[phishymama]

I'm the proud mama of a 5 yo girl. She's always been picky about what she wears, but it has significantly escalated in the last few months. It started with her socks not being comfortable (too small, too tight, seams, don't feel good in her shoes). It took us hours and 4 stores to find a pair of sneakers for school this year. Now she is making an issue out of underwear. I recently bought her 12 new pairs and she is saying that they are too tight, too baggy, give her a weggie, etc. Getting dressed every morning is an ordeal. She tells me she hates me and that I am mean for making her wear these things.

I don't know if she is doing this because it is truly a sensory issue or if she expressing a need for control for some reason. I'm really at my wit's end about this. It starts our day off badly every day and it's wearing on all of us. Any suggestions on how to handle this or recommendations on specific brands of socks and underwear to try are welcome. Thanks!

 

[samfan]

Please make the assumption that it's a sensory issue and not a control issue. I've been working with my ds on some techniques in a book called "The Explosive Child" and the author says that "children do well if they can." When I was a child I had lots of issue with clothes and my (loving wonderful) mother and others in my life assumed it was a control issue. The battles we had have had a lasting impact for me. They also didn't correct the problem as I still have lots of sensory issues. Two of my three kids do too.
We've been lucky not to have too many sock issues but I do always look for socks for all of us that are fairly thin (hard with boys' socks especially) so they won't get bunched up inside the shoe. With shoes, have you tried having her fitted at a good children's shoe store if there is one in your area? With dd2, she would not keep shoes on her feet at all till she was 3 years old. It gets cold here and I got lots of looks for my daughter's stocking feet in winter. We finally went to our local children's shoe store and were fitted by the owner. He took one look at her feet and said that they were extremely wide and there are very few models of shoe that fit her right. Well lo and behold, she started wearing her shoes once they fit correctly! As for underwear, to be quite honest, I gave up on it for ds. No one at school has ever found out that he doesn't wear it and he's just much more comfortable that way (even though it seems kinda wrong to me not to wear it!).

 

[KimPM]

Is there any way that you can have her try on the underwear before you buy it (with her wearing something like other underwear or a swimsuit under the new ones of course). Ask her to help you pick out the ones she wants to try.