My Almost 3 yr old is asking what a word says

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I would tell her what the word said.

If she was asking about a lot of words, I might throw in some information about patterns (phonics), to see if she was interested, like, "All of the words that start with an "s" will start with the sound /s/." If she seemed annoyed or uninterested, I'd leave it; if she asked for more I'd tell her more.

Dar

My dd taught herself to read when she was 4. She was a proficient reader when she was 5. She'll be 7 in a month or so, and if I told you what she was reading now, you wouldn't believe me

She started with asking me what words say. Since she was so young, I didn't feel pressured to "teach" at first. I just told her. I threw in hints. I gradually started throwing in hints like "when there's an e at the end, the vowel in the middle usually says it's name."

Phonics instruction was organic. I'm a proficient reader but the "rules" weren't always apparent to me. I really had to think about how decoding works.

I bought a set of Bob books when she started learning to read. She hated them. I encouraged Dr. Seuess. She was so over it!

I didn't want to burn her out or convince her that reading is hard, so I didn't push it. She was only 3!!

We borrowed a Magic Treehouse audio book for a long drive when she was four. It sparked a fire. The library didn't have any more MT audio books, but they did have the paper copies, so we borrowed a few. I started reading the first one to her one night, and when I tired of reading aloud, she kept reading on her own.

We've been burning up the library card ever since

As far as schooling style--we're not strict unschoolers. Dd learned to read in an unschooling way, but now she prefers more structure.

If my younger dd doesn't read spontaneously by the time she's six or so, we'll start working on it with more regularity.

My older son used to ask me what stuff said at this age wherever he saw it and I just told him. We didn't go further than that, because I feel he was only looking for the answer to that question, YK? He doesn't read yet, but he knows the basics of phonics and has made a lot of assumptions/realizations on his own. I'm confident that he will reach a point where he wants to do more. With my kids, they seem to learn in waves. Like, there's a wave of interest, followed like the tide, if you will, going out. Then, the wave comes back in and they want confirmation or they want to know more, then it goes back out again. Every time the wave comes back in, they have either pieced together more info or they're more solid in what they previously understood. For us, anyway, it's not a linear progression; I'm sure they're going to get there when they get there.

On Monday at the zoo, my 2yr old wanted to know what the sign said, so I told him ("Don't feed the animals."). I think he just wanted to know what it said. I, personally, wouldn't give more info at that time, but I mean, it's very individual. Only you can know what your child really wants. I can just share that I've learned with my almost-5-yr-old that, learning to read is a really long and convuluted process with lots of detours and pit-stops. It takes a lot longer that I thought it would if you take the scenic route like we have, but it's all good.

It's a big step for your child, because it's an interest in literacy; it's laying the foundation. I, personally, would let him continue to lay the foundation before trying to build on it. Just my two cents.

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: It's pretty obvious to me that all of us use both methods when we read. I mean, when you look at the words "the cat", you don't sit there and say, "th uh k ah t, th-uh k-ah-t, the cat." We sight read the words. On the other hand, if you've never seen the word "anthropomorphic" before, you would sound it out. I really don't think it matters, ultimately, which "method" you learned by, we all ultimately read the same way. Which method you use should be tailored to your particular child's strengths. Talia has been asking me what sounds letters make and trying to sound out words on her own. Clearly, she's wired to start with a phonics approach, and as she grows accustomed to reading certain words, they'll become sight words. Your son may be wired to learn as a sight reader, and as he develops a repetoire of sight words, he'll recognise patterns in them that will allow him to work out new words.

Anyway, I say, follow your child's lead. If he wants you to tell him a word, tell him. Don't say, oh, gee, it's time to teach him 20 other words, just because he was interested in one or two. Just follow his lead

Thank you very much for the advice and encouragement!

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Great insight about my child. Ds IS the kind of child to find patterns afterwards. Thanks for pointing that out!

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I NEED to learn phonics. I don't rmember ANY phonics or spelling rules except "i before e except after c"

Thank you again mammas

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I don't know any other phonics rules either. I was a sight-reader and so is my dh. Neither of us remember sounding words out. My mother said I spontaneously read at the zoo one day. I think it's that thing about collecting the words and making later associations and insights. I am starting to wonder if it's a genetic tendency. We started a bit of phonics with my 4yo at his request, but it just doesn't click for him. Meanwhile, he picks up sight words very easily. A bit OT, but relevant to your particular post. I read well above grade level, but simultaneously did very poorly on phonics tests. I don't think everyone is wired to learn by a phonics method and I'm nervous about confusing my kids like Jen123 described. To me, it's another reason to go child-led on reading rather than instructing at a very young age.

my dd was asking what the road signs were saying even when she was just 2. Now she is 2.8 yo and she is desparately keen to write. Of course she cannot make most letters but she makes ones like H and T and U and C on her own and asks me to make dots for the other ones that she can join. She also wants to write in our native language which has even more curvy lines and fewer straight ones. Even when I make dots for her to trace, she really doesnt have the hang of writing, she gets more hung up with connecting each dot to the next one and you end up with very jagged lines.

I personally wish she would get interested in something else till her motor skills catch up with her mental interests, but who am I to interfere. As with most things, I take the approach of answering questions when asked and getting neither tempted to ask her to figure out herself what she does ask (even if I think she could) nor tell her anything more than what she has asked. I have already seen how adamantly she refuses help when she does not need it so I have no problem helping her for what she asks. Reminding dh, MIL etc of this is yet another matter, of course.

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I'm going to gently disagree with part of what you said. I think that offering materials often communicates that we as parents are invested in what the child is doing or not doing and that it's therefore important to us on some level that the child learn it. So an expectation is created and many children (talking about little ones here) will want to please us. When they are unable to do the task because they have the fine motor skills of whatnot of a typical 2 or 3 year old, they become frustrated. The level of frustration is going to depend on personality and other variables, but it's there. Additionally, depending on the type of materials and how specific the use is, some children are going to have perfectionism issues that relate to their own knowledge that they are not doing the task as it's intended and it also affects their self-esteem.

Again, I'm talking about toddlers and young preschoolers, who, honestly, most of the time, are not developmentally driven to do academic tasks. They all develop differently, but most 2 and young 3 year olds are not going to sit and write on their own. Something like alphabet blocks are harmless, IMHO, because they can be used as a toy. Something like a tracing sheet can only be used as a tracing sheet. Give a 2 year old alphabet blocks and most will build with them. Give a 2 year old a tracing sheet and there's nothing else that child can do but trace. Sure, they can scribble, but they can also scribble on blank paper. The expectation is there the the letter is supposed to be traced. Then, we wonder at a later time why our child is so frustrated with his writing skills or so desperately wants to read but just can't do it yet. Why is it so important to the child to learn it? We have to look back on what subtle expectations we've possibly set up. Little kids like to please us.

I mean, I've done this. I offered a math workbook to my 3 year old, because he was doing some simple math. And yes, he did let me know that he wasn't interested past the first page or two. But it created some funky dynamic for some time and frustration on both our parts. At a later age, he'd blow through that workbook, so there was no advantage, IMO, to trying to develop those budding skills "now" (i.e. then). I mean, sure he agreed to go along with it initially, but I'm the one that presented the workbook so that expectation or awareness of "lack of skills" was introduced by me, even though my intentions were golden.

Just my humble two cents...