rather intense emotional child. He's been nursing once/day for about the last year and has NO intention of quitting any time soon. He is very articulate and we have had many discussions about this. If I even so much as suggest that there will be a day with no milk, he totally freaks out. This child really "NEEDS" to have that nursing connectoin, apparently, or at least as far as he's concerned. WIthout milk, the world will come to an end, I am sure.<br><br>
I am tired of his nursing. I find it irritating. I don't like the sensation of him nursing. It actually now bothers me to look down and see my 4 yr old son latched onto my breast. I want what's best for him, but I am very ready to call it quits, but I also know if I do, he will totally freak out and life will be a misery for us all. Let it also be known that I am nursing a 15 month old ds too, so it's not like older ds won't see me nursing little brother many times each day just to remind him how cruel the world really is.<br><br>
My DH is totally ready to have older ds weaned. He just thinks we're weird now. He won't actually tell me to wean 4 yr old ds, but we've talked about it and he basically just thinks that 4 is too old and ds is too dependent on me. So we actually did a big internet search a few nights ago about average age of weaning worldwide (something like 4.2 yrs old, which is almost exactly how old ds is now). I also know LLL suggests nursing as long as it's agreeable to all parties, which as this point it is not.<br><br>
So... what to do? DO I just go on nursing him because he desperately wants to nurse even though the rest of the family is ready for him to wean? Sure, that sounds easy enough, but this child is REALLY intense, I really mean REALLY INTENSE and I just know that he's going to totally flip out if I try to wean him. So in that sense, it's much easier to let him keep going, which would be fine if it didn't bug me so much. I don't think he'll just stop anytime soon. I have started making daily reminders each morning when he asks to nurse "you know that you won't be nursing much longer..." and such.<br><br>
What would you do?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[homemademomma]

i have SO btdt. can you slowly decrease the nursing sessions? give him a count down, and slowly make it shorter, until you can stop. increase the cuddle time afterwards, maybe.<br><br>
hugs mama, that is SO hard. i wish i had a good answer. i ended up weaning ds cold turkey because i couldnt handle it. it was pretty sad. dd was 2 months old when i weaned him. he was almost 3

 

[lizabird]

I have tried a few times to cut him off early from a nursing session (people suggest singing the ABC song, stuff like that, we tried reading a rather short book) but by golly, he wouldn't let go when I asked him to and then flipped out because he WASN"T DONE YET! AGHHHH!!!!!! (that's my child screaming at the top of his lungs) I feel like I have tried everything except actually just telling him that his nursing days are officially over, but I just can't see myself doing that because it's obvious that it's very important to him still. Someone is just going to be unhappy here, or so it seems <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">

 

[eepster]

Possibly b/c he is feeling so pushed to stop he is holding on to it that much harder.<br><br>
It seems like it has become a bit of a daily ritual. He needs a new ritual that he can replace nursing with. Come up with a new thing you two can do together at the same time of day. Maybe a special game, a song you sing together or a book you read, whatever you like. For a while do it right after you nurse then start asking if he might like to do it first sometimes.<br><br>
Once you have this new together focused on him activity established as part of his day, then start talking about weaning again, but not as a daily reminder thing. Talk about it at other times then right before you nurse so he won't feel as presured.

 

[Limabean1975]

I'm not nearly experienced enough to offer advice, but this is just a thought (I see eepster has the same idea) - maybe taking the pressure off for a while would help. Just stop talking about it, grin and bear it, see what happens.

 

[mandalin24kd]

I agree with a count down. And then maybe find something he really really likes doing instead and tell him he can have this much time nursing or he can choose to do this other thing instead. But he can only have the other thing at nursing time and only if he doesn't nurse.

 

[quinbearzmama]

Hey there, mama.<br>
Completely BTDT. The countdown worked for us and DS just finished nursing (days ago)- but we were down to nursing once every week or so and finally once every two weeks...and ultimately he forgot how to nurse. He just didn't know what to do the last time. Kind of sad, but I had reached the point that you were at- and my DS was "only" 3 years 8mo. Anyway, I think finding another activity is a great idea as well- and my DS still totally finds comfort in his "nursies"- he still likes to snuggle, reaches down my shirt- and I'm okay with that. Good luck<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">

 

[Ruthla]

I think he can sense how much you want him to stop and it's making him want it even more. Trying to cut short that one daily nursing session may only make him feel "cheated" and more likely to hang onto it "stubbornly."<br><br>
I'd try taking all the pressure off for a few weeks and see what happens. Let him nurse every morning without talking about weaning or cutting him short.

 

[theboysmama]

nak<br>
btdt, my dad took ds1 to disney land. First we had a big party and then his grandpa took him to disneyland w/out me. He missed nursing but was ok w/ the "trade". we talked about it for a while before it happened. He is an intese child as well. We did the same thing w/ ds2 and it was also succesful.<br>
good luck