I could have written this post. In fact, I did about a month ago. I have a Childless By Choice
BIL who is ALWAYS telling me how to parent DS.
The last time he did this, he was holding DS and DS was pushing against his chest trying to get away from BIL. Hearing DS crying and calling "Mooommmyyy" I rushed out of the bedroom and the moment DS saw me, he reached his little arms out to me and I grabbed my child.
BIL was furious! He said to me "You can't come running EVERY time DS starts crying for you. Let the boy cry". Let me tell you, since my child was present and since my consoling him was my TOP priority at the moment...had dynamics would have been different, I would have said some hurtful words to Childless-By-Choice BIL and created an irrepairable relationship.
In a cool, even clipped voice, I just calmly said to him "BIL, do not ever tell me how to raise my child...do you understand me? I refuse to stand here and get into a debate with you on MY Parenting skills."
And walked away with a "mental note" to have a discussion with DH- on drawing much needed boundaries with regards to BIL's behavior.
Which we did but that's another Post
This happened either last month or the month before. I hadn't seen BIL again since this past Sunday. I greeted him cordially, but with distance. My whole demeanor had changed because before he arrived, I was laughing and talking with SIL and having a good time. She and I planned a family dinner.
Anyway, BIL got out the car, I said Hello and he said Hello back. During the 2 hour time period he was there, I stood right by DS's side. Kind of like his shadow as BIL is good about discipling but withOUT reasoning.
His way of dealing with a Toddler's Tantrum is to "beat it out of him".
The more he keeps his distance, it makes for better family dynamics for all involved.
But at least he knows I have ZERO respect for his alleged Parenting skills.