[stormchaser_al]

I am at my wits end with her. In the last month she has turned from a sweet little kid into this...well bossy, sassy mouth child. I have tried to talk to her and told her that her behavior is not acceptable. She continues. I have taken away priveleges,etc but it doesn't work. I don't believe in spanking so that is not an option.

I know it is probably a phase she is going through. Yes, we have had a lot to happen in our family this summer and she could be reacting to those events but she doesn't seem to bother by the things that have happen. She is also getting ready to start a new school this year instead of the K-1 school where her aunt taught and she could go over to her class when she wanted to go. Well after her work was done. So I am sure that might be taking a toll out on her. But I am at my wits end.

For instance yesterday we were at Wal-Mart and she decided to pitch the biggest fit ever. She layed in the floor and screamed. I tried to pick her up but I couldn't because she was kicking and swaying her legs. People were staring and kids were even looking. Finally my mom was able to get her up and walk to at least the lobby area where she continue her screaming.

This past week she stayed with her other grandparents. This is the first time I have let them keep her. She really gave her granny a hard time and her granddaddy was very verbal abusive. Needless to say she will not stay with them again without me there. He thinks something is wrong with her. I told him that if someone talk to me like that I probably would knocked them for a loop. (No not really)

And this morning I got to go clean a condo and I have let them sleep in this morning. It is 9:51. She got up and now is fighting me over the fact that she is not going with me. I feel like I am pulling my hair out. I don't want to be the mean ole mom but sometimes I feel like I am. Nothing I do seem to curve the behavior. I have talked to her teachers in the past and they say they don't see this type of behavior. She doesn't do it at school, ballet, or sports. It is something she does around me, my mom, and the relatives.

I just needed some place to vent.

 

[stormchaser_al]

I think I have found out what is bothering my daughter. I got her to open up today and talk. For the last two years of school she has had this girl in her class who has made her life miserable. None of the teachers see it because she doesn't things when no one is looking. The only reason why I witness her acts was because I was at a birthday party one day and she didn't realize that I was watching or listening to her. So I know that what my daughter is saying is true. She is downright mean. She tells the other kids that if they want to be her friend that they can't be Laura's friend. She stills Laura's food at school. Calls her name like little itty bitty and stupid. Now she is on a new thing...Laura's teeth. Laura has gotten two of permanent teeth up front and they looked a little out of place right now. She will probably need braces down the road. Well now little Ms. Priss is making fun of her teeth and calling her big teeth.

We start school this coming Thursday and we don't know who the kids in her class are yet. Laura is scared that this kid is going to be in her class and she doesn't want to deal with her anymore. I have hinted to the counselor and last year teacher that Laura and said child didn't get along and that I would like them separated this year because it has been going on two years. So I don't know if they will be in the same class. And it is not school either. At the ballet recital last year the teachers had to reprimand said child for tripping Laura before recital. She literally put her foot out and tripped her and started laughing. So not only I have seen it but so have two of the teachers at ballet. Something was said to her mom but her comment was kids will be kids. Well I am tired of her kid being a bully and making my child's life miserable.

 

[Softmama]

wow-I was just talking to a friend of mine in a similar situation.
If you find out on the first day that they are in the same class I would go in and haver your daughter switched to another class. I know they don't like to do that, but with enough pressure they will. I will talk to my friend and find out what type of resources she has found for this. She has done a lot of research on the female type of bully (apparently very different from the boys).
I'm so glad your daughter opened up to you.

 

[stormchaser_al]

I have also read up a little on the internet and it is amazing the difference. I am relieved that my daughter did come out and tell me what was going on with her. I want her to feel that she can come to me anytime and tell me anything. We will know more on Wednesday whether or not she is in the class. I am hoping since the teacher my daughter got is a fairly new teacher here that she will not have her. Her mom likes her to have the teachers that have been here a while. So maybe she will not have this teacher.

Times have changed since I was in school. I don't remember the bullying starting this early in life. I think it was fourth grade when I remember one particular kid bullying me. Of course she didn't do it long.

 

[LynnS6]

Hi,

I think you need to call the school NOW and tell them that (a) your daughter has been bullied by this child (give details) and that (b) you do not want her in the same class as your daughter. "Hinting" isn't going to cut it. You need to be a major PITA right now so that your daughter gets what she needs.

I'd also highly recommend the book "The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander" - it's got some great information about things you can do, and about things the school can do. All of what you are describing is CLASSIC girl bullying - and they are hard to catch.

 

[stormchaser_al]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnS6 Hi, I think you need to call the school NOW and tell them that (a) your daughter has been bullied by this child (give details) and that (b) you do not want her in the same class as your daughter. "Hinting" isn't going to cut it. You need to be a major PITA right now so that your daughter gets what she needs. I'd also highly recommend the book "The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander" - it's got some great information about things you can do, and about things the school can do. All of what you are describing is CLASSIC girl bullying - and they are hard to catch.

Thanks. I am going up to the school on Monday to put my name on the sub list and I am going to talk to her teacher and the counselor.

 

[stormchaser_al]

I went up to the school today and guess what...the little girl is not in my daughter's class this year. I am so happy that I could do a little dance of Joy. I just feel sorry for the next child she decides to pick on. Since my daughter will not be there for to pick on and bully I am sure she will find someone in her new class.

 

[Softmama]

I am so happy for your daughter!! That is fantastic and now she has a shot at a happy year

 

[Softmama]

Ok, in case you are still interested in this information (sorry it took me so long to get it, friend was on vacation and then her house was hit by lightning!!):

Here is a list of books and resources for the woman you know that is having troubles with her daughter:
"Queen Bees and Wannabees" by Rosalind Wiseman
"Odd Girl Out" by Rachel Simmons
"The Bully, the bullied and the bystander" by Barbara Coloroso
"Bully-proofing your child: A Paren't guide" by Carla Garrity
stopbullyingnow.com
opheliaprogect.org
kidpower.org
schwablearning.org

Her best bet is to spend some time at a good book store. I didn't find much at our Books A Million but had great luck at a little local book store in Maine. She can probably find many more resources at one of the websites mentioned above. Its a tough subject and it breaks your heart when your little girl is in a situation like this. For me, its an on-going process... Isa is only 5 and has already been effected by female aggression and bullying. I want to keep her from going through what I went through all during school - ugghhh!